60
submitted 11 months ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
all 48 comments
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[-] Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee 33 points 11 months ago

I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.

[-] DrMango@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.

How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

What is my most used word?

The

[-] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Nah pretty sure my would be uuummmm

[-] Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Yes yes yes! All these trivial things that I will look up and say "Neat!". My heaven is pretty simple haha

[-] potterpockets@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 months ago

Number of times people have masturbated to me.

(Spoiler: it’s zero)

[-] GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network 24 points 11 months ago
[-] victorz@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago
[-] KammicRelief@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

but how do you know?!?

[-] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 11 months ago

How much splooge I've nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:

  • Thimbles
  • Water balloons
  • Per hoppus foot
  • Cord and rick
  • Burlap potato sacks
  • Waffle irons
  • Size 11 wooden clogs
  • Drums
  • Silos
  • Minecarts
  • Blimps/zeppelins
  • Potential babies
[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You've nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *

~measured as per sperm, not by volume or weight~

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Are you by any chance the cum box dude?

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago

Oh dear, I was hoping that one would die with reddit.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha

[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I'm thinking teaspoons.

[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 months ago

Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 13 points 11 months ago

my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.

[-] ADHDefy@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago

I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 6 points 11 months ago

I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.

[-] GONADS125@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Big dicks come with big dick problems.

[-] Rocky60@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

In Soviet Russia, Bear-that-ate-dog lets YOU in!

[-] Meowoem@sh.itjust.works 12 points 11 months ago

Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.

I'd be fascinated to know what the peek's correspond to

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 10 points 11 months ago
[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Psssh, such a Squirrel answer🐿️

[-] noseatbelt@lemmy.ca 9 points 11 months ago

How many times I've been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I would love to know how many websites I've visited since I began using the internet.

[-] GONADS125@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I am in the 1% of humans worldwide who can lick their own elbows.

Please, no autographs..

Edit: I'm dumb and misread the question. I read it like: "What statistic about yourself do you desire the world to know about?"

[-] AverageGoob@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it's about time to be replaced.

[-] theodewere@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago

total number of mouse clicks

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Are you a FPS gamer?

[-] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I just want to know why the only women willing to give me the time of day are mentally unstable abusers.

also, maybe, how long of a wall 3 foot tall and 6 inches thick could have been made from my total bowel movements.

[-] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 7 points 11 months ago

Total hours spent listening to music. And where I am on the leaderboard lol

[-] Bebo@literature.cafe 6 points 11 months ago

Details of what all books I've read. Impossible to remember details

[-] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

How many French fries I've eaten.

[-] there1snospoon@ttrpg.network 4 points 11 months ago

How much money I’ve spent on her.

[-] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Exactly how many people I've transported by ambulance in the past 36 years?

[-] sntx@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

Total amount of Energy consumed

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Status effects.

I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brain.

[-] TehBamski@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Don't we all?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I wanna see my KDR.

"Hold up... How is it 684:10?"

[-] fluke@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Found the cat.

[-] livus@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

Runway remaining/life expectancy.

[-] theskyisfalling@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 11 months ago

I'd want to know how many bong hits I have taken in my life.....

[-] Globulart@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.

this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
60 points (98.4% liked)

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