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lol, the Bazingatruck starts at $60,000
(www.reuters.com)
Unsurprisingly the Muskrat lied about everything else too 
Though I also would buy the Homer.
It's more like $61k, but I'm honestly surprised he didn't make it start at $69,420
That’s reserved for the prememium model
I can imagine a couple guys in Tesla's marketing department talking about it.
"Elon's putting out a premium model at $69,420."
"That sounds about right for his middle school mindset."
"It has a WeedHolder and a SexButton among other features."
"Really? Or did you make that up?"
"Yes."
Sex mode would be what he calls the button that lays the seats all the way back.
A built in bong would rule. Just hope the low quality assurance didn’t miss it getting contaminated with exhaust.
"Dude, disconnect your bong! I told you not to buy an Elon Truck!"
"What are you talking about?"
"This morning a guy in LA took a big toke and his lungs caught on fire and he died a horrible death. He was Tiktoking at the time. It went viral."
"That would be a serious quality control issue if in fact—"
"It sounds to me that you need to be deprogrammed."
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That would be in keeping with all these HECKING EPIC features Teslas have: https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/modelx/en_us/GUID-79A49D40-A028-435B-A7F6-8E48846AB9E9.html
Fun can come in surprising ways. Select your preferred fart style and target seat. Use your turn signal or press the left scroll wheel when you’re ready to “release” your prank. For those lucky vehicles equipped with a Pedestrian Warning System, you can choose to broadcast externally when your vehicle is parked. But wait-- the fun doesn't stop there! Use the mobile app to conduct remote emissions testing by touching and holding any of the four quick control buttons and selecting the fart button.
God fucking damn it.
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Check out this test crash. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zg34aSkuuY
They only showed it at 35 mph because going at a real speed like 65+ will get this thing obliterated unlike most other cars that deal with physics and not just "ME HAVE STRONGEST TRUCK." Crumple zones are for beta cuck soyboys.
"Because of the low center of gravity, this car won't tip over!"
proceeds to show car nearly rolling over at 16mph
it reaches at least 40 degrees if not 45 degrees
this was probably the highest speed rollover test they could get that wouldn't fail
16 mph is such a specific number, this has to be the answer
suck it beta cuck soyboys, im gonna experience a rollover in the grocery store parking lot.
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Also "if you get in a disagreement with another car, you win"
Literally admitting were just in an arms race of who can drive the vehicle that's most dangerous to other people.
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Even worse, wasn't 
's original plan to not have airbags at all?
edit: I bet Elon's asked why they don't make the planes out of the same material as the black boxes.
No, the concept renders just didn't have airbags.
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"Well, our market analysis returned: 'lmfao, no one who spends more than a minute thinking about their purchases will buy this TRON looking truncated shit wedge'. So we decided to capitalize on their insights."
”We decided to pivot to another tried and true marketing strategy: say that this garbage is so expensive because it's meant for rich people, not some ordinary pleb.”
Yeah but consider this: When you and your family die in an accident due to the lack of crumple zones, you can just use the intact cybertruck as a family coffin and save the cost of 4 seperate ones. The price makes total sense when you start thinking like a true businessman.
ahh but if the battery explodes on impact, you'll also need to buy coffins
But when the fire department takes 5 hours to put the lithium fire out you get a free cremation
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I hate that I love it so much. Too many vector graphics video games when I was a kid.
We are together in our terrible taste in aesthetics.
really? it like a shitty mark up of a sedan. I don't understand who this is supposed to appeal to
Me, apparently
Love the honesty
People who like polyhedrons
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Bruh at least Rivian makes shit that looks nice.
Seriously the only way this thing was going to compete with rivian was by being 20k cheaper.
Now it's an uglier shittier less practical worse made vehicle for the same price with the added benefit of anybody who sees you in it is going to assume you're a dumbass at best and a tool.
You could just get a king ranch at that price and have an actually working luxury truck with power to it
"Finally, the future will look like the future," [Musk] said about the truck's design
did you know that the future looks like some crap from a 1970s movie
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Looks like the rover in moon patrol for the 2600
I'm pretty sure there are some drawings in my parent's attic of this exact vehicle that I drew in 3rd grade.
At that price it better come with an animatronic Don Knotts that drives it for you.
it looks like shiiiiiiiit
of course it is. All the chuds talking about getting this while driving their beatup pickup trucks will be in for a rude awakening.
I doubt they're the ones cooming over this vehicle. Judging by the crowd of fanboys that paid out of their own pocket to attend this release party they are rich techies. And the market for vanity trucks costing over 80k in the US is huge and growing every year. Just in my apartment complex alone, there are now TWO Ram TRXs crowding our small parking lot. That is a $100k 700 hp truck with no practical utility for actual work.
but think of all the fun art you can scrawl on the sides with your keys
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The only people buying this are collectors. I cannot wrap my head around the concept that the pictures are of the production model. Did Elon draw this himself?
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Should be to the surprise to no one, his cars are for rich techbros they're luxury vehicles.
They very much are not luxury vehicles.
They've got panel gaps you can stick your hand in and a button to make fart sounds.
It's a luxury vehicle as imagined by 6 year olds.
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this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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