This was me during my youth - quiet, polite and serene on the outside, white noise on the inside. Teachers couldn't work out why I excelled at some things and failed totally at others, they thought I was smart but not applying myself to my work. It took me til my 30s to get a diagnosis.
"a pleasure to have in class, but needs to apply herself"
"Has a lot of potential" got used a lot
"He easily deserves a B but he could get an A if he applied himself. I'll just give him a C so he tries harder"
"It's no use, I push him as far as I could"
I got that a lot, along with "has poor impulse control"... Bitches, if you only knew what impulses I was controlling...
Replace her with him and one of my school reports literally had that word for word lmfao.
My partner got that on hers.
I got a mix of that and "a pleasure to have in class, but needs to work on not distracting others"
How I went 31 years with no raised eyebrows is funny to me, so many red flags attributed to being "quirky" or "eccentric".
How often do you have a feeling that there's too much information to convey right now, and speech/mouth feels like a bottleneck not capable of delivering all that needs to be said in their really specific details?
Now combine that with impatient people who don't give other people enough time to process information or enough time to properly explain something.
That's my whole family dynamic right there. Pure anxiety fuel :D
yes.
I've heard the inattentive type is more common among women. My wife definitely fits the description. People usually mistake the blank stare for intimidation, but I know better. (っ˘з(•_• )
The blank stare isn’t really indicative of daydreaming or thinking about a problem.
Nope - just nothing at all going on in there for a blissfully quiet few minutes.
It definitely looks like RBF though. People always used to think I was mad!
This is why my parents dismissed my childhood diagnosis of ADHD. My older brother has the hyperactive type, but I am more of the inattentive type.
The outside is calm, but the inside is a tornado of thoughts that doesn't cease.
That definition always bothered me a lot... The hyperactivity is always there, but it's either internalised, externalised and sometimes it's both. It's the intensity of it that can vary a lot from person to person.
"I have all this energy inside and I can't use it how I want!!"
"I have all this energy outside and it's using me how it wants!!"
That’s why they don’t use “types” anymore, they call them presentations. Any person with ADHD may present as more inattentive or more hyperactive depending on circumstances, and, like you said, some elements of both are always there.
I'm the inattentive type. My youngest kid is the hyper type.
We clash soooo much. His body does what my mind does.
I have 2 settings. Highly engaging radio talk show host who ~~won't~~ can't shut up, or "wallflower mode, pls don't notice me or I may burst into tears /flames."
Yes, me too. "Did you know?" and "Don't even look at me!" And nothing in between, lol
When I was a kid, it was just called ADD, attention deficit disorder. Then at some point they slipped the hyperactive in there, and it made everyone think that it's just energetic kids. Then you got pushback in the media saying it's just excusing people not wanting to discipline their kids. And that's why I never even considered that I might have it until after I flunked out of college.
Same, 31 now and I think I have a mild version of the inattentive type. My wife opened my mind to it, I won't go for a diagnosis but having resources to help me improve and deal better with it are great.
What's probably even more confusing is when the quiet turns loud suddenly because the topic has shifted to something interesting.
Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD. I tried to get an evaluation on the recommendation of my therapist once and all they did was offer me meds directly.
I can totally relate to the quiet variant, I'm very nonverbal and always lost in thought. But when it comes time to speak I usually only have a couple words to say. I'm only ever talkative through text when I have time to organize thoughts.
Are you in the US? And if so did your therapist offer to give you a screener? It's a self-evaluation that you can do, then you try meds and if the meds are effective you probably have ADHD. I wasn't given any kind of initial evaluation beyond that. And also there are three main presentations of ADHD - inattentive (lost in thought), hyperactive-impulsive (what the media focused on), and combined. Each individual's presentation will be unique though.
I am in the US and my therapist didn't offer any screening but gave a referral, which basically amounted to a doctor coming in and asking why I thought I had ADHD (to which I answered several reasons including scattered thoughts) to which the response was: "you think you have ADHD because you're forgetful?" And that tbh made me feel pretty defeated. They offered a prescription and I said no and that was that :/
I have actually had medication once without any medical guidance when I was a kid in middle school (maybe 7 or 8 years prior to therapy when I found a loose concerta pill) and I did all my homework that day. I remember being blown away by how I was able to focus, and the problems seemed so much more satisfying to do. Medication probably would help me a lot but I was raised by psychiatrist parents who distrust psychiatric medication and kind of brainwashed us to not get any diagnoses or medication so it's kind of hard to get over the fear that they've instilled in us even though I've already tried it and nothing bad happened. I definitely resent them for that
yes that sounds like inattentive type adhd, its the spacey daydreamy type, and fun fact, as its less disruptive its less likely to be diagnosed and funner fact its much more common in girls which contributes to the
Gotta say I really appreciate you getting distracted by something more interesting halfway through
yeah I couldn't figure out how to name the thing at the end of the sentence so i just gave up and trusted yall would get it
My fiancé has combined type nominally, but other than racing thoughts and some stimming, he's definitely the quiet type. I would say that's probably the case for many (most even?) AuDHD people, as autism doesn't usually go hand in hand with the endless social battery that the ADHD stereotype portrays.
Sounds like me too, and I also am AuDHD.
Women tend to exhibit inattentive ADHD more frequently than men. This is part of why boys are 16x more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD. It's because women and girls don't fit the traditional media representation of what ADHD looks like, and more parents become oblivious to the fact that their child needs help.
Is it weird that I kinda have both?
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 25 , and I’ve been like 90% quiet most of my adult life. However I recall every now and then when a memory hits, I used to be suuuper energetic, talkative and all over the place overall as a kid.
Since my family thought that getting me mental help = being put into an asylum for life, I never got assessed and was instead chastised/shamed into not talking (and in parallel the regular kids would mock and tease in the school system) so I’ve sorta just got quiet which just got me more inwardly chaotic
Not at all weird.
ADHD is an executive dysfunction. It manifests differently at different times or in different moods or situations.
Sometimes I can’t stop talking. Other times I can’t start talking.
They changed the definition from types to presentations recently, because no person with ADHD is exclusively one or the other. Our presentations depend on the day and circumstances.
I'm energetic and extremely talkative when talking about the things I'm currently into. All other times I'm exactly this.
I was sort of like this, but further inquiry into my parents and friends and classmates it was more:
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Why won't you shut up?"
For number 1: lol follow a train of thought?
For number2: Train has left the station at full speed near instant acceleration
The neat part of the Internet is having communities like this explain things I've been feeling my whole life, but couldn't quite find the words to describe it.
Figuring out that I have ADHD (4 years ago at age 33) made a lot of things make sense.
Frick. I should really get a proper diagnosis. Anyone here found out they had ADHD well into adulthood? What changed?
I was in my late thirties when I finally had my diagnosis. It gave me a surprising amount of peace knowing that all of those things I've struggled with all my life was in fact a condition/a disability and not just me not trying hard enough. Having a professional say it was not all my own fault did mean a lot.
Getting diagnosed also meant I could get drugs. Those helped a lot too. They're not miracle cures that makes it all go away but they have really made a difference.
Thanks!
Just got diagnosed last week, and I am well into adulthood.
It's a bit early yet. I am on starter meds and have a follow up appointment in a few weeks. Already though I have noticed impulse control is much better. It's like I have a time machine that's given me a few extra moments to respond to stimuli. Anxiety levels are also way down, and I don't feel the frazzled need to jump to the next thing, trying to get a dopamine fix.
Trying now to pursue a 3 prong style of treatment: medication, forming new habits, and mindfulness/observation. I am doing mood journaling to try to capture my experience.
I have at least two concurrent trains of thought running simultaneously at all times; I don't have the energy to be outwardly expressive.
I guess I’m bipolar ADHD. In my small group I’m off the wall, random, crude, funny, no filter. In a larger group of people I don’t know my friends wonder if I’m sick. I guess this is what you get when you cross introvert with ADHD.
I've only ever seen 1 person with something like the "energetic" ADHD...
I thought that’s what ADD was comopared to ADHD.
For whatever reason, they combined both into ADHD and ADD is no longer a diagnosis.
Reading self-diagnosis checklists and articles (for entertainment purposes only, don't self-diagnose, etc), I see an enormous overlap between ADHD symptoms and autism.
What would make the distinction?
..worth noting, 40-70% of patients with autism experience significant symptoms of adhd. source*
*am unfamiliar w/ this institution or their services, but the info seemed good >.<
It’s very challenging. It mostly comes down to which symptoms in the constellation are having the largest negative impact to the life of the person, as well as how they respond to different treatments. You really need the help of a doctor to navigate the whole situation.
Literally me
The lighter side of ADHD
