This is a quote from a horror story. I'm annoyed that I can't seem to find it with a search, or remember the title or author. It's a good story. It goes on like this, iterating through more and more awful Nandos-based scenarios without ever losing the Chav speech patterns.
Hmm. Maybe the quote came first. There's a lot more hits for it than for the story.
Thank you, Laszlo.
wif...
And all this time I thought it was that one kick Will Osprey does.
Translation:
It is hard to explain my friend.
It is as if one day you'll be with your friends, browsing in JD Sports (sports shop) and you fancy a curry from the "curry club" menu at Wetherspoons (a nationwide chain of drinking establishments that serve "pub" style food).
However your friend who is male, called Callum, who is also an absolute legend and the epitome of banter (friendly and humerous conversation of a non-serious manner) will say "Brethren (an old fashioned way of referring to a friend you consider a brother) let's have a naughty Nandos (a chain restaurant that specialises in Peri Peri style chicken) instead"
Consequently you will think "Most excellent, let's go there and excel at the process of ordering and eating food"
What the hell does this say
It is as if one day you're in the mall, and you feel a little hungry for tikka masala, but your friend who is an absolute legend and your brother, asks if you want chicken tandoori instead and you say "haan let us eat it"
Realistically though JD sports is to a sports shop what Curries is to a PC store.
Sure they sell trainers but their selection is strictly fashion related, if you want actual quality you're better off going literally anywhere else, even Clarks.
Clarks are ace.
Unsolicited peer review time...
browsing in JD Sports (sports shop)
*trainer shop, let's be realistic
from the "curry club" menu
The Thursday specials, to be specific.
called Callum
*Calum
Brethren (an old fashioned way of referring to a friend you consider a brother)
This comes from Jamaican Patois, it's not just a memetic imitation of Early Modern English.
No further notes.
Nando's is a South African multinational fast casual restaurant chain that specialises in Portuguese flame-grilled, peri-peri style chicken. The name is derived from a nickname for the male given name Fernando in reference to one of the company's founders, as in Fernando's restaurant. Founded in Johannesburg in 1987.
I'm calling foul. There's no way an absolute ledge would call it "the Spoons". It's just "Spoons".
Not that I'd drink there, mind. Fucking Brexit Arms.
~~Are you a southerner by any chance?~~ Do you call it a bap, a roll? I've heard it called 'the spoons' when I was in Manchester (I'm French though, sorry about it. Proof: 'squiwwel')
Haven't stepped foot in one since 2016, with one exception where I went for a piss and run, can't say being there brought back fond memories, bit depressing if anything.
... but there's only one spoons in their locality
There’s only one Spoons near me. It’s called Spoons.
and what if there were two, but only one good one. What would that be called?
As @silasmariner@programming.dev has already noted, there's no such thing as a "good Spoons". They're all McDonald's for beer.
But if you need to differentiate between two, you'd use their location.
That is: "Meet at Spoons by the station for a pre-town sesh, yeah?"
Or: "We were in Spoons next to Nandos. We'd had some cheeky piri piri and Damo went and shat himself when he necked a Stella! Absolute scenes, mate. Pure bants."
All wrong. The spoons is where the ledge stuff once happened.
The good spoons.
It's a purely hypothetical question though. Spoons are all trash
There's one in Newcastle where downstairs is trash and the upstairs is merely crap. They do weddings, if you want the most depressing wedding in the world.
I know the one. Nice staircase, but I'm not the target market for the over-50's disco night
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.