I'm somewhat of a tankie myself

freshly hatched Browt

@Dort_Owl@hexbear.net

Bit idea: guy who's retirement plan is scratchers. He doesnt play em, he just buys one a week to sell later as "vintage scratchers"

it is march 2 and stalin saved the world from fascism

Today's gonna be a great day for me because I arranged a rideshare with somebody directly instead of going through Uber or Lyft. It's unbelievable the difference that makes - she's paying the same price but I'm making over twice the amount I would, rideshare companies are genuinely at the cutting edge of stealing surplus value.

I really need to make business cards and pass them around to the bars and hotels in my town. We get no uber/lyft service up here because we're a little too far from the main town so I have the opportunity to be "the guy" that everyone turns to.

TIL one of the US military's newest weapons is a reverse engineered Iranian drone bomb, is our military industrial complex really unable to develop this itself?

“Stop being so easily offended about bigotry…just IGNORE it!”

“How DARE you tell me to just ignore trans people!?!?! THEY MUST PAY FOR WHAT TEENAGERS ON TUMBLR SAID ABOUT US!”

I get normies want to be big scary badasses…and they’re succeeding. They’re creeping me out.

I just found out my boring midwest burgerland supermarket has not one but TWO brands of imported Chinese tea in the "international" section! Like not the overpriced celestial seasoning crap, but real Oolong and Jasmine tea. Totally made my week. The best part is, it's only $1.50 for a box of 20 teabags! Small victories!

theres this stupid slop happening about how for some commercial clip the CEO of McDonald's trying some new borger, but he took some little baby bite because obviously it's made from utility cuts recovered from an illegal cat farm or whatever... so the commentariat is roasting hum. meanwhile the Burger King CEO has released a clip of himself taking some huge bite out of the "revamped" Whopper, and the comment hogs are braying in approval.

if i were a CEO right now and sold a cheap food product, i would release a video of myself eating whatever it was like a fucking maniac. like just cramming it into my animal maw with my hands, getting shit all over my face and shirt, just losing my fucking mind about it and swallowing barely chewed chunks like a labrador.

it would, unironically, be a huge hit and give me a lot of influence over the board to blow up my compensation package.

They forgot to post the Iranian miniskirt photo oh no.

Finally got a friend to warch the 1979 Gundam. She's starting tomorrow and cause she works in cosmetics can get me nail supplies.that are good for ginpla detailing as well as hair dye and shit and I said id pick her up a couple kits in exchange. She likes sci fi and arts n crafts and we are exes who were together for 3 years, shes gonna like it, knkw her tastes. She's gonna make some really sick models soon

My chef has a weird brain and sometimes asks the strangest questions. I mentioned the school near me seems to be building a greenhouse cause he was talking about building one before the spring, he's really into gardening and I said I wasnt sure cause it wasnt finished but it had the look. He sarcastically said "as long as it isnt a homeless shelter or something." (This town has gone to absolute shit in regards to sheltering the homeless even more than before). I joked back something along the lines of 'they'd never build it that close to a school, that's too close to providing free education.' And he sincerely asked in response "So you're in favor of educating the homeless?" And like...that's a weird way off putting it but yes. I think everyone should have free access to education, it's not like I think people are necessarily homeless because of a lack thereof and while it's down the list from things like shelter and food, access to education would for sure help. I wasnt talking forced education, that's for much richer people. I explained essentially that and he replied that he had no idea why he asked that.

Won the Windows 11 brick lottery at work and got to go home early yesterday. Came in at lunch and it's still not up and running. I feel like a guy in a workplace sitcom that comes into work because I have nothing else to do

Hexbears new age verification is wild. I had to send a guy a picture of my anus because you can count the ridges to determine how old someone one is. But I appreciated his efforts to make sure I was real and of age.

Morrowind came out two years before Shrek 2. Technically Puss'n'Boots sounds like Kajiit, not the other way around.

I will unironically convert to shia islam if Iran destroys the entity.

I feel like I'm splurging and spending too much money on buying Basmati rice as opposed to any other type of generic short or long grain rice that's 1/3 of the price but $1.20/pound for fancy bitch rice is still extraordinarily cheap in the grand scheme of grocery bills

Seen a few terrific Knight Of The Seven Kingdom fan edits

I made my vegan quesadillas too sexy and all my coworkers ate all of them before i could get one for lunch because i was too busy making arancini for Tuesday

I'd be fine with this since i'm not vegan but the non vegan quesadillas are just cheese and bacon and hardly any of it and TOO SPICY wtf

Fun Star Trek fact: in the fictional history of Trek, 2026 is the year that the Third World War starts.

Every time I see a new Pokemon starter lineup I think they're very gubious if you know what I mean. They always feel like a very distilled and manufactured attempt to make something cute.

FWIIII ^Huh!^ ^Hooh!^ ^Huh!^ ^Hooh!^ ^Huh!^ ^Hooh!^

Waking up to the news today has literally given me more energy, I'm working out and I feel good, gonna meet a comrade later, it's fuckin ON

Fun fact: Cuno doesn’t fucking care

Everyone makes fun of Alex Jones for that tweet but maybe his Labubu really did hit a major 6 7

My new years resolution of reading one book a month has not worked out for me lmao

I was watching a comedy video where some guy fell and then “received autism” and it has him doing the stereotypical r-slur arm movements while making weird noises.

Do most people actually think being autistic means being mentally impaired?

I really thought I got banned and couldnt think of why

can somoene else please kill capitalism im scared and i dont wanna

thinking about an rts that features modern asymmetric warfare with drones and shit, realizing that like half the armies i could include are credibly accused of committing genocide

My indoor tomato plant is finally putting out fruit. I don't think I'm going to get much from it but it's a good proof of concept. I had to aggressively trim it and it has dropped a lot of buds due to the frequent heatwaves. My brother actually wants me to babysit a banana plant of his, and put it in the same spot next to the window. I think it would tolerate the 40 degree heat much better. If not, I'm going to put a small citrus or some chilli plants there and instead go to hydroponic for cherry tomatoes, a lot less effort required

I had this thought the other day but we would be in such a weird timeline if the U.S. had sexenios like they do in Mexico rather than 2 4-year terms. Sure things would be like 99% similar and it’d just be changes in who manages capitalism, but if I had to guess it’d be like this:

Bush would be president from 2000-2006, so everything would be the same in that regard. While Obama may have a shot at presidency in a 2006 election since he first gained attention for his 2004 DNC speech, he can’t run on hope and change in response to the 2008 Recession so I think Hillary Clinton would actually have a better chance and would be president from 2006-2012. Foreign policy would likely be the same, maybe even more hawkish, but the recession would happen under her presidency rather than Bush which is just hilarious to think about. But also, without Obama, Trump doesn’t gain the political clout he did with the birtherism, so I think from 2012-2018, the likely president would be Mitt Romney (or maybe even Ted Cruz?) to “stabilize” capitalism after Clinton and the 2008 Recession, especially as the bailouts would be framed as establishment Democrat governance. Maybe even the ACA passes under a Romney presidency instead which would also be hilarious. But you’d have the same factors that contributed to the election of Trump in the mid 2010s (Rust Belt deindustrialization, immigration, social media, austerity, etc.) so I think you’d have some sort of populist campaign, maybe Bernie or a non-Trump Republican populist. If Bernie wins, he’d be president during COVID, 2022 inflation, Ukraine war, Gaza genocide, etc., which would be pretty disasterous for the perception of “democratic socialism” in America meaning you’d probably get someone like Ron DeSantis (or even Tucker Carlson) in 2024-2030. But if a Republican won in 2018, you’d probably get like a Gavin Newsome in 2024 as a “return to normalcy” president like Biden but without Biden as he wouldn’t have the Obama stimulus.

That was kind of a long winded alt history fan fic but we would be so close to having a slightly “funnier” timeline if we were a little more like Mexico (idk if funny is the right word considering all of the horrible things still happen, but like first woman president? Recession. A republican passing the ACA instead of Obama. Social democracy becoming completely unviable in American electoral politics, etc). Someone should make like a Disco Elysium type game in this timeline

it is march 3 and stalin saved the world from fascism