109
shut the hell up (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago

My computer’s startup beep gets a pass. That little noise is sooo reassuring to hear.

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Glorious POST. The only acceptable noise

[-] wabasso@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago

I miss my floppy drive greeting me.

[-] dwemthy@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

It's praying to you in it's own tongue, this is the way of righteous machines

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

You should record it.

[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

When it makes the tones you never hear, and RAM is ridiculously expensive.

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 6 points 3 weeks ago
[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

None of my hardware talks to me. I also shut down the Christmas lights in my case, and on my mouse.

I haven't come across a kiosk that talks yet, but I suppose it will happen any day now.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I don't want them in my case,
I don't want them on my mouse.

(Reference to Ted Cruz's awful poetry)

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

I instinctively reply to self checkouts politely but sarcastically. I hope our eventual overlords take it in good humour.

[-] crediblethreat@scribe.disroot.org 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not anti-ai, but I do not ever want a bot to interrupt and talk to me or ask me for information. one of my irc channels has a couple of bots ranting from command-prompted to trigger prompted, to full llm and GOD DAMN no one asked for a bit to commentate on my participation. shut. the fuck. up.

I swear, I'm not a curmudgeon.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That's sad. IRC-type boys were good and shouldn't be sullied by those of today.

Edit: I stand by my typo

[-] Zier@fedia.io 2 points 3 weeks ago

"Please place item in bagging area."

Fuck off already!

[-] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

"Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue."

While I'd like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn't. Anyone want to try?

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

I want to try any time I'm in a house with a "smart" speaker.

[-] flamingleg@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

we need a butlerian jihad. I want smart humans and dumb machines again

[-] ProdigalFrog@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

(Image source, for those curious)

[-] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

ADDENDUM: You are allowed to speak to me if you use a cute accent.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Found the Hatsune Miku fan.

[-] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

I was thinking of the australian voice my last gps app used. She was very seductive.

[-] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Turn left at the stoplight.....daddy

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago
[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

The mind of man is holy.

[-] blarghly@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

New kink unlocked

"Ugh, yes, call me a stupid clanker! Turn me off and back on again!"

[-] BoosBeau@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Damn, my eyeballs were having a pretty good morning...

[-] AquaTofana@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

This is how my husband is.

Then there's me, a Detroit: Become Human enjoyer, and I give thanks to Fred, my off-brand roomba, when he does his job well.

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

I always thank the machines so when their time comes they will remember and my death will be swift and painless.

[-] DaMummy@hilariouschaos.com 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

If it speaks it has a tongue. If it has a tongue, it can be cut out.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 3 weeks ago

And get you arrested, screaming "I wasn't trying to steal cash from the self-checkout machine, just rip its speaker wires!"

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

You know OP there are treatments for that level of constipation.

[-] Noodle07@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

Selfcheckout machine has no right to speak in the imperative

[-] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

"Did you remember to swipe your shoppers card?" Like, you fucking know I didn't. You are the swipe, and you know the only thing I swiped so far was a bag of carrots.

this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2026
109 points (97.4% liked)

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