[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago

International education is so damn important for the US economy, both in terms of importing smart people who will do research and maybe work in the US, but also it just brings in rich foreign teens who pay full price at uni. The US is shooting itself in the foot.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Literally all the ppl I've seen complain about white veganism or privileged vegans have been white. Like I'm sure there are plenty of POC making this claim, and as a white person I'll sit and listen, but it feels overly silly for white carnists to make this.

I can't stop repeating the claim that all the research I've seen shows that lower income people are more likely to go vegan, and rich people are less likely. Posh people are going to be more selfish. In my experience they don't stick with veganism as well, and it's more often tied to a short-term health fad.

Edit: I forgot the "black people are 3 times more likely to be vegan" headline. I think it says a lot that marginalised groups go vegan faster than the dominant social groups do.

124

Someone that did all the work

Honestly it's far too fucking late

105

I get this a lot from friends and acquaintances: "ButtBidet, how do you do it? How do you have money put away yet still have a bit of free time". I don't normally like to share all my tricks, because if everyone did it, businesses would catch on and it would stop being so successful. You all are like family, tho. I think it's fair that I share it with you.

Here are a few tricks I found to save some money and time. 🤫 don't tell everyone, just people you know and trust. 😉

  1. Before buying anything, scour the Internet for deals. - I can't get over how often I was gonna buy something on Amazon, only to find it half the price on Aliexpress or Ubuy. Give it a Google search before hitting "purchase".
  2. Call up and haggle with your insurance company - Tell them that you found a better deal. Many customer service representatives are empowered to give discounts of 10-20% to keep a client.
  3. Cancel unused subscriptions - I can over how much people pay for Spotify or Netflix. If you're not watching it, cancel it. That $20 a month really adds up.
  4. Travel at off peak times - Did you know that flights on Tuesday are so much cheaper than on Saturday? Leaving the house at 8am on a Sunday uses so much less petrol than leaving at 1pm. Plan ahead with your trips, and you can save so much.
  5. Have a cleaner come once a week to do a deep clean - Getting under sofas, in ovens, or under sinks is really tiring and time consuming. Get some outside help, and enjoy the extra time.
  6. Order door dash instead of cooking - Shopping, preparing, cooking, and cleaning are really time consuming. Order food from your favourite restaurant, and enjoy high quality food without the effort.
  7. Rent out the home your parents' bought for you - $3000 a month for rent doesn't sound like much, but times 12 months and you've got $36k, more than a lot of people make in a YEAR! It'll be hard, but you'll thank yourself for the savings.
  8. Manage your employees to work off the clock - Labour costs are expensive, save where you can. One way to get your workers to work for free is to give them an unreasonable quota, something they definitely won't finish in 8 hours. If they stay an extra two hours past their shift to finish, that's money in the bank for you!
  9. Use political connections to get government contracts - Those politicians aren't doing anything. Call them up and get them to work for you! There's a lot done by government employees that you can easily have done by your workers who make much less. Make up a story about "efficiency" and have your dad's newspaper repeat it over and over.
  10. Start wars to destroy redundant production and increase the size of your markets - If you're finding that profits are flat, sales are down, and there's no new customers coming your way, go for war. Most people in your settler country are pretty racist already, it's not hard to stoke hatred for a non-white country far away. Occupation armies are guaranteed customers, as well as the new shops you'll able to open up (because your competition is obliterated)
20

Sorry there's some lib energy in this article

Article Text:

During the LA fires, dozens of fire trucks sat in the boneyard, waiting for repairs the city couldn't afford. Why? A private equity roll-up made replacing and repairing those trucks much pricier.

One of the reasons that the recent Los Angeles wildfires were so hard to contain, according to Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD) Chief Kristin Crowley, is that more than half of the LAFD’s fire trucks have been out of service. It’s become a bit of a scandal; while fires burned through Palisades and Eaton neighborhoods, more than 100 of the LAFD’s 183 fire trucks were apparently sidelined.

Why couldn’t the LAFD keep its equipment in working order? A lot of people blame budget cuts, but there’s another root issue - increasing prices and metastasizing production delays for these vehicles. The cost of fire trucks has skyrocketed in recent years––going from around $300 -500,000 for a pumper truck and $750-900,000 for a ladder truck in the mid-2010s, to around $1 million for a pumper truck and $2 million for a ladder truck in the last couple years. Meanwhile, the time it takes to get a fire truck delivered has grown dramatically, from less than a year before the pandemic to anywhere between 2 and 4.5 years today. (It’s not just trucks, all fire equipment is increasing quickly in price, from air supply packs to maintenance contracts.)

The skyrocketing prices and longer delivery times have made it difficult for the LAFD to replace aging vehicles in its fleet, many of which have exceeded their service life. As the LAFD’s vehicles have gotten older, they’ve become prone to more frequent and serious breakdowns, leading to more costly repairs and prolonged downtime. And as the rising cost of fire-truck maintenance and replacement has squeezed the department’s budget, it has had fewer resources for recruiting and retaining firefighters. Against this backdrop, the LAFD wound up having to face some of the worst fires LA has seen in a century while both understaffed and under-equipped.

What I’ll show you in this piece is that the increasing price is a result of a private equity firm, American Industrial Partners, consolidating the fire truck industry and forcing up prices across the board. For decades before the 2010s, the fire apparatus industry was characterized by relatively stable (inflation-adjusted) prices and ample production capacity.

Then, however, AIP bought multiple fire-truck manufacturers and rolled them up into conglomerate called the REV Group. Although AIP initially made a show of allowing these manufacturers and their distributors to continue operating independently, under the surface it quickly moved to operate them as a single firm, like a food conglomerate selling a bunch of different brands that all appear to be different companies. As one industry executive has observed, “There are now times when all vendors at a bid table, each with a ‘different’ product, are all owned and managed by the same parent company. How is that competitive for the purchaser?” The answer, of course, is that it isn’t. And you don’t need to take my word for it. REV Fire Group Vice President of Sales Mike Virnig made it clear in 2020: “What I won’t tolerate is negative selling,” he said. “I won’t tolerate it with our competitors, and I won’t tolerate it within the group. If I even get a hint or see anything like a dealer taking a shot at another dealer, we step in and say, ‘Stop it.’”

Before getting to how AIP operates, I want to note that higher costs of trucks are not just an LA problem. The Seattle Fire Department is also struggling to replace and maintain an aging fire truck fleet. So is the Houston Fire Department, and the Atlanta Fire Department. Across the country, in communities large and small, headlines about fire departments struggling to cope with metastasizing fire-truck prices and bottlenecks in fire apparatus supply chain have become commonplace. “Waiting Lists and Higher Prices Add Up to Long Delays for New Fire Trucks,” says the Connecticut Examiner. “Why did that fire truck cost $1.9 million? Because it just does,” says a small-town news website in Kansas. "Despite FIRE Act grant,” the Tribune-Review of Pennsylvania reports, “Export, PA, fire department says rising fire apparatus costs a challenge.” Illustration by Daniel Medina

Even when fire departments can put together these large sums of money for new trucks, they can’t seem to get the dang things because of steep delays in production. Since 2019, “[T]he lead times for delivery from [the] date the order is placed [for a new a fire truck] to final inspection has gone from 10-12 months to greater than 2 years in many cases and in some cases approaching 3 years.” The Seattle Fire Department says it faces even longer wait times, with ladder trucks orders taking 54 months — 4.5 years — to be fulfilled. In an emergency, Evanston, Illinois, spent over $2.3 million to try to get a fire truck in a year and a half — and it was a demo vehicle previously ordered by a dealer and passed down to the city as a favor, without any of the customizations that fire departments typically require.

The Economic Termite That Ate Up the Fire Apparatus Industry

The modern fire apparatus and emergency vehicle manufacturing industry came into its own in the post-war decades of the 1950s and 1960s. Aided by antitrust enforcement actions that protected small manufacturers from exclusionary practices and ensured they could source necessary supplies (like steel) at the same discounts as large firms, small and midsized fire apparatus manufacturers––typically family-owned operations––appeared in every region of the country to produce emergency vehicles tailored to the needs of local fire department. Competition among these smaller firms served to keep fire truck prices near costs, and the existence of a large number of manufacturers ensured there was always plenty of redundant manufacturing capacity to meet demand.

This remained the case well into the 2000s. Then, the Great Financial Crisis decimated municipal budgets, which in turn decimated demand for new fire trucks. The number of fire truck’s ordered plummeted from 5,000-6,000 a year to around 3,000 a year. At the same time, many of the manufacturers in the industry began facing leadership succession questions, as founders were aging and considering their options for retirement. That’s when a private equity group, American Industrial Partners (AIP), took an interest in rolling up the industry.

AIP’s initial theory was that, with sales depressed and succession issues on the horizon, the owners of fire apparatus manufacturers could be convinced to sell on the cheap. That theory turned out to be mostly wrong––the family-owned players in the industry were resilient. The only fire apparatus company that AIP was able to nab at the bottom of the market was a large, investor-owned manufacturer of fire trucks and ambulances, Federal Signal/E-ONE. As late as 2015, there were still “approximately two-dozen companies producing motorized fire apparatus in the United States,” including “nine full-line manufacturers producing their own chassis for pumper and ladder trucks,” and “fifteen limited-line manufacturers producing only pumpers based on purchased chassis.” All twenty-four manufacturers were either independent or owned by a separate parent company.

Nonetheless, AIP’s acquisition of E-ONE gave it a beachhead in the fire apparatus industry — one on which it would build as demand returned. By 2016, state and local budgets had mostly recovered from the Great Recession. Demand for fire trucks went up, reaching 4,000-5,000 orders annually. That’s when AIP’s offers became too good to refuse. One by one, leading fire apparatus manufacturers around the country fell under AIP’s control: KME, a large, 70-year-old manufacturer in the Mid-Atlantic region that supplied engines to the Los Angeles Fire Department, was acquired in 2016. Ferrara, E-ONE’s direct competitor in the South, was acquired in 2017. Spartan and Smeal, two Midwest stalwarts, came into AIP’s fold in 2019. Ladder Tower, based out of Pennsylvania, was bought in 2020. Over the same decade, these were paired with acquisitions of a large portfolio of ambulance, bus, recreational, and other specialty vehicle manufacturers, which AIP ultimately bundled into a conglomerate holding company called the “REV Group.”

These acquisitions quickly transformed REV Group into one of — if not the — dominant manufacturer of fire trucks and ambulances in the United States. In 2017, even before its acquisitions of Spartan, Smeal, and Ladder Tower, REV Group told investors it controlled approximately 44% of annual fire trucks and ambulance sale. The first thing REV Group appears to have done with its newfound power is tamp down competition in the industry. Although REV Group executives initially made a show of preserving the independence of the Group’s subsidiary manufacturers and their dealers, they simultaneously disseminated unsubtle signals that aggressive — or “negative” — competition among subsidiaries would be frowned upon.

By 2021, REV Group stopped even pretending to support subsidiary independence. In September of that year, KME’s plants — which were important suppliers of fire trucks to California municipalities before KME’s acquisition in 2016 — were shut down pursuant to a new “platforming” and “channel management” strategy. A REV Group investor presentation around the same time showed that strategy called for REV Group’s subsidiaries to “[c]onverge on common designs that can be shared across brands,” and to use Spartan’s Metro Star chassis/cab as the “platform” for their offerings. It also called for the elimination of geographic overlaps between the marketing of its different fire-truck brands and dealers. The mask was officially off: REV Group’s fire apparatus operations were now officially “center-led,” with REV Group dictating and managing the execution of “margin improvement actions” across its subsidiaries.

The Aftermath

As a result of AIPs roll-up of fire truck and emergency vehicle manufacturers into the REV Group over the past decade, the overwhelming majority of the industry’s sales and capacity are now concentrated among three dominant manufacturers: REV Group, Oshkosh, and Rosenbauer. Out of roughly $3 billion in fire truck sales made in the United States annually, the available data suggests that REV Group captures around $1 billion (or 33%), Oshkosh takes around $750 million (or 25%), and Rosenbauer takes “only” $250 million (or 8%) — giving these dominant firms two-thirds of the national market, and undoubtedly even more market share in some regions of the country where fewer manufacturers operate. And the acquisition sprees do not appear to be slowing down: in 2021 and 2022, Oshkosh responded to REV Group’s roll-up by making acquisitions of its own, including Maxi-Metal in Canada and Boise Mobile Equipment in Idaho –– the latter being an important supplier of wildland firefighting apparatus to the California, Oregon, Idaho, and Montana markets.

In conjunction with this consolidation, we’ve also seen a reduction in industry capacity from actions like REV Group’s shutdown of its KME plants. What is curious about that shutdown in particular is that it came in the face of rapidly increasing demand: As federal COVID-19 assistance filled state and local government coffers, fire truck orders grew approximately 50% from 2020 to 2022, reaching roughly 6,000 for the first time since 2008. Since then, order activity has remained strong, hovering between 5,500 and 6,500. As a result, both REV Group and Oshkosh have seen their backlogs skyrocket over the last two years. The latest available data shows that REV Group had a $4.2 billion backlog on fire and emergency vehicle orders in the United States as of October 2024, while Oshkosh had a $5.3 billion backlog on fire apparatus orders globally as of June 2024. And yet, neither company appears to be making significant investments in additional manufacturing capacity to rapidly cut down its backlog — or even concerned that multi-year delays in delivery might lead customers to bail on their orders.

Indeed, it appears that the dominant manufacturers have managed to turn their delivery failures into financial advantage. Using the purported difficulty of projecting material costs over a 2-3-year lead time as an excuse, they have imposed “floating” price clauses onto their customers — allowing them to increase the final price of a rig when it finally goes into production. In effect, the bottleneck in fire truck production that REV Group, Oshkosh, and to a lesser extent, Rosenbauer created with their M&A and operating strategies are giving them even more bargaining power vis-à-vis fire departments. Not only that but, according to REV Group’s SEC reports, the twenty-four-month backlog it is running is literally enhancing its value to shareholders — AIP being the largest among them — by giving the company “strong visibility into future net sales.”

Altogether, these facts paint an alarming picture. A handful of financiers have been allowed to transform a critical, once-vibrant industry into a rent-extracting racket. By consolidating the fire-apparatus industry through serial acquisitions, REV Group and Oshkosh appear to have consolidated the power to raise prices and throttle output of lifesaving equipment with impunity. Using that power, they have imposed years-long delays in delivery on their customers and exorbitant payment terms that will enable them to pass on production costs almost at will — leaving them little incentive to invest in new capacity or greater efficiency to relieve the bottleneck in the fire truck supply chain. They can reap rising stock prices and “attractive levels of return on invested capital” for their shareholders just by sitting pretty — all while fire departments across the country struggle to replace aging fire trucks, have to spend more on maintenance for older vehicles, and are forced to shirk on other budget items, like firefighter salaries, to get what equipment they can. But the ultimate harm of AIP’s monopolization of the fire apparatus industry, of course, is not something that can be measured on a spreadsheet. It’s a hundred fire trucks sitting out of commission while a disastrous wildfire burns whole neighborhoods of Los Angeles to the ground. It’s lives lost, homes destroyed, communities gutted.

Where Do We Go From Here

While AIP’s consolidation of economic power over fire truck manufacturing is appalling, it is not some unsolvable, intractable problem we just have to live with. State and federal antitrust laws already prohibit the kind of monopolistic roll-up that AIP perpetrated — they just need to be enforced. State AGs can bring lawsuits to force REV Group to divest the manufacturers it illegally acquired and to pay damages to fire departments for the harm that its (attempted) monopolization of the fire-truck industry has caused. Fire departments and other fire-apparatus purchasers can bring their own lawsuits to do the same. So can the FTC and the DOJ’s Antitrust Division. If state legislators or members of Congress want to pave the way for such lawsuits, they can launch their own investigations into the fire apparatus industry. And if anyone wants guidance on what a lawsuit against AIP could look like, Lina Khan left us a roadmap just before she stepped down from the FTC last week — when she sued private-equity giant Welsh Carson for rolling up Texas anesthesiology practices to drive up the price of anesthesia services to Texas patients.

We have all the tools we need to check AIP’s greed and abuse and restructure the fire-truck industry so it serves the public interest. The only question is whether our political leaders have the will.

Thanks for reading. Send me tips on weird monopolies, stories I’ve missed, or comments by clicking on the title of this newsletter. Or if you work for or adjacent to a monopoly and have interesting confidential stuff to share, go ahead and do that. If you liked this issue of BIG, you can sign up here for more issues of BIG, a newsletter on how to restore fair commerce, innovation and democracy. If you really liked it, read my book, Goliath: The 100-Year War Between Monopoly Power and Democracy.

cheers,

Matt Stoller

187
True honestly (hexbear.net)
54
submitted 2 months ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/games@hexbear.net

The creators of the project seem to lean a bit lefty. The developer likes to say this about themselves:

located on the unceded, ancestral, and occupied traditional lands of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Səl̓ílwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh), and Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) Nations of the Coast Salish peoples

As far as I can tell, the game is about generational trauma and teens dealing with their parents' unprocessed grief. It deals with children of diaspora parents fitting in to the new host country. (Don't @ me if I'm wrong, I couldn't get far in the game).

One thing that hits me hard is "why fucking choose the Hong Kong diaspora?". As Canadians, they had a fuck-ton of diaspora communities to choose from. Klanada has a rich history of indigenous genocide. They could have chosen Palestinians or Iraqis, war refugees from Afghanistan, Iraq, Yemen, S. America, etc. But they needed to pick Hong Kong and do more social chauvinism. And why am I especially annoyed that they'd showcase teens kids of the Hong Kong diaspora.

It's mathematically impossible to be a teen kid of the Hong Kong diaspora

Even if one swallowed all the VOA shit about Hong Kong, forgot about the British flags flows at demos and sinophobia being thrown around, they're still writing a game about an impossible demographic.

I think we all know what would happen if the devs made a game in Canada about the diaspora from Chile or Syria: chuds would absolutely revolt and there'd be truck convoys heading their ways. So libs are gonna play this game and support the US military bases in the Pacific just a bit more. Good job, fucking liberals.

37
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

Some obvious examples

  • the holodeck gets a fatal software error and people are stuck in a classic novel
  • a shuttle breaks down and crashes into a habitable planet
  • the federation loses a space battle, but thankfully there's some space jungle (nebula, asteroid field, etc) to hide out in, thankfully within sub light distances
70

This book changed my life and my relationships. I used to tolerate friendships with people who are borderline shitty to me. Eventually I learned that's just what my baseline was.

Reading this book was like discovering Marxism, anti-imperialism, feminism, veganism, etc*. It describes something that was always there, but I lacked the basic analysis to even perceive it. And now that I see it, I can't unsee it.

I definitely don't hate my parents. They weren't evil. They just didn't have the tools to be individual caretakers. Clearly there's a lot of social and cultural problems that led to my parents just being really distant, middle-class aspiring Westoids.

*I'm sorry to even compare the book with left movements. The book is not leftist.

Article TextA decade after it was published, the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” is surging in popularity and making people rethink their family dynamic.

A woman in glasses with her hair pulled to the top of her head looks over a book that she is holding open. There is a caption at the top of the photo that says “They may be characterized as ‘old souls.’” Amber Nuño is one of the many social media users who deeply connected with the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson.Credit...Amber Nuño

In 2021, Amber Nuño was living in Los Angeles, working at her dream job developing new products at Apple, making six figures and driving a nice car. On the surface, her life looked perfect, but she still felt deeply unsatisfied for reasons she couldn’t understand.

“I felt like I should be way more appreciative,” Ms. Nuño said in an interview. “I should be happier. Why am I not happy?”

While browsing Amazon one evening, she came across the self-help book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents,” by Lindsay Gibson, and decided to start reading it. A few pages in, it hit her: Ms. Nuño, who was living with her mother at the time, realized she was unhappy “because of the way the relationship with my parents was so strained.”

With the help of a therapist, Ms. Nuño began diving deeper into the book, and noticed more and more parallels between what Dr. Gibson described and her own experiences.

Published in 2015 by New Harbinger Publications, a small press in Oakland, Calif., the book is an attempt to help readers understand strategies for better dealing with parents whom Dr. Gibson deems “emotionally immature” — those who refuse to validate their children’s feelings and intuition, have difficulty regulating their emotions and may be reactive, inconsistent and lacking in empathy or awareness.

In Dr. Gibson’s research, this kind of parent-child dynamic tends to lead children to grow into adults who are emotionally shut down, lack confidence and tend to isolate.

“This book helped me rationalize and kind of observe my mother a little more neutrally,” Ms. Nuño said. “It gives you those ideas of how to observe more neutrally and objectively versus being stuck in the dynamics of it all, getting triggered and upset.”

Not long after she started reading the book, Ms. Nuño moved out of her mother’s house and into her own apartment and recorded a TikTok video about the book, which she said made her question her whole life. As other fans of the book began to fill her comments section, Ms. Nuño realized she wasn’t alone.

“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” has become one of the most popular self-help books regarding parent-child relationships, selling more than 1.2 million copies and spending six weeks on the New York Times best-seller list last summer. And though it was published nearly a decade ago, and was originally marketed to psychologists, it has recently found a surprising community of fans on social media, who talk about how the book has fundamentally altered their view of parental relationships. Image The book cover for “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents.” It shows paper cutouts of a family on a tabletop. The book, which was originally marketed to psychologists, has sold more than 1.2 million copies thanks to Dr. Gibson’s popularity on TikTok.Credit...New Harbinger Publications

Clips of people reading passages of the book receive millions of views on TikTok, and the title has become so ubiquitous online that it got the meme treatment and was on the “Want to Read” list on a Goodreads page that appears to have belonged to Luigi Mangione, a man who has been charged with murder in the killing of the chief executive of UnitedHealthcare.

The book’s rising popularity comes at a time when young people may be feeling especially estranged from their families — politically, emotionally, generationally — and are searching for answers to explain why.

“It caught the wave,” Dr. Gibson said in a recent interview about the book’s surge in popularity. “There has been a swell building on this, giving people permission to pay attention to their internal experience. And I think that my book came along at a time when people were open to really reassessing their interpersonal realities.”

“People are no longer willing to have somebody invalidate what they know deep down,” she added, “and when they find a book or a way of thinking that confirms something that they knew, it’s a paradigm shift, and it’s life-changing.”

Dr. Gibson’s publisher confirmed that sales have spiked since 2020, with the largest volume occurring in 2023, “thanks to Gibson’s fans on TikTok.”

The book is a result of Dr. Gibson’s almost 30 years of work as a clinical psychologist, during which she noticed a strange pattern among her patients, many of whom came to her for help improving their relationships with their parents. Though her clients were willing to be fair, insightful and introspective, she said, their parents were not.

“They were dealing with these people who didn’t self-reflect, who were extremely egocentric, who just had very little empathy for what my client was going through,” Dr. Gibson said. “They would deny problems and refuse to communicate, and then they would expect my client to build up their self-esteem and emotionally stabilize them.”

For Dr. Gibson, the conclusion was obvious.

“Wait a minute,” she realized. “All the wrong people are in therapy.”

When she began using this framework in her sessions with clients, “it was a very, very helpful concept for them,” she said. “Like, Well, maybe I’m reacting normally to what is poor treatment from people who can’t be empathic or considerate of me as another human being — and that is a paradigm shift. When that happened, my client really began to get their self-confidence back. They began to know themselves better. And they really got released from this fear and shame and guilt and self-doubt that they had trying to figure out how to handle these very difficult people.”

“It caught the wave,” Dr. Gibson said in a recent interview about the book’s surge in popularity. “There has been a swell building on this, giving people permission to pay attention to their internal experience.”Credit...New Harbinger Publications

In short, Dr. Gibson’s book gave them permission to say: It’s not me; it’s them.

Of course, not everyone has emotionally immature parents, though a cursory glimpse of conversations about the book on social media might have you thinking otherwise.

“I was just shocked,” Ms. Nuño said when she realized just how many people on TikTok seemed to relate to the book. “I know there are lots of parents and dynamics out there that maybe aren’t the healthiest, but I didn’t realize so many of us were dealing with people who aren’t working through their own traumas, and then raising adults to be living in the same cycles.”

Now, a growing number of people — including Ms. Nuño — have chosen to go “no contact” with their parents, a phenomenon that the clinical psychologist and author Joshua Coleman told The New Yorker was because of “changing notions of what constitutes harmful, abusive, traumatizing or neglectful behavior.” His book “Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict” could be seen as the foil to Dr. Gibson’s. One chapter is given the slightly mocking subhead “My Therapist Says You’re a Narcissist” and argues that “therapists’ perspectives often uncritically reflect the biases, vogues and fads of the culture in which we live.”

Dr. Gibson doesn’t believe those arguments hold water.

“The idea that you create a syndrome, and then everybody starts coming down with it — I think it’s erroneous in this situation,” she said.

“I don’t think it’s more widespread now,” Dr. Gibson said. “All you have to do is look at the history of the world. All you have to do is read the news. That emotional immaturity, the impulsivity, the lack of regard for other people’s feelings, the egocentrism, the lack of self-reflection: It’s rampant, it’s what starts wars, it’s what causes conflicts.”

For people like Ms. Nuño, the book has been a lifeline.

“I found community,” she said of the others online who also connected with the book. “For the longest time I felt like, Wow, I really don’t like my parents. I didn’t love them in the way people did, and it was because of how they treated me. And I felt like that was taboo my entire life. But with all the comments of support I started to feel like, Wow, I’m not the only one out there who feels really complicated about their parents.”

43
submitted 3 months ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/vegan@hexbear.net

No one:

Non indigenous non-vegans: I can't stand it when vegans attack indigenous peoples.

OK, I get it. Vegans that pick on indigenous suck and should be called out. I've seen randos post on social media some bad takes. I'm not denying that it exists. If a vegan makes a bad point on indigenous topics and a carnist wants to jump in, I personally am not going to complain.

But the sheer number of times that I've seen a carnist derail a discussion on slaughterhouses. Like if no one is here mentioning indigenous people, it's pretty fucking sad and gross for you to do it. Is there nothing more creepy than using indigenous people to defend your treat privileges?

I just wish there was some real pushback for people doing this, because it's some real reactionary bullshit.

117
submitted 3 months ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/games@hexbear.net

I love Hitman but damn the fucking interface.

26
submitted 3 months ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/vegan@hexbear.net

I've had this IRL discussion too many times, where the non-veg person says that a lack of meat affects their sleep, energy level, digestion, etc. I'm not a dickhead, and I don't argue with people's lived experience, even if it feels very sus.

I've done a good faith search for evidence of how certain people might have negative health effects from not eating meat, and nothing turns up. (Short of just having a bad veg diet) Maybe I'm missing something. It's just frustrating how often people use this as an excuse, and they're often anti-vegan in their wider ideology.

1
submitted 4 months ago by ButtBidet@hexbear.net to c/videos@hexbear.net
39

It was down for months. Maybe Twitter will be usable again.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 73 points 4 months ago

Somehow I doubt that we'll do nation blaming, like "China virus", as we did with COVID. This will just be "well nothing could have prevented it".

Also this vegan wants to remind you all that BOTH pandemics came from commercial animal consumption.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 77 points 7 months ago

From what people were saying on Twitter, you can't get a doctor's exception. You gotta convince the cop that you need it for health reasons. I'm sure that will go well.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 82 points 8 months ago

I'm here to point out that mainstream social media (FB, IG, Twitter) stopped filtering out most Islamophobia long ago. Boris Johnson openly spouted Islamophobia while the capitalist press obsessed over Corbyn's not saying anything anti-semetic ever. Capital allowed and probably wanted this shit to happen for a long time.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 88 points 8 months ago

My mommy black. My daddy black.

Is that what he thinks black people sound like?

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 67 points 9 months ago

The anti MAGA made up for a more boring season IMHO. I don't love that the CIA are objectively the good guys now.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 84 points 11 months ago

I'm so ootl, does the CIA just pay these people to have the worst viewpoints ever and say they're ML?

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 73 points 1 year ago

"I don't get it. People are out and about, like the war is somewhere far away. But this is a full-scale invasion, and it's like people still don't care," Pavlo says.

I wish they could employ this level of urgency for climate change or COVID, not for a regional conflict with a majority Russian population.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 74 points 2 years ago

It is a complicated issue tho. Some transphobes deserve re-education camps, while others need to get the wall.

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 68 points 2 years ago

Hexbear gamers, explain yourself!

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 102 points 2 years ago

I can only imagine the number of dead and wounded Ukrainian soldiers. This didn't need to happen.

My friend's Ukrainian husband just got out, but he's still in some sort of family visa limbo. He's story from the last two years is just trauma laden with trauma.

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ButtBidet

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