621
submitted 2 months ago by ooli3@sopuli.xyz to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] robocall@lemmy.world 98 points 2 months ago

Breast milk is full of nutrients that a combat solider needs on the battlefield.

[-] funnyBunny@ani.social 41 points 2 months ago

The ideal American soldier is strong, hairless, and lactating.

[-] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 23 points 2 months ago
[-] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago

Age a few years before you try the internet again.

And yes breast milk has nutrients, that’s the point of it.

[-] 30p87@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

Username checks out.

[-] robdor@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 2 months ago

Jane Cobb needs mudders milk

[-] Lawnman23@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

When do we get to go to the shitty planet where I’m a hero? -Wash

[-] skisnow@lemmy.ca 89 points 2 months ago
[-] Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago

The fact that it's a picture of Jessica Simpson from the movie Private Valentine should tip some people off. Oddly enough they photoshopped the pic to change her name from Valentine to Lena and added nips lol

[-] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Nipples are the chicken of the breast

[-] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 2 months ago

Epic choice of stock photo here CNN people. The tiniest suggestion of visible nips.

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So it wasn't just me or my eyes.

edit: zoom in, it's more than a tiny suggestion

[-] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 53 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Movie is Private Valentine, Actress is Jessica Simpson. There's more gratifying media of her online if that's what you're looking for

Edit: Oh, and it seems those nipple bumps are not in the original screenshots.

[-] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 14 points 2 months ago

The only thing I can say about Jessica Simpson is that she might like mascara a bit too much, but ey, if she wants to keep up with her internal goth, who am I to criticize?

[-] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

While I'm aware that she doesn't do her make-up for my benefit, after a quick google I have to say I find her appearance kind of disturbing in an uncanny valley kind of way.

She has very striking features and a super strong jaw-line.

[-] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 months ago

Media of her in a uniform like that though??

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago

Not an actual CNN article, and the image is from a Jessica Simpson movie.

[-] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

Movie is Private Valentine, actress Jessica Simpson. There's more gratifying media of her online if that's what you're looking for

[-] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 30 points 2 months ago
[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Jim Carrey in that scene of “Me, Myself and Irene” NSFW

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 2 months ago

twice the watermark to indicate his double personality

[-] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 months ago
[-] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 15 points 2 months ago

Oi! Omlandah! You cunt!

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 27 points 2 months ago

Dwarf Fortress. Yes, my 1st axe has a newborn. And yes she’s going to take it with her into the field of battle.

[-] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Knowing dwarf fortress the baby is going to.some how manage to survive a forgotten beast with webs AND manage to kill it.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 months ago

Rimworld has taught me children are useful for loading artillery.

[-] jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

it just taught me the value of hostages (as organ doners)

[-] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Found the Canadian

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

I love that using prisoners as a blood farm is a vanilla option in Rimworld lol

[-] whaleross@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

I'd assume it would improve morale.

[-] village604@adultswim.fan 2 points 2 months ago

Not for the women who get raped by other soldiers because of it.

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 2 points 2 months ago

They're getting raped now anyway.

So this particular issue is not relevant to the military's rape problems.

[-] fluxion@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

If you had a kid on the battlefield, then it's basically a miracle you have lactating military women that can handle their nutritional needs without digging into company rations

[-] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 9 points 2 months ago

Well it would be rather irresponsible to leave the kids at home alone.

[-] wheezy@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Are we sure she wasn't working with ICE before this photo was taken?

[-] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
[-] wheezy@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No one is talking about immigration and customs enforcement here.

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
621 points (95.7% liked)

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