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TIL it takes the average mammal 12 seconds to poop.
(www.pbs.org)
they don't have to wipe
They don't have doom to scroll
I mean, you don’t HAVE to wipe!
Not if you do a deep enough squat!
Or you could get some helping hands to spread those cheeks further
I just stand in the shower and drag my fingers through mud valley then waffle stomp the rest down the drain.
Or check the lemmings. ... Slightly awkward
Why wipe? Shitting yourself is the new path to power in 2026.
The President does it, after all
They can also just take a dump where ever they stand
I tend to wait till i can get to a restroom
Not dogs though. If they don't work hard to find the perfect pooping spot, they ain't pooping.
Obviously the perfect spot is the corner of the basement, back behind the clothes washing machine, as this is both safe from predators and far enough outside the living area to not spread disease. Unfortunately the humans do not allow this, so we must search daily for a new outdoor area which is suitable.
I need more fiber in my diet :\
Be careful with that shit, it's powerful magic.
Tell that to the dog named Oliver who lives with me...I swear that guy will take like 5 to 7 minutes some days...sheesh
Look, it's not a race, okay?
But if it were, I lost.
Tell that to Ron from Accounting
Boss makes a dollar,
I make a dime.
12 seconds to shit?
Not near enough time.
When everything is working as it should, it doesn't take me much longer. That's a rare day, though.
Don't you dare tell my boss that. Don't take my time away from me!!
Yogi is not your average bear.
ITT: Commode users who forgot the rest of the world is used to squat toilets lol
Pooping itself might take 12 seconds, but if you consider that you have to go to the toilet in the first place, wipe the lid clean, sit down, relax enough to actually be able to poop, then poop, wipe, wipe again, wipe again, then wash hands ... it takes more like 5-15 minutes depending on what you ate yesterday.
For me it takes upwards of an hour, because I think I'm done then 20 minutes later I'll have to go again for round 2. So I rather just sit and wait until it's all out rather than go running back to the toilet several times over. Yes I've already tried increasing my fiber intake.
this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2026
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