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[-] fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net 387 points 4 months ago

FWIW, she was cleared and her ex-wife charged with making false statements.

[-] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 177 points 4 months ago

This shouldn’t be omitted from the meme. Astronauts are some of the most level-minded people in this world, given the risks they face every moment.

I don’t think jealousy or insecurity would be a common occurrence given how busy they are.

[-] TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world 48 points 4 months ago

Actually, there was a high profile and notorious case of a female NASA astronaut and Naval officer named Lisa Nowak, who was placed on trail and convicted of felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges. This all stemmed from an affair she was having with a fellow astronaut named Bill Oefelein, who both of them were married to different people at the time.

When Bill decided to call the affair off and started to see another woman, an Air Force Captain named Colleen Shipman. Lisa had an emotional breakdown and after her own marriage had failed. Planned on possibly kidnapping Colleen. She was eventually arrested at Orlando International Airport that she had followed Colleen to. Besides the criminal convictions listed above, she was dismissed from NASA and demoted in rank and forcibly retired from the Navy.

[-] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 25 points 4 months ago

I don’t know man, this seems like an obvious case of alien body snatching. They just never learned to act like regular humans.

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 4 months ago

Don't forget about the part where she wore a diaper while driving so she wouldn't have to make any pit stops.

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[-] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 30 points 4 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Nowak

There are exceptions to the whole level minded thing.

[-] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 26 points 4 months ago

I know this is the poop drive without even opening the link.

[-] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Among other things.

[-] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Putting those diapers to good use

[-] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 6 points 4 months ago

Well she says she did not use them (I guess just shitting in place)

"She drove her husband's car 900 miles (1,400 km) from Houston, Texas, to Orlando, Florida, to confront Shipman. Early police reports stated that she wore Maximum Absorbency Garments during the trip, but she later denied this."

From Wikipedia, but it must be noted the trip was made by herself in such a short time that poop had to happen.

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[-] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 7 points 4 months ago

Yeah but what the hell am I supposed to do woth this novel drsft Lesbian Space Criminal Lovers now?

Why was I not told sooner the story was a lie???

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[-] Carl@hexbear.net 44 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"lesbians are accused in 100% of space crimes" is a much less fun statistic.

[-] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

Lesbians continue to flaunt their spotless space criminal record

[-] huf@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

i dont want to have to see them not do crimes, please do that in your own room

[-] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 months ago

The original statement is still vacuously true so your can keep saying it :D

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[-] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 77 points 4 months ago

Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Identity Theft doesn't quite have the same ring to it

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 39 points 4 months ago
[-] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Headlining this Friday night! With special guest Gay Zombie Super Soldiers! $10 at the door, 21 and up, doors open at 8pm.

[-] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 months ago

"Falgsith" for short

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[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 42 points 4 months ago

Your Honor, with all due respect, my client can only be put on trial by a space judge and a jury of her space peers

[-] booty@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

A jury of astronauts would be kind of fun if it were possible for them not to know each other already, but I don't think that's possible with the current number of astronauts

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[-] TomMasz@piefed.social 33 points 4 months ago

Is ISS network traffic monitored? Because if it is, this was a really dumb crime.

[-] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 66 points 4 months ago

To my understanding, she wasn't determined to have actually committed it, just was accused

[-] Cort@lemmy.world 38 points 4 months ago

Yup:

The claims were later found to be false, and McClain was cleared.[28] On April 7, 2020, Worden was indicted on two charges of making false statements.

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[-] jrubal1462@mander.xyz 9 points 4 months ago

Please tell me this entire thing wasn't an elaborate add for NordVPN.

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[-] mkwt@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

It's probably fully recorded. Everything in and out.

That way if there's a mishap it's possible to go back and reconstruct the entire sequence or to replay high fidelity simulations of the network traffic at the equipment to reproduce problems.

[-] snowsuit2654@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 months ago

Probably safe to assume that it is.

[-] Ajen@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago

Even without monitoring, it probably has a unique IP/subnet that shows the traffic came from the ISS. And the financial institution is definitely recording IPs.

[-] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 26 points 4 months ago
[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Yeah but she wasn't in space just had a space diaper.

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Distinction without a difference. If you're wearing the space diaper you're basically experiencing everything there is to experience about space.

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[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago

There's also an astronaut currently in jail for, I think, manslaughter? Killed someone while drunk driving? Question mark?

[-] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 6 points 4 months ago

Man, if you get run over by a rocket, even if the drivwr is drunk, I feel like its your own damn fault. Those suckers are huge.

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[-] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 4 months ago

I thought some of the Apollo astronauts were illegally enriching themselves by selling a service where they would take people's stuff to the moon in their private gear allowance, and then give it back.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago

The Apollo 15 crew got in trouble for something like that, postage stamps I think.

[-] BCBoy911@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 months ago

Smuggling moon rocks back to Earth to be sold on the black market is also pretty lucrative iirc.

[-] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

Didn't someone already commit theft in space?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago
[-] don@lemmy.ca 13 points 4 months ago

username checks out

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[-] lvnelrs@programming.dev 9 points 4 months ago

smash the patriachy by being the first criminal in space.

[-] recklessengagement@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Bringing "Be Gay Do Crime" to another level

[-] uss_entrepreneur@startrek.website 6 points 4 months ago

Is space international waters? Does anything go?

[-] UnmetPlayer@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ships in intl waters are still governed by the laws of their flag state. I don't see why this wouldn't also apply to the ISS as a US-flagged vessel

Edit: I assume the modules are flagged differently. I imagine Zvezda and the Soyuz's are flagged Russian, etc. or maybe the ISS is jointly flagged under US and Russian laws at the same time. Or the laws of the citizens home country is applied individually or something.

[-] uss_entrepreneur@startrek.website 6 points 4 months ago

Are you saying that the simpsons lied to me?

[-] locahosr443@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Lesbians... Those bitches be (statistically) crazy

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this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
928 points (97.7% liked)

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