[Not the Onion] IDF is literally looking for "monsters under the bed" and finding them. (hexbear.net)

submitted 11 months ago by InevitableSwing@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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IDF spokesman's substack - Monsters Under the Bed - by Lt. Col. Richard Hecht.

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[-] halykthered@lemmy.ml 40 points 11 months ago

Hamas and ISIS were in the bedroom storing weapons with the babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

[-] featured@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

And also the baby was beheaded

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 11 months ago

I hate how liberals will always compare their real world enemies to fictional enemies, but those they support are so blatant in their bullshit that it would be considered terrible writing in even the most half-assed liberal fiction.

[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

In children's cartoons, there's inevitably the line that even the comic villain won't cross. You'll have Skeletor punch three guys in a row and then step up to a baby, hesitate, turn to the camera and say "Well, I'm not a monster" and walk past.

Then you've got IRL IDF who straight up do long-form prose explaining why they were fully justified in dropping artillery on a daycare.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

Fiction has to make sense. But reality gives storytelling the middle finger and it does whatever it wants.

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

Putting a big sign that says "baby girl" with a cartoon sleeping baby next to it so that people know that a baby girl's bedroom is here and not a hamas weapons storage

yeah this is a normal thing for palestinians

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 27 points 11 months ago

in english too

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

stashing all my illegal firearms in the room i labeled "طفلة" so the ATF won't find my illegal guns

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

This is almost funnier than Batman and the bees

[-] Comp4@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

thanks this got a chuckle out of me

[-] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

I heard they ate a gay baby

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

...in a temple dedicated to Arab Satan

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

If I didn't take that screengrab myself and I saw it on the net without a link to confirm it was real - I'd assume it couldn't be real. Shows what I know. We live in an insane era.

[-] impartial_fanboy@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

terrorist infrastructure

Oh that's a good term, really invalidates anything Hamas tries to do.

Build a factory to make rockets? Obviously terrorist infrastructure.
Build a power station to supply a hospital? They're hiding the rockets from the rocket factory in it, terrorist infrastructure.
Pour asphalt for a road? They're just making it easier for their trucks to transport the rockets from the rocket factory.
Put up some drywall? Well duh, they're trying to hide the rockets from the rocket factory that totally exists behind this unassuming wall that couldn't possibly have any other function, terrorist infrastructure.

It's just so versatile. Somehow I doubt if we started calling everything imperialist infrastructure that the media would be quite so accommodating despite it fitting the description much more aptly.

[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

"Thank you so much for being able to sit tonight. Aliyah's bottle is in the fridge, don't forget to warm it up for her and make sure she's in bed by 8:30 at the latest. Oh, and the rockets get launched at 9:15 sharp. Tonight's heading is 91.580, add on a couple of arcseconds if the wind picks up. Okay, that's it! Tootles!"