But actually the big thing that helped me was sitting down and assessing why I wanted to correct this stuff. It never gave me any satisfaction, it never lead to anything I liked, and a good deal of it was likely venting trauma from being talked down to all my life. Once I put it together it just kind of stopped happening.

Eventually you learn that its not worth it.

90% of the time, people aren't arguing in good faith. You can only hear another variant of the cosmological argument so many times before you realize that arguing is pointless

I don't argue with people who are wrong. I point out where they are wrong, and why, for the sake of passers-by who may need more complete information, because most people are lurkers, and most people tend to believe what's typed on the internet without much further question.

you don't have a problem with stopping the argument. you have a problem with the desire to always be right. you're compensating for a lack of recognition in your skills and intelligence in real life.

accept that you will never get that recognition and you will stop needing to be right.

I know this, because I was this.

next time you see something that someone said is wrong, just high five them and move on.

i usually engage briefly so that others can see there is pushback, because i know most people are lurkers and it is important to me that there are both sides represented. but i learned when they respond in bad faith i can just disengage and either block or move on. i listen to my body's reactions and try to leave when i feel myself getting agitated. it works for me :)

Can't argue with people on social media if you're not on social media.

taps_forehead.jpg

I only post on Lemmy and I don't do a lot of arguing because it leads to beatdowns. Either I get beatdowns from idiots or I get a well-deserved beatdown because I'm the idiot. Get enough beatdowns and you too will tire of it - maybe you are now! Maybe this is a cry for help!

There are two rules to happiness.

Rule1: Never say everything you know.

Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.

https://xkcd.com/386/

The problem with the internet is that however many people to convince to join your side – or even just correct – there will always be more. It is beyound your capability to correct them all, and you will burn out. So why even start. The rule I follow is to only discuss politics when it's face to face, IRL – like in a pub. These kinds of discussions are better IRL anyway because people feel a duty to keep discussions civil so there's much less chance of it descending into a nasty flame war

Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.

That's not necessarily arguing, unless you're continuing to engage repeatedly. This is really where you stop, if you even choose to engage at all. Have your say, make it count, move along.

If you genuinely care about a subject/topic/opinion, that first reply counts for 99% of your reach/impact. The second time you reply, it counts for 0.99%, the third time you reply, it's like 0.099% ROI and so on.

After that first one, the juice is not worth the squeeze and the young folks are saying these days.

If your social media outlets of favor are anything like Lemmy, most of the people you see with edgy content or making edgy comments, they aren't serious people. They aren't here for serious discussion or open minds, even if it is a serious topic.

It's easy to say, I realize, but you have to learn to let it go. Literally nobody cares. Probably even the person you're "arguing" with doesn't care, other than it gives them sexual pleasure to get attention from a rando online.

Also, don't fall into the fallacy that the one who speaks last wins. If the person you're debating is just serving up leftovers from the overly salty stale dinner with no substance that they prepared last night, it's okay to leave the table. You literally are winning, no matter what, by not eating that same slop that you already know is bad.

Self discipline.

Once I learned the skill of purposely removing myself from certain online things...world of Warcraft and social media arguing were two big ones...I got a lot of my life back.

It really just comes down to self discipline and self control, which are necessary to learn if you want to actually mature and grow up.

Edit: you could also consider it the art of learning boundaries.

oh i usually start typing something and realize it's

Discuss don't try and "win," what are you winning I'm not turning up with a prize.

I find it helps immensely to not be on social media to begin with.

That's not an argument.

Acknowledge your own limitations. The reason you think in the way that you do is that you were taught to think that way. You have been exposed to thousands of ideas that form the foundation of your belief system, and you can't convey those efficiently over a few social media posts. You can't teach everything to everyone.

I downvote and hide the thread. I used to argue with flerfs on Twitter years ago. Didn't take long before I noticed they believe what they want. Trying to educate is a waste of my limited time.

Instead of arguing to win, I argue to learn about the other side's opinion. ~~I trigger people for them to say more for my AI training. (/j)~~ If the argument is something I've seen a thousand times then I don't bother.

Also, if someone starts using personal insults ("fuck you", "kill yourself"), that means they ran out of arguments and lost.

It's okay with me if people are wrong. I disagree with everyone on at least one thing, I find, if I talk to them for more than a few minutes.

You could try this--offer your correction, and then never look at the thread again. Disengage. You've done all you can do, let it go. Eventually, you WILL get to that point, so get there quickly and on your terms.

It's okay if people are wrong, and a lot of people are.

If you really can't control yourself, then you might benefit from therapy.

Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.

No, you don't.

Leave all meta products; they are built in a way that arguing is promoted. Only reply once to a post; never twice, tell you opinion and stop.

Assume they don't want to and can't be corrected, because there's a 99% chance that's exactly the case.

Correct them once and move on, last say doesn't mean shit when they're wrong.

and in case you are wrong, acknowledgement goes a long way. be the example, but don't expect it from anyone else.

For me, all it took was learning to just let myself decide to do nothing when I think someone is wrong, even if I feel that view or speech or whatever might be harmful to them or others in some moralistic sense, and especially if I find myself already frustrated before I've engaged. Everything isn't up to everyone to sort out all the time, and it's been hugely freeing to just let it go and focus on literally anything else in my life. The internet has a way of making us over-value the thoughts and opinions of strangers sometimes (seemingly particularly those we have nothing in common with and nothing to gain from arguing with).

Disagree with the point not the person. And remember the person you're arguing with is one person while there are a hundred on the sidelines thinking that acting like assholes precludes making good points.

I've been there, my friend. I can't say I never disagree with anyone — I certainly can't say that. But I rarely argue. It is a learnable skill.

Don't bother. Most people don't care about facts, they just want their existing beliefs to be reinforced. You will not sway them, only waste time. They may even be intentionally posting incorrect information to troll or mislead. Don't give them the time.

I don't. I use social media as an outlet for my contrarianism so I don't do it at home

Write your comment, but ask yourself right before you hit send: “I’m gonna die one day. Is this what I want to spend time on? Is this what I want to be remembered for?” Eventually you’ll ask yourself that before you finish writing and later still you’ll ask yourself that when you think about writing the comment.

I see a lot of "just don't" comments in here which doesn't seem very helpful.

What are you afraid will happen if you don't correct the wrong comment? Let's start there.