I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…

I probably won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now

It depends.

As you get older these kinds of relationships become more important because... for most people they're one of very few constants in life. As in, friends and even partners come and go but from the day I'm born to the day I die, my ancestors will be my ancestors, and I share that in common with extended family.

That doesn't mean you have to talk to them or keep in touch with them or go to family gatherings. It just means that even after 3 decades of not speaking to a particular uncle or aunt, they still have that background and that title.

To some people that might not have much meaning and that's fine, but to me it does mean something, although I'm not sure what exactly.

Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other's company.

Relationships are incredibly important for living a long and fulfilling life.

One of the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their life:

“I wish I had stayed in touch with the people who mattered.”

It also has a protective factor to your health too.

Now, does that mean that you have to force yourself to like those extended relatives? No, of course not. Just like any other people, you must make the assessment whether these people are on the whole a benefit or a deterrent to you.

But being a family member often grants you a quick on-ramp to foster those relationships.

We all often say it’s too hard, we’re too busy. And I’d argue that if you find value in it, then you’re going to do it with intention and make the time.

No. But also I don't really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don't need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.

No ill feelings, I'm just no less awkward with them than other normies.

I have a weekly D&D game with my favorite aunt and uncle, as well as my Dad and my cousin's husband.

The latter runs one weekend, and I run the next, completely separate games of course.

I'm 51, my dad is 79, and his sister and her husband are a few years younger than he is. No idea on my fellow DM, I suspect late 40s.

If you find a common thread to hang on to, you can have a great relationship.

In this case, my aunt and uncle knew I was a huge weird nerd whose dad introduced him to D&D at 7 years old, so they thought to invite me when their daughter's husband made a game for them.

Seven years later, we are still at it and I run a game for my friends as well.

These relationships can be nurtured, as all can. You just have to find and maintain the why's.

Even people who don't give a crap about birdwatching may still love to see the birds their old friends spot.

But to further your point, I don't make much of an effort for those relatives that I don't have much in common with.

This year's Christmas present is a box of homemade fudge, rice krispie treats, and spicy chex mix, all homemade.

That's the effort I put in for those I don't have in my weekly or monthly life but are extended family.

Some, not all. And who I stay in touch with changes over time. I have many aunts, uncles, cousins and the next 2 generations so it isn't possible to keep meaningfully in touch with everyone. We have a pretty good grapevine so information eventually filters through.

I attended a funeral this week and all I can say is I have some regrets, imperfect though they were

things are hard, it's not always possible, amd people are complex, but it's good to still try

Yeah, the ones I have a connection with.

Aunt because we talk plants. She's hella good at hoyas and I've learned a lot from her.

Cousin because she ended up in a similar career field and we swap stories. Also some similar hobby interests.

Another cousin who has similar interests when it comes to politics and volunteer work.

No, but I'm an introvert like my dad. My sister and my mom do, they're way more social. My closest cousin in age doesn't talk to me, and I don't talk to him, but we're each other's favourites and we've said as much in front of our other cousins.

Some of my aunts and uncles randomly showed up in my city and invited me out, so I showed them around a bit, and it was a nice time. I'm finding as I get older that I appreciate family more.

I really like my first cousin. Just a great person. I like her family, my wife really gets along with her, I like her husband, my children and her children are second cousins and they all get along too. We visit them in-person once or twice a year.

I hadn't seen her for 15 years and then we reconnected at our grandfather's funeral about 10 years ago. It's nice sharing roots with other people.

My aunt and uncle hold a big Thanksgiving every year, 25-40 people. I am eternally grateful to them, without that event I would probably be completely estranged from my extended family

Yes. I pick the ones I like and make an effort with them. A handful of cousins and their families. Don't mind keeping a cursory, light interaction with some aunts and uncles.

The last line makes it sound a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.

Only family member outside my parents I keep in contact with is one of my nephews who I always viewed as more of a brother (he's 5 years younger than me). Most of the rest of the family isn't really intentional (except my mom's side of the family who I never really liked even as a kid) and more just I'm not good at talking to people I have little in common with.

I have a couple of aunts that I can have deep conversations with. I also get along with some of my cousins. I'll say that my family isn't as hierarchical as other families are.

No – and not even close/immediate family either.

Yeah we see them every year or so, more my dad's side, they came over last year as a surprise birthday visit for my dad. My mum's brothers don't usually come down to our area cause she moved away in the first place. And we don't go up there as often since Grandma died.

No, they're super nice people just, can't find the energy to keep it up myself. Not that I'd remember either way... my parents are shit-shows though, so I don't talk to them.

Cousins in my age group once every few months maybe, aunts and uncles hardly ever. Not even my own all that frequently, but we have a whatsapp group with those and my parents where we chat somewhat frequently.

Yes. I have several cousins and an uncle in Germany. I admit we didn't talk that frequently but we do talk on birthdays and holidays and we sometimes visit each other. In fact one of my cousins is coming to visit me next month. I fear for him. I hope CBP doesn't give him a problem en route. I also share music ideas with another cousin.