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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by apotheotic@beehaw.org to c/rpgmemes@ttrpg.network

Inspired by this post about Vampire The Masquerade

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[-] novibe@lemmy.ml 5 points 9 hours ago

Guys no one ever says “don’t even ASK!”. It’s just that if you do ask, and the person does not have the energy or the capacity of explaining at that moment for any reason, don’t push and don’t get angry. Being oppressed is tiring, and having to explain yourself all the time is even more tiring. That’s all. If you are genuinely curious, you will find resources to learn and even people willing to teach. Just don’t expect EVERYONE to be that person.

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 1 points 4 hours ago

Well said :)

[-] baronofclubs@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

Playing devil's advocate: Shouldn't those who are not in a marginalized group be somewhat expected to have a modicum of understanding for those around them, though? No one should be expected to explain how, or why, they are who they are, and being pointedly asked about it generally puts a contentious focus on that aspect. Many, many people have put their energy and effort to explain all sorts of aspects about themselves, which are readily available at a moments notice. Why not rely on those instead of bringing up a potentially vulnerable topic and/or using a single aspect of one's identity as a talking point?

[-] novibe@lemmy.ml 5 points 7 hours ago

Well yeah that’s what I meant. Learning is necessary, teaching is voluntary.

[-] Godric@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

Every time I see stuff like this I instantly think of:

Like, congrats, it's nice to pat yourself on the back and all but...

[-] stray@pawb.social 15 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

I think it enforces itself by being off-putting to bigots. How many of them are playing it "incorrectly" to own the libs rather than just playing something they perceive as less hostile?

[-] Atlas48@ttrpg.network 5 points 9 hours ago

none, because the title and cover art alone would put them off.

[-] Anivia@feddit.org -2 points 8 hours ago

I would play this despite not respecting fat people 🤷

[-] Gonzako@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

They lost me at the last point tbh. I don't blame anyone for not knowing and you shouldn't blame me for not learning about something that hasn't affected me.

[-] shaggyb@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago

It's your responsibility to learn, not their responsibility to teach.

[-] Atlas48@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 hours ago

also, found this from a tumblr post

My problem with “it’s not my job to educate you!” is that if you’re an activist then yes, it is your job, that’s part of what activism is. If you call yourself an activist but in the next breath refuse to offer education to those who are able to listen, your activism is performative/disingenuous at best and actively harmful at worst. Telling people to “google it” it not helpful when google has become increasingly unusable and bogged down with advertisements and unusable results - not to mention, not everyone can be expected to tell the difference between accurate sources and, say, dogwhistle-y propaganda messages, especially if they are new to leftism. You could be doing more to push them towards the right than to help them understand leftism, all because of “purity politics” or clique behaviors or superiority complexes or whatever it is that’s causing all these people to behave this way.

[-] KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 hours ago

Not everyone is an activist though. And even those that are, they need down time sometimes. I get it's tough for those on the spectrum to understand, but in this context, let people at the table just play the fucking game.

[-] Fjdybank@lemmy.ca 10 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

It's not their responsibility to teach but it's also not my responsibility to keep abreast of all social developments. It's inappropriate to gatekeep due to someone's naive ignorance.

Picture this. Sitting at a table game and someone drops a term or phrase that I don't recognise. Am I going to run to the toilet and google that term? Or am I just gonna say 'yo, what's that mean?"

[-] shaggyb@lemmy.world -2 points 8 hours ago

Hmm, yeah.

This shit that you're doing, right here? Nobody wants to deal with that.

[-] King_Bob_IV@startrek.website 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I believe what they are referring to is that it's not any individuals responsibility to ensure that any other individuals knowledge of their marginalization is complete. That's not saying that individuals can't do it, nor that they shouldn't call attention to specific issues as effect them at that time. It's saying that they are not responsible to do the work of teaching someone that which they should learn themselves once the issue has been raised. To do otherwise often feels like the person has to justify their existence and struggles to anyone who asks. That's an unreasonable load for the marginalized person to carry.

So not blame, just where the burthen of learning falls once an issue comes up.

[-] Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I wholly don't understand it. If one brings up an issue it kind of is up to the person to explain why it is an issue, no? I'd just tell ya I'm part of a marginalised group? Like, I'm the US version of "white", rich enough to afford a vacation a year and a house, cishet. My marginalization is not brought up on those bullet points so you'd have to go digging down my comments to find it. Like, how often do these issues get brought up?

Like, the person exists allright if they're in front of me but if they have an active problem they do have to make a case among the group, as otherwise it seems very easily weaponized.

As for the reason I'm a marginalised group, I got falsely accused of raping someone and that wholly destroyed my social life. I hope you have an understanding of why I'm very weary of these kind of systems.

[-] King_Bob_IV@startrek.website 6 points 6 hours ago

What this is talking about would be if I were to now ask you questions about your marginalization and demanded answers. But since that is not relevant to our discussion here and because it's not your job to ensure that I am informed on any issues relating to your marginalization I wouldn't ask the questions in the first place. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to justify your existence to anybody who possess by and is curious.

People sometimes treat visible members of marginalized groups like they are information dispensers. That just because they are viable they are responsible for entertaining their curiousity. In specific instances where it's relevant and invited a discussion of their marginalization is fine. But it's is not the job of someone to ensure any person interested is told about whatever they want to ask.

[-] polotype@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago
[-] KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 hours ago

Ask politely, show a genuine interest, and don't try to undermine what they say. Also read the room if it's going into a topic that someone doesn't feel comfortable talking about and be ready to learn another day!

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 11 points 1 day ago

Yeah but it would be good to educate yourself on your own steam as well

[-] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 11 points 1 day ago

This one seems a little more obvious.

[-] simple@piefed.social 40 points 1 day ago

the bigots wanting to play "thirsty sword lesbians" are going to be so upset when they read this

[-] vzqq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 day ago

You have no idea! They are absolutely seething at being called out like this, even though the game is basically “Conservatives stay away, the RPG”. I’ve ended up in quite a few Reddit slapfights over it.

As far as I can tell, what drives them nuts is the “fascists and bigots” bit. Basically they apparently self-identify as bigots and fascists, but deeply resent anyone else doing so.

[-] rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio 14 points 1 day ago

even though the game is basically “Conservatives stay away, the RPG”. I’ve ended up in quite a few Reddit slapfights over it.

This seems frustratingly common. Like fascists who love Rage Against the Machine because they're functionally illiterate and fail to realize the music is antithetical to their worldview.

[-] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 13 points 1 day ago

The good old "when did RATM went all political"

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 11 points 1 day ago

You'd be surprised at how many people were up in arms about it.

[-] DmMacniel@feddit.org 9 points 1 day ago

If they could read.

[-] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

It does feel like pandering but hey, at least they're explicit about it.

[-] MouseKeyboard@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 day ago

These are about as useful as a Tumblr DNI.

[-] Gonzako@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

DNI in Spanish stands for Documento Nacional de Identidad so everytime i saw these I always have to take a double step, what are ya asking ID for?

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 2 points 7 hours ago

Well, everyone is about to start asking for an ID on the web, it seems, so you might be about right soon

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 18 points 1 day ago

It hurt the feelings of a bunch of bigots online when the sourcebook came out so I'd say it did some good work

[-] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 13 points 1 day ago

The goal isn't to actually prevent those people from playing the game, obviously that's not possible. The goal is to piss them off so it's obvious to the other people they would be playing with that they are not fun or maybe safe to be around.

[-] bad_news@lemmy.billiam.net -2 points 1 day ago

That's some grade A virtue signaling. I bet they felt VERY smug about what they accomplished with this. I fucking hate people like this. What DARK shit are you hiding that you're constantly trying to convince people of your virtue?

[-] stray@pawb.social 0 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Even though we usually talk about it in a derogatory way, virtue signaling is not inherently bad. A shirt that says "trans rights are human rights" is virtue signaling, but the performance is in itself beneficial to society, even if the wearer is only doing it to feel trendy and special.

What they accomplished with this is hostility to bigots who might otherwise have felt welcome.

[-] bad_news@lemmy.billiam.net 3 points 4 hours ago

I don't think they're actually accomplishing any of those things. I'd argue a shirt is a demonstration IRL of support, which can raise awareness or normalize support for a cause (although not super effectively). Things like this make the "bigots" you are pwning just write this off as the usual DEI bullshit that nobody likes while also turning off anyone without your EXACT strain of identitarian politics, even if they don't actually oppose any specific sentiment in the statement. It is literally counterproductive because it makes you (and your cause) look angry and mean and like the bully.

[-] stray@pawb.social 1 points 3 hours ago

Who is it being mean towards or bullying? Who is it angry at?

[-] bad_news@lemmy.billiam.net 3 points 3 hours ago

People looking at the webpage this is on?

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 2 points 16 hours ago
[-] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 6 points 20 hours ago

A dark and evil desire for a more compassionate world free from bigots and fascists. There I said it.

[-] savvywolf@pawb.social 6 points 22 hours ago

Basic empathy and a desire to make the world a better place?

[-] Goatboy@lemmy.today 2 points 10 hours ago

Lol no. These people rarely have empathy for anyone but themselves.

[-] bad_news@lemmy.billiam.net 3 points 4 hours ago

Exactly. White collar, upwardly mobile women (usually white) trying to accrue social credit for themselves to preen for other similarly minded women with no real desire to make anything materially better for anyone else.

[-] Goatboy@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

Can't count the number of times I've had "allies" try to call me out for speaking about my own experience. Identity politics is a cancer.

this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2026
204 points (93.2% liked)

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