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[-] arin@lemmy.world 31 points 23 hours ago

TheOnion out of a job...

[-] BigTuffAl@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 day ago

The rich investigated themselves and what do you know, they're innocent!

[-] etherphon@midwest.social 22 points 23 hours ago

AH so he was the lone bad guy on the island then? Everyone else was there for a nice tan? That makes perfect sense.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 4 points 7 hours ago

it was just a few "bad apples" lol

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 9 points 20 hours ago

So the story we're going with is that an innocent man was imprisoned, then killed himself on your watch

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 hours ago

our society is buying into the narrative that russia is responsible for this global illuminati pedo sex, sacrifice & cannibalism ring; so it makes sense that they would buy this too.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Can't believe Russia would do all this to incriminate this saint of a man, then kill him in a US prison, all to bersmirch the good name of US oligarchs.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 hours ago

he killed himself, remember? lol

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 9 points 21 hours ago

thanks FBI, good work.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 20 hours ago

"He was just the main customer of the actual sex trafficking ring"

[-] unmagical@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 day ago

So that's that, then.

[-] MeetMeAtTheMovies@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

They’re genuinely trying to relegate this to the realm of conspiracy theory

[-] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I mean it is a conspiracy theory, it also happens to be true

[-] pirat@lemmy.ml 8 points 23 hours ago

A conspiracy one might even call it

[-] RiverRock@lemmy.ml 3 points 21 hours ago

The title is missing a "wink"

this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
140 points (98.6% liked)

Not the Onion

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For true stories that are so ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an !theonion worthy story.

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