For the first ~thirty years of my life the explanation for "why didn't you do the thing?" that made the most sense to me was that the thing must not be worth doing, so it was everyone else's problem for wanting it done in the first place.

Many people in positions of authority over me disagreed with this interpretation.

I had so much trouble with this as a kid.

"Why did you poke a hole in my Styrofoam cup and let the drink leak all over the table?" "I honestly don't know."

Like in hindsight it makes sense that this action had a consequence, but I have no explanation for why 10 year old me didn't think this through, or why I would do it in the first place.

Adults always thought I was being difficult but I was so confused :(

I got diagnosed at 45. Dear god it was a relief to find out there's a neurological reason why being forced to/forcing myself to clean my spaces was something I did with massive effort, in tears, through the power of self-hatred, for the first 25-30 years of my life.

Also so much getting things stuck in other things.

Hell, even with a diagnosis, I still have to make up excuses for people without ADHD who don't seem to grasp that there's more to it than just forgetfulness. This is an issue even among friends and family.

A diagnosis doesn't help this problem

I answer honestly. "I intended to do it, but I could not force myself to do it."

When I am having a bad pain day, I don't make anything else up either. It makes little sense to answer "why didn't you go up the stairs?" with anything other than "My legs hurt so bad I can barely walk," so why make something up for ADHD?

And then get yelled at for "making excuses" trying to justify why you did the thing you did or didn't do, and end up just giving up trying because you know they'll never listen or understand anyway.

We are all in agreement that what I did was very weird.

I just got officially diagnosed at 28 on Friday and I'm so happy I won't have to do this anymore

The hidden burden of undiagnosed ~~ADHD~~ [insert condition] is constantly needing to invent excuses in an attempt to explain or justify behavior that you don't even understand yourself.

FTFY. 🤌🏼

In healing from my own ADHD-related trauma, I’ve learned that “I’m not interested” is often the actual reason and that there are coping strategies for making this the case.

In parenting my ADHD-riddled children, I’ve realized that “I’m not interested” is also not a panacea and sometimes no amount of coping will make you interested in certain things

My brain isn't working with this. I can almost always find the reason. Is this because of the AuADHD ducks in my brain being aware of each other and the other always points the shit out and they get in another argument and my brain keeps being loud forever?