Understanding why those platforms are bad is another layer of thought that most people aren't capable or willing to engage in.

These are just opinions, but here are the two I know about (I don't use WhatsApp)

Discord: It's not just you. You would have to get their other connections, all their servers, and all the connections from those servers to switch. Frankly speaking, Revolt isn't ready for that to happen. You are one person. I'm sorry, but if I have 1 friend vs. all of my servers and friends, I'm not going to make a meaningful change for the one person. And tbh I'm more likely to be the one than the many. What I would suggest is to try and put yourself between the two services, help to build the communities you want to see, then invite people over.

Instagram: Same issue as Discord. The fediverse doesn't have the variety of content, the wide range of users, or half the stuff to engage with.

Cory Doctorow refers to this as the Anatevka problem.

Because everyone else they know is there. If the people they follow and interact with moved to Mastodon or switched messengers to Signal, you’ll see how quickly they will move. It’s hard to convince someone to sign up or install a new app if it’s only you they’ll find there. I was able to switch my family over to Signal and they literally use it only for family group chats, because they don’t know anyone else who uses it. And they were a little easier to convince because they’re family. I won’t be able to convince people with less close ties to me like friends, acquaintances, and neighbors.

I had my wife and best friend using signal until they dropped support for sms. Switching between apps was too much for us.

Tech illiteracy is the biggest reason.

These days people dont hardly know what IRC or a router is/does, theyre not going to change to any other application unless its DEAD easy.

Also I despise discord UI and always have. I must just be old, but its sucks and is horribly designed. Now it has built in ads so it really pisses me off. At least most of my friends moved on from Snapchat (literal Spyware).

I think the way we are trying to make technology sound sophisticated and our refusal to reinvent language makes technology become much less accessible than what they should be.

It's hard to get people to care about things. I've gotten a couple people to switch to signal (which I hope is good), but I have one holdout who keeps saying "ill switch later". I don't understand why "take 3 minutes to install signal" can't be done right now, but I'm not a mess of depression, anxiety, and debt, so I've just been giving them gentle reminders every so often.

Chasing the hot new app that was created by some one-person dev team for "privacy" reasons is a little like chasing amy. You are looking for an ideal app that doesn't exist, so you can't really suggest a better alternative. Instead you are just nagging people for using discord or imessage even though those apps are perfectly fine for 99% of people. Even privacy focused people. imessaage specifically is great for privacy and unless you have strong evidence of an apple installed backdoor for the p2p imessage encryption I'd question why your are against it.

Yeah well imagine what it is when you are old yourself… having a majority of like aged friends and even older family… no one is ever leaving FB before they are ded :-/

I can't control my contacts. I can control what I do. I was personally getting annoyed enough with Discord that I uninstalled the thing and stopped visiting it on the web. My account still exists AFAIK. I didn't make a big production of it nor tell anyone; I simply left.

It was a bit of a sacrifice because I don't connect with an extremely rewarding community on there as much anymore. Thankfully they still host IRL meetups and I do go to those.

I'm opinionated about messaging apps but I don't try to convince anyone. Well, other than siblings and SOs. People who want to talk to me can find me on the apps I do hang out in. If they ask why I'm not on the big ones I will gladly tell them. But where they end up is their decision, not mine.