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Let's have a lunch and learn!

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[-] original_reader@lemm.ee 63 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Alright, team, let’s circle back and ensure we’re fully aligned on our north star objectives. We need to leverage synergy, engage in blue-sky thinking, and touch base on our pain points to drive mission-critical outcomes. But let’s not boil the ocean with unnecessary jargon - at the end of the day, we need to optimize our bandwidth for real, value-driven impact. If we keep moving the needle with this kind of thought leadership theater, we risk losing sight of our core competencies and drowning in a sea of meaningless buzzwords. Let’s pivot toward clear, actionable insights and sunset the overuse of strategic messaging before it becomes a blocker to true innovation. Instead of just playing the fast-follow game with every trending framework, let’s focus on original, high-impact execution that actually drives results.

~~Thoughts?~~ Chris, do you have any builds?

No?

Good. Then let's action this and drive it across the finish line!

[-] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Jesus fucking Christ. This was excellently written and horribly real.

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[-] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 10 points 1 month ago

I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 7 points 1 month ago

Perfect except for ‘Thoughts?’ Instead of that it should be an appeal to the speaker’s boss: ‘Chris, do you have any builds?’

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[-] PetteriPano@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Thanks. It hit close to home. I hate it.

[-] Kaliax@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 month ago
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[-] jade52@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago
  1. Alignment
  2. Scalable
  3. Circle back

If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.

[-] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 6 points 1 month ago

I always hated “circle back” but I did get into using it ironically for a while.

[-] bdot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

“let’s just put a pin in that, and circle back to it later”

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[-] Wazowski@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Every meeting should be a fucking email.

[-] jade52@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

I spend more time in meetings talking about the work I'm going to do, than doing the actual fucking work.

[-] frank@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

Bro I have my first "big company" job after working smaller places for over a decade. This feels so real. I'm dying.

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[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Synergy

Mostly because I have never heard it used correctly in the context of a copprate speech/talk.

[-] platypode@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 month ago

Bio break.

I don’t think I have to elaborate on that one.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Thats not so much a corpo thing as a gamer thing IMO.

"AFK, Bio break" is much quicker to type.

[-] swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Quicker than “brb, bathroom”?

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[-] otp@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

I like it because it's so vague.

A nap is pretty biological! And nobody will ask why your bio break was an hour long.

[-] Landless2029@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

This is a gamer term. I've never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.

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[-] dukeofdummies@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

I heard "rightsizing" for the first time last year.

I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.

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[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Tribal knowledge."

  • image: We, clan. Together, strong.
  • reality: Ask Tommy if he remembers how to reset the printer

Though, I actually like this one. It's a pretty cool phrase you can use anywhere.

[-] ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

I don't mind lunch and learns. I get overtime for that, AND they buy me lunch. I'm either stuck near the office for an unproductive hour I don't get paid for, or at my desk working on the same shit I was earlier for an extra hour.

But all the bullshit buzzwords attempting to paint employees standing up for themselves as bad things are obnoxious as hell: quiet quitting and the like

[-] solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

Yeah.... bring your own sack lunch and it's "voluntary", so no OT. That the lunch and learn I'm familiar with anyway.

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[-] MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 12 points 1 month ago

"Lean and nimble"

"Moving with a sense of purpose"

"We're like a family"

"Synergy"

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

“High energy multitasker”

“Detail oriented”

“Fast paced environment”

Translates to: “You will be simultaneously micromanaged and expected to know everything with no prior documentation, and you will be underpaid for your efforts. We also have no organization whatsoever :)))”

[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

"Fast paced environment" is the one that always gets me, because that's just explicitly admitting that their organization is a total clusterfuck but somehow this inevitably gets put in the bullet points list because some bozo apparently thinks this is a positive thing that will make people want to work wherever-it-is.

All it means is that you'd better show up wearing roller skates because management is going to expect you to be in three places at once all the time.

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[-] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

There are many but I find "let's double-click on that" particularly grating

[-] pezhore@infosec.pub 14 points 1 month ago

I always reply with, "Or we could right-click on that to see our options".

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[-] AmidFuror@fedia.io 8 points 1 month ago

People saying something needs to be flushed out when they really want it fleshed out.

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[-] Pavidus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago
[-] resipsaloquitur@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
  1. Ideate
  2. Ask (noun)
  3. Table (verb)

Does “tabling” mean putting a subject on the table or taking it off?

[-] BluuTato@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

“That’s a big ask” drives me crazy. I’ve been hearing it everywhere lately. When did ‘ask’ become a noun?

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[-] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Tabling means to save for later. You put it in the table to deal with it another time.

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[-] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago
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[-] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 5 points 1 month ago
[-] NotAnotherLemmyUser@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

What do you have against massages? I find them relaxing.

[-] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 9 points 1 month ago

I don’t remember what it was exactly but someone said something along the lines of “we’ll need to massage it a bit as we roll it out” regarding a new system being implemented.

[-] jade52@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Oh god I've heard that one many times before as well. It's like adult baby talk

[-] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

I used to have a coworker who would also say things like "I'll ping you after the meeting" and I'd chuckle because it sounded so stupid.

One day he asked me why I was smirking and I lied and told him "You know what 'pinging' means, right? It's the act of putting a metal rod in your urethra and tapping it with a tuning fork."

He NEVER said it again.

[-] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 8 points 1 month ago

I always think of the ping command line utility because I haven’t really used the word outside that context ever.

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[-] uberdroog@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago
[-] KammicRelief@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

This isn't strictly corpo-speak, but upper mgmt type people do this a lot:
Misuse of the word "myself." Like, "if you have any questions, talk to Joe or myself."
Nice one dumb-ass--you tried to sound smarter by adding syllables but it didn't work, did it!

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[-] Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Any mention of "family" and I'm out. You aren't my fucking family. I barely tolerate any of you, and I only go that far because I am forced to participate in this bullshit just so I can feed and shelter myself. Just give me my project, shut your dick sheath, and let me grind my life away in silence.

On a totally unrelated note, "team player".

[-] Nikls94@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

"Makes you feel like character"

Yes, this movie about a billionaire with severe mental issues who lost both of his parents makes me feel like I lost my parents too.

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this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
71 points (98.6% liked)

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