Alright, team, let’s circle back and ensure we’re fully aligned on our north star objectives. We need to leverage synergy, engage in blue-sky thinking, and touch base on our pain points to drive mission-critical outcomes. But let’s not boil the ocean with unnecessary jargon - at the end of the day, we need to optimize our bandwidth for real, value-driven impact. If we keep moving the needle with this kind of thought leadership theater, we risk losing sight of our core competencies and drowning in a sea of meaningless buzzwords. Let’s pivot toward clear, actionable insights and sunset the overuse of strategic messaging before it becomes a blocker to true innovation. Instead of just playing the fast-follow game with every trending framework, let’s focus on original, high-impact execution that actually drives results.

~~Thoughts?~~ Chris, do you have any builds?

No?

Good. Then let's action this and drive it across the finish line!

1. Alignment
2. Scalable
3. Circle back

If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.

Synergy

Mostly because I have never heard it used correctly in the context of a copprate speech/talk.

Bio break.

I don’t think I have to elaborate on that one.

I heard "rightsizing" for the first time last year.

I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.

"Tribal knowledge."

• image: We, clan. Together, strong.
• reality: Ask Tommy if he remembers how to reset the printer

Though, I actually like this one. It's a pretty cool phrase you can use anywhere.

I don't mind lunch and learns. I get overtime for that, AND they buy me lunch. I'm either stuck near the office for an unproductive hour I don't get paid for, or at my desk working on the same shit I was earlier for an extra hour.

But all the bullshit buzzwords attempting to paint employees standing up for themselves as bad things are obnoxious as hell: quiet quitting and the like

"Lean and nimble"

"Moving with a sense of purpose"

"We're like a family"

"Synergy"

There are many but I find "let's double-click on that" particularly grating

People saying something needs to be flushed out when they really want it fleshed out.

Growth.

1. Ideate
2. Ask (noun)
3. Table (verb)

Does “tabling” mean putting a subject on the table or taking it off?

AI

• bandwidth
• massage
• ping

Mitigation

This isn't strictly corpo-speak, but upper mgmt type people do this a lot:
Misuse of the word "myself." Like, "if you have any questions, talk to Joe or myself."
Nice one dumb-ass--you tried to sound smarter by adding syllables but it didn't work, did it!

Any mention of "family" and I'm out. You aren't my fucking family. I barely tolerate any of you, and I only go that far because I am forced to participate in this bullshit just so I can feed and shelter myself. Just give me my project, shut your dick sheath, and let me grind my life away in silence.

On a totally unrelated note, "team player".

"Makes you feel like character"

Yes, this movie about a billionaire with severe mental issues who lost both of his parents makes me feel like I lost my parents too.