772
Fax machine (lemmy.world)
top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] einlander@lemmy.world 145 points 1 month ago

She can cum if she wants to, she can leave her friends behind.

[-] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 month ago

Cuz her friends dont cum and if they don't cum that's their choice and I don't mind.

[-] tpihkal@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Yeah, that's what my brain said too 😂

[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I'd rather she bring her friends along...

[-] anonymouse2@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Cum if she wants to. Cum around the world.

[-] terminhell@lemmy.world 89 points 1 month ago

Jokes aside - I've heard, from sex therapist friends that getting off isn't your partners job. It's yours. Your partner is there just to help.

[-] theUwUhugger@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago

Sex therapist sounds a lot more fun job that it probably is!

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago

It's not premature ejaculation, my partner is just really good at helping. Its always my fault though.

[-] the_radness@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Howdy-do, fellow minute-man!

If your dick can't do the walking, let your tongue do the talking.

[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 24 points 1 month ago

With the exception of "if you came, it doesn't mean you consented"

[-] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

I mean sure. It's also okay to want a partner that cares about your experience during intimate, vulnerable acts instead of a guy who sees you as just a useful hole

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world -5 points 1 month ago

I guess, but my history makes me feel like I'm batting a thousand. I guess I bring that "I'll do what your body needs, lemme know" kinda vibe to the bedroom.

Have there been misses? Of course. Have there been partners that achieved orgasm in ways they didn't think would happen? Also yes.

[-] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago
[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Just finished getting the baby ready for my wife to take her to group childcare.

[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 61 points 1 month ago

It's my party I can cum if I want to

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

sir, this is a fast food establishment.

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 14 points 1 month ago

Please take off the crown before you leave.

[-] mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub 60 points 1 month ago

If her friends don't cum- and if they don't cum- well they're no friends of mine

[-] ceenote@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago

You seem to be close to orgasm! Would you like assistance? Please sign this consent form.

[-] BlueKey@fedia.io 28 points 1 month ago

I read the first two sentences with an image of Clippy in my head.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

clitty the intimacy assistant

Edit: "orifice assistant" was right there. fuck.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

clippy would say "sounds like you're..."

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 month ago

I don't make her cum, I allow her to, once she's earned it. And she better thank me for it.

Then hugs and kisses all around, and usually a snack and some coffee after (she loves when I pour her a cup of coffee).

[-] loomy@lemy.lol 31 points 1 month ago
[-] match@pawb.social 21 points 1 month ago

weird how all your sexual partners don't seem to want to cum when you're around tho

[-] qarbone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I've noticed these coincidences. It's starting to look like a pattern.

[-] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

Thats a true woman lover

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 1 month ago

If an own goal was ever worth a trophy this is a great example.

[-] Stovetop@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Title made me think of one of my favorite videos.

https://youtu.be/xWyUs3CLE0Y

[-] otacon239@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

YESSSS. This was one of the first videos I ever saw back on the legendary r/youtubehaiku in its heyday.

this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
772 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

32891 readers
1275 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS