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Nothing. I've read enough Monkey's Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.
Poof, you now have nothing
That's still a step up for some people
You end up with a genie begging you to make a wish every waking moment of your life, ala "three thousand years of longing"
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I'd get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.
Then I'd probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.
Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.
Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.
If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren't there to follow the law, they're there to see that the contract is logistically sound.
If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there's really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he's just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
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I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!
There are far too many ways for an immortality wish to make your life hell in ways that a money wish uh, wishes it could.
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Enjoy living to see the heat death of the universe in 10^100 years or so.
Immortality has its own set of complications. Like seeing everyone you love die. Out living the earth, solar system. Being stuck for eternity in the heat death of the universe. I mean, I guess a longer life but not immortal might be desirable. Personally, my only wish would be to live comfortably.
“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think
there is no intentional curse but making you immortal is what the average human wishes for. Genie argues that it's truly a bonus. You live a normal natural life, but instead of dying, you keep living. The money stops, and you live forever. Having to return to work after not working your entire life.
I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.
Granted. You’re now a masochist.
Sure, that works. Curse me harder, daddy. Because of you, I like it.
Granted. But you didn't wish anything for yourself so nothing happens to you or for you. The next person to meet the genie enjoys the outcome of their wish.
I would wish for a better genie.
A genie emerges that's even better at cursing your whish
A genie emerges from the lamp, and promises to try to curse you less
Darn, I thought I nailed that one.
Hm, sound like abuse of power to me. I'd wish for the genie to lose the ability to grant wishes. It needs to be cursed though, so I'd have to help with that.
Since it can still offer wishes, just not grant them... I'd help it learn to code. It could have a bright future as the CTO of a tech startup in the next hype cycle. I would not invest.
I wonder how many times this has already happened.
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Whatever bad thing happens to me, the same will happen to the genie twice.
I just hope he's not a masochist.
Considering the high probability the djinn has spent centuries locked inside a small vessel, completely alone, the chances roll towards harboring sadistic wishes of revenge.
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I wish for the genie to have never existed in the first place.
Thanks for the paradox bub.
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Police to always be lawful good
Teen suicide rate multiplies after the police destroy youth culture with constant surveillance.
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"I wish for whatever I would get if an alternate version of me who were much smarter, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, less selfish, much less short sighted, much more creative and much more prepared to word the perfect wish, WHILE STILL BEING ME with my values, goals, principles and desires were making a wish from an alternate version of YOU who tries to bless wishes, instead of cursing them."
(also, I know how to fuck this one up)
Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else's health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you've proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.
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I wouldn't wish. Shit always goes bad. Best cass scenario I learn a "valuable lesson" through some kinda hackneyed adventure. In the worst case scenario I'm cursed for eternity or some shit
Different genie
You get a different genie who doesn't grant any wishes.
I wish for a new genie that grants wishes successfully but never tries or succeeds in cursing my wishes.
Granted. You didn't specify where, so it exists somewhere within the universe.
Good luck. Even twisted, Good fortune is always a boon worth having.
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this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
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