4
Compassion for the vulnerable and weak.
Single straight man that works in child care. Let me tell you, single mom's treat compassion like catnip. I keep them as far away from me outside of the school environment because me simply enjoying my job which naturally involves compassion is intoxicating to them.
Hard pass for me dating a single mom but if you are having a hard time as a straight single man dating (only perspective I can give advice on) is to be genuine and compassionate. Instant attraction for 99% of women looking for partners.
Ive become a bit of a cynic in this area and I think the women seeing your passion for child care and being a nice guy... They know they can wrap you around their fingers and get a lot of benefit from you.
Nice guys like yourself need to be very careful around todays women.
Woah, generalizations like this are rarely ever a good idea.
Toxic people mistake kindness for weakness and you just told on yourself, assuming everyone thinks the way you do.
Amazing analys doctor, but I think you may be seeing yourself in this rather than me...
Im not very toxic, just very honest about what I see. Even when its unpopular.
So. toxic, then, with no filter.
If you cant understand basic things, then sure. Very toxic. Lol.
You told a guy who does childcare that women know they can wrap him round their finger, which iabsolutely is mistaking kindness for weakness, a very negative way of thinking, which is the toxic bit.
You don't see at as toxic, but others do and you know it's unpopular but you do it anyway, which is the no filter bit.
Unapologetic and unwilling to reconsider your position, you then start insulting people and being snarky, which is both toxic and lacking a filter.
I won't be surprised if you double down and go more abusive and dismissive in response to what I've said because you clearly see no intrinsic merit whatsoever in kindness, so why would you hold back from the nastiest you could be?
Some of us learned social lessons at school (alongside academic content). Trump did neither, and thinks that playground bullying is strength. Be less Trumpy.
Most people are going to say personality, but I am going to go with breast size.
A quote (or mis-quote) from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" https://youtu.be/W_ENWgPmXnY?t=134
Being my wife
Tap for spoiler
Hi honey 🥹
I also choose this guy's wife.
I'm going to be so shallow as to claim that if they look attractive, I find that instantly hot.
i like ‘em short of breath CUZ THEY GOT THAT ASS MA
Oh, compatible sense of dad jokes is a good one.
Kindness, low ego, emotional intelligence, positive mindset.
They use Arch Linux.
How you doin'?
do derivatives count ?
Depends on the derivative. SteamOS definitely does not count unless (possibly) you're running it on something other than a steam deck.
It used to be a pulse, but at my age I can't be so picky.
Feels like digging up corpses is something you'd need youth for
Just need a job as a mortician, or become friends with a mortician who has questionable morals and needs money.
I'm a lonely male so the answer is if they give me a modicum of attention and kindness.
I'm a non-lonely male and my answer is basically the same.
Big tits.
Most insightful. Heartfelt, even
Anti-consumerism, it's a shame so few people possess it.
Not easily predictable without being completely random.
Unfortunately, I seem to favor the neurotic. It's not a thing I can control. I know damn well not to act on it, but attraction/infatuation can be a bastard sometimes. On the flip side, on the not-instant side of things, plenty of togetherness and shows of affection and tenderness can also call forth attraction over time.
Belief in and support for Universal Basic Income.
Glasses
Being kind
Intelligence
Being able to sing well.
A genuine smile.
Instantly? It’s a somewhat vague term, but magnanimity, having “loftiness of spirit.” To me, it means that when they enter a room they carry a subtle gravity. Their eyes are focused on what and who is around them, taking in each in turn with a clear understanding of what they see but a respect for what they don’t. A trim smile that welcomes greetings and promises warm words in return. They breathe with the calm ease of someone healthy and comfortable in their own skin, and with each step they appear to not just approach their physical destination, but their own personal fulfillment.
So…a cat?
Passion. Idc if they like fixing up cars, playing guitar or painting. Although that's not something instant. It's more on a getting to know them basis but oh well xD
When someone laughs at my jokes they instantly become more attractive.
It's not the only thing needed to make someone hot - I don't think I know of one thing that would do the trick regardless of anything else... but it's a big leap towards it for anyone, because it combines them laughing and having fun (which is attractive) with making me feel appreciated and included and good about myself (which opens me up socially to feel attraction).
On the flip side, someone who doesn't laugh at my jokes will become irrevocably unattractive regardless of anything else.
For me, I’m good as long as they “get” the joke. If they think I’m abysmally unfunny, especially if they audibly groan, that’s just as good
being vegan is a big one for me, no bigger turn-off than watching someone eating a carcass
A good wink. A guy can be medium attractive or not my type, but if they make a little joke and then give me individually a subtle wink, I'm smitten.
Not talking about a compliment followed by a wink. A joke, and then they let me in on it with them with a wink.
I am the total opposite, if you wink at me I'm going to be wholly creeped out.
Ô-Ô
In love yet?
Yes, but not with them eyes
That's not how it works
this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2025
4 points (100.0% liked)
Ask Lemmy
37739 readers
273 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS