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[-] Candelestine@lemmy.world 196 points 1 year ago

A chilly, distant demeanor. Is it an asshole that hates you, or is it an introvert that just wants to go home?

[-] Weirdbeardgame@lemmy.ml 43 points 1 year ago

Honestly I'm an extrovert that gets lost in thought sometimes. I have the meanest looking resting removed face when I am. But I'm as gentle as a butterfly and always up for a good conversation if anyone approaches.

[-] EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

resting removed face

What?

[-] charlytune@mander.xyz 16 points 1 year ago

I think some instances remove swear words so you just see 'removed'

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[-] atlasraven31@lemm.ee 122 points 1 year ago

"I'm just asking questions." Could be a child, could be a moon-landing conspiracy person.

[-] alokir@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago

Could be someone who's genuinely trying to understand someone's viewpoint, but it reveals inconsistencies in the other person's logic, so they get irritated.

[-] constantokra@lemmy.one 28 points 1 year ago

I'm autistic. This is the story of my life.

[-] EliasChao@lemmy.one 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ever since getting into arguments with strangers online stopped being fun for me, I try to be extremely polite to people when I’m asking a probably confrontational question.

On the internet, a good amount of time people asking questions in comments sections are often just trying to show others how much they know about something in the most passive aggressively way possible, so it better to always be extra clear that you’re trying to engage on a healthy discussion.

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[-] pickelsurprise@lemmy.loungerat.io 20 points 1 year ago

Eh, if it's coming from an adult who should know better, I wouldn't say it's being misinterpreted as a sign of being an asshole.

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[-] Wreckronomicon@lemmy.world 111 points 1 year ago

Not being a conversational person.

I don't do small talk very well and I very quickly run put of things to say to someone I don't know so I don't like to just talk rubbish with someone, I prefer to remain quiet and get on with what I am doing.

I don't mean that the person isn't worth talking to or I don't like them, if they need something from me or have a question then I'll galdly answer or help them, but almost everyone takes it as a slight against them when i dont want to engage in idle chit chat and assume I'm an arsehole when I'm really not trying to be.

[-] Nonameuser678@aussie.zone 28 points 1 year ago

As an autistic person I love interacting with people like you.

[-] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

listen, as someone who needs to be social but isnt, it is ok to let there be awkward silences. it is ok.

it isn't your job to be entertaining. conversation is a 2 way road.

contribute, motherfucker

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[-] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 106 points 1 year ago

Parking in a handicapped parking spot and having no visible disability.

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[-] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 97 points 1 year ago

Women speaking up and demanding to be heard.

[-] CoderKat@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In particular, women are more likely to be viewed as "bitchy", "bossy", etc for doing the exact same thing that a man could do without being considered as such.

So it's not just women speaking up, but also that there's a gender imbalance in how that speaking up can be viewed.

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[-] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 84 points 1 year ago

Offering a concise answer to questions, without softening language.

[-] EliasChao@lemmy.one 33 points 1 year ago

To be fair though, sincerity without empathy is just assholeness. There are way to many people justifying their asshole behaviors with “being sincere”.

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[-] croobat@lemmy.world 75 points 1 year ago
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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 69 points 1 year ago

Saying no and not backing down from it

[-] ebowski@lemmy.sdf.org 26 points 1 year ago

aka Boundaries.

Too many people can't deal with that, but that's their problem.

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 66 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Being bluntly honest. People who are neurodivergent can struggle with being "politely dishonest" and can tell you what they think in a very blunt manner without meaning to offend.

Not engaging in small talk. Again, people who are neurodivergent tend to prefer talking about things that fascinate them and can have a hard time understanding the point of talking about just whatever.

Struggling with being on time, struggling to focus on someone or something, struggling with eye contact. In general, neurodivergent traits tend to be seen as "asshole behavior" because they are abnormal and don't conform to society. People who aren't normal tend to be viewed as assholes because how dare they inconvenience me by being different.

Source: personal experience as well as listening to the experiences of others. I've been hit with all these things at least once and accused of being an asshole, aloof, and/or self-centered.

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[-] breathless_RACEHORSE@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

The fact that they have a record.

Look for a pattern, not a single instance. And yet companies and people hold bad decisions of the past against most folks.

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[-] csolisr@communities.azkware.net 51 points 1 year ago

Unrequested advice. Sometimes it is warranted after all.

[-] Cube6392@beehaw.org 24 points 1 year ago

I tell people this all the time. But I have to. It's like... If I don't, I won't know if I'm still real.

I was on the train once headed into the city. A dude getting off the train looks me dead in the eye and says "never trust unsolicited advice" and then stepped through the door.

That was it. That was the entire interaction. Completely blew my mind. I did ultimately decide it was legitimate advice. But still, it was wild being told not to trust the advice I was receiving.

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[-] agressivelyPassive@feddit.de 23 points 1 year ago

And some people genuinely want to help, without implying the other person is stupid, weak, incompetent either.

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[-] SighBapanada@lemmy.ca 47 points 1 year ago

Well for one, I wish I could tell people no when they ask me to social events without being interpreted as an asshole

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

"I'd love to, but unfortunately I am busy tonight."

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[-] ScaredDuck@sopuli.xyz 42 points 1 year ago
[-] miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 year ago

Reminds of a post a few days ago, that described how people think you're condescending and sit on a high horse, just because you use some fancy words here and there.

Meanwhile I'm just trying to describe something with as much detail as possible, because it's important to convey exactly what I mean.

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[-] Today@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago
[-] Ashyr@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago

Neuro-Divergent

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[-] Capricorny90210@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago

Someone who's assertive (not to be mistaken for someone who thinks they're assertive and really is just an asshole).

Someone offering constructive criticism.

Especially those two put together.

[-] DaveNa@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 year ago
[-] mythic_tartan@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 year ago

Asking a dog owner to use their leash rather than letting their dog walk up to you or your kids.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago

Refusing to engage.

[-] vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 year ago

Not agreeing to false logic (say, out of pressure to be polite or non-confrontational), especially when the next step would be doing something based on that logic. People sincerely don't understand why deceiving you once like this won't work another time and think it makes you an asshole.

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[-] RoundSparrow@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I turn the question around... people who are clearly liars, deceivers... politicians and businessmen that people line up to vote for with their money or public votes. You really wonder what people think an "asshole" is when you see the kind of politicians that get massive support in a population - to a point people have their photograph on the wall of their workplace or home, put stickers on their cars, etc. to support people that are clearly monstrous. A lot of people do not seem to like to study the crowds of Europe 1930's terrible leaders and just how many lined up to cheer on such persons.

The scientists a person believes also is a huge indicator of who they consider to be an 'asshole'. Just passively listening to people who support denial of climate change, denial of microscopic germs and virus, etc. The enthusiasm that followers to non-factual science seem to be very high, and they draw crowds in ways that fact-based science does not seem to do.

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[-] Serpardum@lemmyonline.com 19 points 1 year ago

Someone stating their opinion.

[-] closure1170@beehaw.org 37 points 1 year ago

100% depends on the opinion

[-] TheHalc@sopuli.xyz 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Absolutely.

"It's just my opinion" isn't a valid defence when you should have kept that opinion to yourself.

"Your baby is ugly" might even be true, but it's not something you actually say to people.

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[-] Nemo@midwest.social 17 points 1 year ago
[-] SeeJayEmm@lemmy.procrastinati.org 21 points 1 year ago

That really depends on if it's an exception or a consistent pattern.

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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
250 points (95.3% liked)

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