Mandatory "don't put Signal and Telegram in the same sentence" notice. Not to be a snob, but Telegram is not "secure and private", all chats are not end-to-end encrypted by default, everything is stored on Telegram's servers with "forever-ever" retention. The end-to-end encryption is opt in, uses a dodgy encryption algorithm and has some limitations in terms of who you can contact and from what device etc.

Telegram is owned by Pavel Durov who also created the largest Russian social media platform VK, which later was overtaken by Russian state as a tool for crowd control and propaganda. Even if we assume that Pavel no longer has any ties with Russia and its "government", his biography should still raise at least some questions around whether one should trust Telegram.

And finally, Telegram seems to be going the "everything app" route lately, which makes it a one stop shop of personal communication, public channels, news, bots, stories etc. (you name it). While it is not a bad thing in objective terms, these features are not built with privacy in mind, as that would pose quite a technical challenge. This means that Telegram's privacy and security will only be sacrificed more and more to get more of the social features out of the door.

/rant over/

My preference is Signal Private Messenger app, but like you, I have problems getting some friends and family to use it. So for the ones that won't, I just use Chomp SMS for my texting app.

I got my family on Signal by buying them each a drink to install it. Might be worth trying

Whatsapp in general. Telegram with my wife. Messages with my kid.

It might not work for everyone, but my general advice is to go cold turkey. Inform your relatives that from now on they can contact you on Signal and then stop using FB. If they value keeping in touch with you, they will follow.

I use Signal, Element (Matrix), built in SMS with grapheneOS, and I self host MatterMost.

I tried Threema, but getting people to move was more difficult than Signal

Just another reason to not have friends. No need to worry about messages and people getting funny because you 😱 reply to them straight away! 😎

Is it wrong to only miss not having friends when I need a hand lifting up something? 😳 I really need to buy a remote controlled crane! 🤔

Signal >>>>>>>> WhatsApp > texting > Telegram >>>>>>> Messenger.

wait,,, you guys have got friends?

My choice of app is entirely based on what the contact uses.

Most of my family are on iOS so we use native iMessage and FaceTime.

I have a small group of friends that almost exclusively use discord.

Older non-iOS friends tend to use WhatsApp, younger ones Telegram.

Signal if possible, WhatsApp if not. I'm also trying out Session, but it's still very much work-in-progress.

Whatsapp for the people I can't get to move to Signal, which sadly is everyone in my family. I hate having the zuck all up in my messaging though.

Matrix

Default unencrypted SMS, because family doesn't give a fuck about privacy. 😞

Signal. I bullied everyone I know into using it and deleted my Facebook account, so they have no other option for contacting me.

I use telegram and signal for different purposes and people.

I'm surprised no-one mentioned XMPP/Snikket nor matrix. Both platforms are FOSS, selfhostable and thus gives you total control over your means of communication. Check them out if you're curious (I prefer matrix, but snikket is more lightweight and easier to selfhost).

Signal is actually decently popular in my circle of friends. Whatsapp for the few that still don't get it and Threema with a small circle of others.

I have issues just getting people off SMS, never mind using a dedicated messaging app. I used to get folks to switch to Signal, because it also used SMS… what a headache, when that functionality got removed. I ended up moving to iOS, to take advantage of iMessage. It’s not as good as Signal, but it’s still a huge improvement.

Signal with 2 people who actually moved there with me, standard messages app that came with Samsung for most people, and Facebook Messenger Lite for anything that works better there, or contacting people who I'm not close enough with to get their phone number.

I got plenty of gripes with Signal (acting like a de facto proprietary app, backing up horrendously difficult, gimping the Android options in order to get to "feature parity" with the less developed iOS app, serious UI/UX missteps - the bubbles colouring debacle, no AMOLED mode etc.). Having said that, I let everybody know it IS my main messaging app - if they want to reach me, that's where I'll be. I do still use WhatsApp (barf!) and Slack, but exclusively for work-related stuff and I force close them the minute I walk out the office (if something blows up, a good, old-fashioned call will do). People who really want to keep in touch will eventually use an encrypted app, even if begrudgingly.

We just discussed this in the past week or two, removing under rule #4.

WhatsApp

Telegram with my gf and family, discord with friends. Fb messenger is awful to say the least

Well you could move to Matrix and integrate your messenger account that way it's a lot more seamless for everyone. You can get one person to do the same and you two start messaging securely via Matrix while you both keep in touch with the rest via the messenger integration. Then eventually everyone that cares even a little bit about Privacy will move over and no matter where they move you can keep in touch through Matrix and its many integrations.

Telegram for family, friends, work and actually for everything I can think of.

Discord for gaming with friends, not as a messenger but as voice comms mainly.

Whatsapp for very legacy stuff, haven't had a notification in a couple of years. Maybe it's time to uninstall, finally.

WhatsApp with most people (because that's what everyone uses), Telegram with the people I talk to a lot (a few college friends and my parents). Insta here and there, but that's mostly for people to send me reels, I don't really use the app for anything else. I've not used Facebook or the messenger for many years.

I recently saw something called berty that I’m still testing. Looks like a messaging app akin to lemmy.

Pretty much everyone in my country uses WhatsApp, so that's what I use. I prefer to use Signal, but nobody I know uses it nor wants to migrate, so it just ended up as a glorified SMS app until Signal removed SMS support.