161
Thieving (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world
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[-] gac11@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

"Khajiit has wares, if you have coin."

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

No. He didn't steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

That's a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he's right. If you're a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That's usually me.

[-] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I'd give them a present lol probably one I'd let cool for some time too, so it's not too hot for them.

I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn't put it past them to snag it haha. My mom's cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

Edit: "if" not "of"

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y'know, kill you with bacteria.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we're so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

For some reason, I'm reading this in John Oliver's voice.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

"Quick, let me in, they're right on my tail!"

[-] Aimeeloulm@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago

You almost had me believing this unti I remembered he had a sausage in his mouth, so how could he talk :o/

[-] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 2 points 1 month ago

The Garfield way, of course.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

i'm very confused what the slash under the emote means, is it dabbing?

[-] btr_fan87@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Maybe the o is a nose and the slash is the mouth? Like how ":-)" uses three characters.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

NextDoor doesn't know how to log on... yet.

[-] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

Legend.

[-] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago
[-] qisope@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

That's what I said, but with more furor.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it's paw xD

[-] Screamium@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[-] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Yeah, no need to censor the word "asshole".

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can't arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

[-] ErrorCode@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Good kitty!

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 1 month ago

They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!

[-] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago
[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

[-] dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 month ago

Then there's me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He's probably afraid of humans.

[-] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 month ago
[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

There's no collar on the cat, that's very likely.

In other word oop have good neighbour.

[-] glitch1985@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago
[-] kikutwo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

How was it?

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

So? How was it?

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

it's polite to bring something to a potluck

[-] floo@retrolemmy.com 1 points 1 month ago

Good kitty!

[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

You should send them to school with the orcas.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
161 points (100.0% liked)

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