107

Lol, lmao even.

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[-] BioWarfarePosadist@hexbear.net 62 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Join. Refuse to arrest anyone, be as incompetent as the federal union will let you be. Actively screw up the chain of evidence, and forget to lock van doors after a raid. Then quit as soon as you can. Burn the poster as tinder to burn down the whole ICE office.

gigachad

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 42 points 5 days ago

Patrol grocery stores and arrest anyone with an Israeli accent buying Sabra hummus.

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 23 points 5 days ago

arrest anyone with an Israeli accent

This is racist against Themyscirans (all of whom can act) but were forced to emulate Princess Diana's voice (who cannot).

[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 37 points 5 days ago

I had a buddy back in the day who moved out far from family/support network and when he realized he needed to come back and didn't have the resources, he joined the army and deliberately failed to finish training CW mental health/self harm

spoiler(IIRC, he told his superiors that he was depressed and at risk of suicide)

Eventually he got discharged and they sent him home (home home, not the place he'd made a mistake by moving to). To be fair he was actually depressed most of the time, he might have been being honest with them. I just always thought it was badass that he effectively scammed the US military into a cross country flight.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago

IIRC it's pretty straightforward to bail on the military prior to completing basic training. I think it's a "failure to adapt" designation or something. Kind of an "agree to disagree" kind of thing. It's a lot harder to get a discharge after you get a permanent assignment

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

he effectively scammed the US military into a cross country flight.

And they would have paid him for the time he was there, but they would have made him work for a certain amount of days picking up garbage and stuff before letting him leave.

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 32 points 5 days ago

Fifth column but for the browshirts, could work but you might end up getting soap-socked by your coworkers.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 35 points 5 days ago

Looks like the 50k signing bonus is for previously retired ICE to come back. Newbies get less.

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

Join up, quit after a week, then come back, then quit again, repeat. Bam, infinite money.

[-] TheWolfOfSouthEnd@lemmygrad.ml 34 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I’m hugely confused. I thought USAians were against student loan forgiveness?

/s

Edit; added a word.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 39 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

It's a tool used to entice poor people into joining the imperial oppression machine. That's why free college for everyone won't happen - why would anyone risk their lives for free college when they can get it without murdering poor brown people?

[-] BioWarfarePosadist@hexbear.net 28 points 5 days ago

No, it's always been a given that you can have your college paid for by being a government goon

[-] TheWolfOfSouthEnd@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 5 days ago

Hence the sarcasm. Some people will say it’s free, but it’s very definitely got a cost.

[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago

what if they had 40k signing bonuses and they were given warhammer miniatures instead

[-] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 28 points 5 days ago

$40,000 in 40k miniatures? What are they going to do with two squads of Guardsmen and a single Marine?

[-] Tabitha@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago

I'm not personally in the position to do this, but what's the over/under on joining for the bonus, mostly just being a snitch to whoever locally needs to know to warn at others, dox coworkers, and maybe even doing a bit of light sabotage?

[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 30 points 5 days ago

Presumably they can take it back if you get fired "for cause" or whatever, but idk, seems like everything is getting sloppier so maybe not.

[-] Des@hexbear.net 32 points 5 days ago

i'd be more worried about being sniffed out by the overwhelming majority of chuds that will have already formed a cop gang

same way that "good cops" that want to "clean up" get quickly drummed out, beaten, killed, etc. you would have to go in with incredible discipline

[-] gueybana@hexbear.net 15 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I’d love to do this but this is a job for professional, militant leftists if anything positive were to come out of the endeavor.

[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago

Yeah, you don't wanna get Adrian Schoolcrafted

Yeah, I couldn't. I didn't fit in when I was in the military and didn't realize I was trans. Lot of highschool clique groups than some evolve into gangs, I got randomly jumped at my barracks one time. Idk why, but they seemed to have a radar that I wasn't one of them.

[-] IWW4@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago

If DHS structures it the same way the military does, the bonus will have an attached time in service requirement of say four years.

The recipient will get 1/4 every year for four years.

[-] IsThisLoss@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago

yes-honey-left fema funding pls

[-] BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net 19 points 5 days ago

Me joining ICE and then immediately sabotaging everything until I am fired:

spoiler

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago

In order to retain control, they need to make sure that the "enforcement class" continues to receive the benefits that the working class at large is denied. This has mainly been used with the army, but it'll be spread out into ICE which will probably become increasingly militarised over time (not saying they aren't already, just that they will be more militarised).

[-] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

Extremely good take.

The "enforcement class" expands where manufacturing jobs and the "service sector" recede. It might be as large as one fifth of the whole economy.

this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
107 points (100.0% liked)

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