160
Thieving (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to c/cat@lemmy.world
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[-] gac11@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

"Khajiit has wares, if you have coin."

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

No. He didn't steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

That's a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he's right. If you're a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That's usually me.

[-] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I'd give them a present lol probably one I'd let cool for some time too, so it's not too hot for them.

I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn't put it past them to snag it haha. My mom's cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

Edit: "if" not "of"

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y'know, kill you with bacteria.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we're so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

For some reason, I'm reading this in John Oliver's voice.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

"Quick, let me in, they're right on my tail!"

[-] Aimeeloulm@feddit.uk 5 points 2 weeks ago

You almost had me believing this unti I remembered he had a sausage in his mouth, so how could he talk :o/

[-] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 2 points 2 weeks ago

The Garfield way, of course.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

i'm very confused what the slash under the emote means, is it dabbing?

[-] btr_fan87@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Maybe the o is a nose and the slash is the mouth? Like how ":-)" uses three characters.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago

NextDoor doesn't know how to log on... yet.

[-] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

Legend.

[-] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] qisope@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

That's what I said, but with more furor.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago

A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it's paw xD

[-] Screamium@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, no need to censor the word "asshole".

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can't arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

[-] ErrorCode@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Good kitty!

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 2 weeks ago

They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!

[-] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

[-] dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Then there's me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He's probably afraid of humans.

[-] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

There's no collar on the cat, that's very likely.

In other word oop have good neighbour.

[-] glitch1985@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago
[-] kikutwo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

How was it?

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

So? How was it?

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

it's polite to bring something to a potluck

[-] floo@retrolemmy.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Good kitty!

[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

You should send them to school with the orcas.

this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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