That's not ironic. At most, it's surprising 🤷

Basically I quit drinking for both my physical and mental health and a few of them insisted on wanting to drink around me even though I said that it made staying sober really hard.

One of the key culprits in the insisting on drinking around me was the dude I was dating on the time, but that didn't last more than a couple instances of them getting hammered while I stayed sober.

So I said that I didn't want to be around the ones who insisted on drinking if they continued their shit.

Then the ones that didn't drink around me kept telling me that I was being too harsh on staying sober, and they started insisting that I could drink in moderation.

I said I had tried that in the past and I failed miserably at staying sober.

Then I tried to reach out to them the following weekend and they told me that they had decided that they were going to keep drinking and partying.

So we parted ways.

Honestly it was pretty mutual, though they decided my sobriety was a deal breaker independently of me deciding that their drinking was a deal breaker.

Kinda hurt at first but it didn't take long before I realized that I was happier not around them then around them. So I'd say I came out ahead.

Last I heard the group broke further when a few of them started getting into hard drugs a few months later so I guess I dodged a bullet there.

The first one ended pretty badly and it hurts to talk about in detail to this day. But long story short it ended over the course of 3 days: day one one died, day two I took it poorly and started drinking again, then day three the other one died due to a DUI (they had failed in sobriety as well) then I basically fell full long into alcoholism again.

Depends on the structure. If there's marriage involved it can kind of end in a train wreck. Sometimes if it's a bunch of solo polyam it's just kind of fades. Depends on who's house it is as well.

If you try again, lay out your expectations as to how much attention you expect, as it seems as if there wasn't good communication on that and you committed more than they did. Poly and monogamy ultimately have the same largest hurldles: bad communication and bad actors.

I don't think living/being poly is as exhausting as keeping up other relationships. It is more exhausting to lie and to hide when you are cheating. Cause you create a mask and by that causing a distance to your partner.

Our society has a big focus on momogamous romantic relationship. Family, friends, other relationships variants... "not that desirable". Even i, a monogamous, find that... exhausting. My family always fights with each other, my friends are busy working. Who is left to connect to?

I love my boyfriend. But i often wish for more connection with other people (non romantic and non sexual). Just hanging out, sharing thoughts and emotions. Without being afraid of vurnability. But that means to make time for friends, to stop having a grugde with the family.

Every relationship is exhausting, but the connection it's worth the effort.

Well shit when you put it that way.

No but they are lacking communication

They'all lying to each other, so that's not great

She is shitty for cheating him without telling him. He knows and is okay with it but she doesn't know that. She also doesn't know he cheats, and he doesn't want her to know, so he is shitty too. The side boy is shitty too for participating in all of this. He might not have known she had a BF, but now he does and doesn't care.