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Unstoppable javelinas love coyote pee like it’s “bacon bits in their salad.” Here's why golf courses are peeved

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[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 160 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Golf course in a fkn desert. These pigs are doing humanity a favor.

[-] DragonAce@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This was exactly my thought. Most people skimmed over the part of the article that talks about the insane amount of water used annually by these fucking wastes of space. No golf courses should fucking exist, they carve out hundreds of acres of land and wipe out tons of local flora and fauna, all so a bunch of old rich fucks can get drunk every day and hit a stupid fucking ball around.

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

But but but! Golf courses only used 2% of the states daily water! That's nothing!! /s

[-] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

While they use reclaimed water down there the whole thing is still fucking stupid.

[-] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 61 points 1 year ago

"After doing bumps of Coyote piss" was not a sentence I was expecting to read at 5:30 in the morning.

But here we are.

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

You gotta key I can borrow?

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[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago
[-] IamSparticles@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 year ago

Golf courses in the middle of the desert are even more stupid.

[-] madcaesar@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Hot take: It's not a sport! If a morbidly obese 80 year old can do it, it's not a sport...

[-] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

If golf is a sport then so is miniature golf.

[-] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 year ago

I mean, a morbidly obese octogenarian could pay rugby... Once... Briefly...

[-] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And all mushrooms are edible...

[-] radioactiveradio@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's a glorified game of fetch with oneself. They hit the ball and then they look for it for hours.

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[-] CryptidBestiary@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

Good, I hope they tear it all up. Golf course use an insane amount of water, even when they're located in the desert or a place where droughts are common.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago

So.... I have an idea.

Maybe, if they're a problem everywhere else, people should just trap them and.... release them on the golf course.

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[-] sagrotan@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

At our golf course they actually embrace the animals. Everyone is just stop playing if there's a possibility of hitting a deer, the pig holes are just additional bunkers, they closed a hole because of many nesting birds. If you wanna play in nature, you're just a guest.

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[-] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 26 points 1 year ago

I live in the general area, and yes, javelinas are a constant problem for everyone. Most peoples' yards are fenced off for that very reason.

If you're wondering what a javelina is, it's what the rest of the world calls a peccary. It looks like a wild boar. Also, don't try to get bacon bits off of it; they've got a scent gland that instantly destroys the flavor of the meat if it's pierced. (Even if the scent gland is left intact, it's a toss up as to whether you'd be able to stomach that meat.)

[-] CatsGoMOW@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

It’s like an anti-theft ink tag. 😂

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[-] MagicShel@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

The culinary portion of this comment seems seasoned with experience and regret.

[-] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Nah, just research. "They're pigs, right? Why don't people just cook them and eat them?" A few Google searches made the answer abundantly clear. (Also, javelinas just plain stink. It's a skunk-like odor, and who'd want to eat whatever is making that smell?)

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[-] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 23 points 1 year ago

When they say "wild pig-like animals" I immediately imagine some sort of gang of never before seen tribal pigmen.

[-] troybot@midwest.social 11 points 1 year ago

ManBearPig. It is half man, half bear, and half pig.

[-] Treczoks@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

In a desert state like Arizona, a golf course is an abomination from the word go. Let nature have their way with it: They provided a wet paradise in the desert, and the animals come to make use of it.

[-] LastYearsPumpkin@feddit.ch 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

#TeamJavelina

[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Oh no, the 30-50 feral hogs!

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[-] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Javelinas... narrow pigs I call em. (They're Peccaries).

Not surprised they're encroaching golf courses. They were all over the desert suburbs years ago.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

I thought javelinas were pigs you could throw

[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

You can if you're brave enough. Just watch out for the stink nipple.

[-] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

The spicy tooth

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
[-] Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

Piss on your local golf course today!

[-] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Can confirm: Am delighted.

[-] SirToxicAvenger@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

that's really unfortunate. if only the private country clubs could afford to repair the golf greens in the desert.

[-] So_zetta_slowpoke@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Back in my day you'd be lucky to see a javelina. Now you just want to kill em. Must be fuckin' nice!

[-] exixx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

We ought to leave this world behind

[-] So_zetta_slowpoke@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

If my wife were here, she'd tell you that there's a special place in heaven for animal lovers.

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[-] Open_Mike@artemis.camp 6 points 1 year ago

I read that as wild pug-like animals at first. Sounded cute.

[-] FMT99@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

A large pig-like animal, most likely a pig, has wandered onto the golf course in search of food.

[-] Bonehead@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Not just any pig. It's a skunk pig.

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
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this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
423 points (96.9% liked)

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