Please Hamas you have the chance to do something extremely funny.
what is supposed to be the joke in that babylon bee tweet? that chicago has crime? where's the funny?
99% of conservative satire is just stating something they already believe in. Like an Onion joke would be “AOC pauses child-eating circuit to vote ‘No’ on military aid,” but the same headline will be posted by conservatives and then they get genuinely angry at it because they believe it to be the truth.
Essentially, just imagine the type of guy who think stand up comedy is easy because it’s just ranting in front of an audience. That’s conservative comedy
For right-wingers 90% of any Chicago joke is already done because it's about Chicago. It's already implied in their mind that black people have guns, are criminals, are violent, and they shoot people.
I bet a "Are ya triggered?" Netflix comedian could riff for at least 10 minutes making Chicago a slur like this...
"Chicago. Right? Chicago. Why is it that we talk 'bout Chicago all the time? Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago. Who's from Chicago that was in the White House that we hat— Oh, I don't want anybody to misunderstand. I'm not talking about race. People just hate stuff like broccoli. You just hate it. I just mean the guy in the White House that we didn't care for was from Chicago. We didn't like the guy. The Chicago guy. And ya know - I was just reading about a different guy - a good guy in Chicago. A white cop in Chicago. He's a white cop. He just is. Anybody triggered already? Are ya triggered by that? Why? That's what he is! This good white cop got shot in Chicago by... you know..."
I knew that "chicago" is just a dog whistle for black people, but you could at least TRY to make a joke out of it. It's like that observation about conservative comedy where they get mad halfway through telling a joke and then forget to be funny
they get mad halfway through
Man, I missed a chance to keep it simple. He just rants for 10+ minutes after starting with this...
"Chicago. Right? Chicago... You know what. I'm already mad. Just that word makes me mad. Chicago. Everybody's mad. All of you are already mad, right?... Chicago..."
I make a lot of Chicago jokes, too, but because of 1930s gangsters. Big oopsies...
I once made a joke at reddit about Kwame Kilpatrick. I had never seen such a Wikipedia page for a politican before. My mouth was agape. Most of the page was a list of crimes - one crime after another. It was quite something.
Kwame Malik Kilpatrick (born June 8, 1970) is an American politician, convicted fraudster and racketeer, who previously served as the 72nd mayor of Detroit – from 2002 to 2008.
I only posted because I couldn't believe how brazen he was and how much crime he committed. But later I realized racists would think I was likely a kindred spirit because he was the black mayor of Detroit.
Don't southern 2nd Amendment haven states experience drastically more gun violence than most places including New York/California and shit? I remember reading that gun death stats are just the exact opposite of the deeply engrained Republican assertion that more gun control = more gun violence that everyone believes for some reason
Having a gun in the house can be dangerous because it increases the chances of suicide and male violence/murder on the women in their life. The Wikipedia page on the Dickey Amendment seems to be total shit. As I understand it for 20+ years (up to now?) the GOP blocked the CDC from doing much research on anything related to death or injury by gun.
The Dickey Amendment is a provision first inserted as a rider into the 1997 omnibus spending bill of the United States federal government that mandated that "none of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) may be used to advocate or promote gun control."
There is no joke.
Chuds and conservatives have designated Babylon bee as the anti-onion (will never take shots at them)
I think it's this:
Oh oh! He he! Large city govern by [FAKE OPPOSITION CORPORATION] haz crime. Would not have as much crime if govern by my [FAKE OPPOSITION CORPORATION] Ho ho! He he! 
The joke is "haha look at that liberal run city it has crime! Conservatives never have crime in their cities"
Everything to these people is some silly culture war nonsense.
What is this in reference to? I am out of the loop.
Also, wtf is this lunatic talking about? These racist idiots just invent a world in their heads so that they can get mad at it.
What is this in reference to? I am out of the loop.
There's no loop. I really wanted to make a Elon/Bibi joke but there were only a few photos to work with. I cropped the photo and I realized their expressions seemed perfectly creepy and a great match to the headline I already wrote.
Also, wtf is this lunatic talking about?
I have no idea but my wild hunch it's nothing in particular. He saw a chance to jump into a Elon tweet-related thread about the typical use of Chicago as a racist euphemism for black people. People like him want to be racist but they also desperately want likes and mainstream engagement too.
Imagine being friends with a billionaire and still being poor enough to live in a neighborhood where gun violence happens. Guess he wasn’t born with the grifting gene
Idk, could the friend or musk were the ones who shot the wall
"Oh, gee, here I go violating human rights again ..."
The words "Israel can't help it" popped into my head and that was immediately followed by - don't ask me why - a song by Journey.
[Chorus]
Is'rael can't help it, it needs more
It hasn't found what it's looking for
It's still killing in Gaza
It can't help it, and it's just that way
Seems like the actual purpose of the trip was negations to stop starlink from being used by Palestinians
Milking their dead and turning them into cyborg drones
You will be ASS simulated.
Tell me he didn’t connect a neuralink to a cadaver’s prostate.
Damn these new Metal Gear games just don't hit right without Kojima
He put on his high impact googles and he did it himself for science. A successful launch. And everybody cheered.
I watched a few different videos from the scene to try to figure out what they are standing in front of. The audio is messed up on all the different video angles and it's raining. Fox News and Dailymail say that the object is a baby crib.
https://youtu.be/J-Dt2hJ5TBs?t=30
https://youtu.be/H7EYyiIwlxQ?t=29
https://youtu.be/wwN9C6y4Y4g?t=26
I found a transcript here : https://news.yahoo.com/elon-musk-tours-attacked-kibbutz-123203470.html
The bald IDF guy on the left while describing what they are looking at, says "It's a symbol in kibbutz. We have kids inside. The mothers and the fathers went around this way. But it's holding shells-- specifically of a Negev-- that was used here in order to protect the people." Negev is an IDF machine gun.
For weeks now the IDF has been showing us manufactured videos of military equipment placed inside the bedrooms of children in Gaza. Making claims that this is evidence that Hamas is putting children in danger.
Today we have a video of the IDF displaying the crib of an Israeli child and inside the crib is Israeli bullet shells from an Israeli weapon. The IDF tells us that this is a symbol of mothers and fathers protecting their children. This is new levels of IDF propaganda.
I have no pulse and I must cream
Main
love with all your might and post on main 
"I ~~asked Grok to~~ write a poem about love"
— Elon Musk
Their faces are just screaming "Well, this special volunteer is dead".
It's amazing how a photo can change due to a simple crop.
Here's the scene from a different POV where you can see what they are looking at.
I have no idea what it is. A crib on a dolly?
Anyway, so I went to Israel and I was wearing an extra small kevlar to show off my midriff, which was the style at the time.
aw I was hoping he was actually going to give iof soldiers seizures
Did they fit him with a child's safety vest?
I can't get over how he's wearing that shitty plate carrier like a bib.
What's the difference between a flak jacket and a plate carrier? I don't know anything about this stuff so I've calling it all flak jackets. Is that wrong?
Also - now that you mention it - is his plate carrier upside and/or backwards? What's going on there?
I forgot to mention. He's wearing it in the right orientation it's just practically under his chin. It should cover just below the collar bone protecting his heart and lungs. Here it will protect his fat gullet.
A plate carrier.carries armored plates. Different plates can stop different calibers of bullets. Some cheap ones are made of steel, which are almost never recommended because they're heavy as shit and the bullet fragmenting off the plate will guillotine you. Higher quality ones are made of ceramic. Those are most common. Then in pistol caliber rated ones they're even made of just polymer.
A flak jacket I believe would really only offer protection from explosive fragments.
I suspect Elon is wearing a plate carrier with a ballistic plate to protect his bib area lol it's either a shitty little steel one or a ceramic that is flat and lacks any curves. It looks so ridiculously shitty that I wanna say it's the former.
Bib for eating lead lol
Dude can't even manage to look cool wearing a bulletproof vest in a warzone and working on cybernetic brain implants.
You’d think with all that money and his clearly fragile ego he’d invest in looking half decent, but nah always looks like he just rolled out of bed after eating a whole XL pizza and drinking 12 beers the night before
You’d think with all that money and his clearly fragile ego he’d invest in looking half decent
This is about the best money can buy, lmao just look at his 'before' pics, dude was completely bald in his 20s.
Elon is basically the apartheid government-in-exile at this point
critical support to elon if he lobotomizes bibi
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip
