SNL writers need to be made to commit Harakiri

With a bamboo blade

Have you ever looked at a tree and thought, 'Can I drink this?'

1. If your bit depends on the audience being too stupid to remember that fruit juice exists, it's a bad bit.
2. American dairy products often contain trace chemical contaminants from sources much scarier than trees. Link
3. Interestingly, wood pulp does have a history as a food additive, but it's less of a "millennial nonsense" thing and more of a "ripoff scheme sometimes attempted by the agro-food establishment during periods of lax government oversight" thing. Link

The entire bit seems to exist to create one moment where Aubrey says "Got Wood?" while her upper lip is covered by a 'wood milk mustache'.

All dairy politics is sexual pathology.

That lobby group's primary concern is a lower milk consumption among zoomers and millenials. And all of their marketing about it is just awful. Younger people don't find plant based milks weird enough for the messaging here to stick.

I just watched the ad that shit is unforgivable. Imagine being in the middle of the most overwhelming hyperobject crisis humanity has ever experienced, taking a cheque from capital to do propaganda that actually any mitigation of even personal behaviour is a fucking joke you need to continue to contribute to deforestation and increased methane emissions.

Like yeah right-wingers do that all the time because they're psychos. Hard to imagine Aubrey Plaza doesn't think she should continue to be allowed to participate in polite company though.

Oh, you like plant milk? Well you know where it comes from? Plants. Gottem.

Arent the only people against plant milk are :frothingfash: who literally thinks soy milk has estrogen?