Guys, I'm getting a house tonight and could use some advice (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Quaxamilliom@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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I'm told if I throw some flyers in front of the house letting the people living there know I intend to take it over, I'm cool right? Also I printed out some pamphlets my church recently put out that says the house at this very address is actually my birth-right, so if they try to put up a fuss I can just point out the relevant text. I am planning on going in armed, when can I shoot them if they refuse to leave? I really don't want to shoot kids but if their parents refuse to leave, they are using them as human shields and I can obliterate them, correct?

Thanks for the advice.

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[-] SovietyWoomy@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

Violence is bad. You should make a peace offering and let them keep a closet.

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

But make sure it locks from the outside. And if there are any, like, bummer vibes coming from in there, fire humanitarian warning shots through the door.

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Make sure you bring your deed that you got from a real estate agency that has nothing to do with the house or the people living in it.

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Eat the real estate agent an poop in their shoes

[-] Comp4@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Use your all American M109A7 Paladin self-propelled howitzer to shell the house for at least 2h. After you are done shelling the house bring a camera crew with you and tell them how sad you are that it has come to this and there was no way to avoid this.