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[-] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 2 months ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[-] Xerxos@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"One" hit

"Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"

...

...

"What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

"Three" smash Pope: "OUCH!!!"

...

...

"Now what?"

[-] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?

[-] javiwhite@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.

[-] scuppie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago

The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[-] Stamau123@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Plot twist: THAC0 bonus actually reduced your THAC0

[-] Necroscope0@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

This felt like a personal attack

[-] DemBoSain@midwest.social 8 points 2 months ago

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Can't let that happen again.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago
[-] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 months ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

"The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!"

[-] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[-] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 5 points 2 months ago
[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 4 points 2 months ago

Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.

[-] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Pope Says he's feeling better now...

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[-] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.

[-] Pacrat173@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago
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[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 2 months ago

The hammer is in fact eight feet long.

They're making really sure.

[-] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

What about the holy hand grenade?

[-] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

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[-] bdot@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[-] creamlike504@jlai.lu 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

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[-] grissino@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago
[-] normalexit@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Jesus allegedly came back, they aren't taking those kinds of risks these days

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Live your life such that they have to verify your death

[-] qbus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago
[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 1 points 2 months ago

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

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this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
132 points (97.1% liked)

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