I was hitting it off with my new neighbor and he said something like I'm glad you're cool like one of us [40 something white heterosexual cis men] because we're under attack nudge nudge wink wink. I'm good, later man.

I reconnected with an old friend I hadn't seen in years. He was a bit of a conspiracy nut and was telling me about a new crazy one he had just heard about. I ended up jokingly asking him if he thought vaccines caused autism too. He just kind of deflated and walked away. We haven't spoken since. I later learned that his son had just been diagnosed as severely autistic. Oops.

We were celebrating my birthday at a nice restaurant. My cousin, who had just had her first child 2 months before, was there.

I asked when he was eligible to be vaccinated (this was pre-Covid, so just talking routine infant vaccinations).

She said she wasn’t sure if she was because she read on FB that….

I had had some good wine. I had heard enough. It was my birthday and I regret nothing, but we didn’t speak for a very long while after I went into “are you fucking kidding me” mode.

There was this girl at my office who I thought was kind of nice and I think she thought I was kind of nice too. Then one day she said something totally out of the blue about how the Jews control everything. Last time I ever l spoke to her unless it was strictly professional.

It was on a wedding. I was talking to a dude who got seated at our table. Somehow he managed to change the subject to gender and such, him not understanding why we need these new pronouns and such. I could already tell, that this conversation was heading in a bad direction. Then he said something like "I don't care if people are gay, but at least some years ago, they would hide at home and be embarrassed about it!" That was the point when I turned around without another word and simply walked away. He didn't understand what he did wrong. But I didn't want to make a scene at the wedding. Also I am certain that it has no use discussing anything with people like that.

I was working at a gas station. Aside from a few long term employees, the turnaround was fairly high. Mostly kids from the local school trying to earn some money during vacations. One time they hired this dude who was usually working construction but needed something during the winter. Super nice dude, always helpful and already had experience with cash registers. But given I've grown up around sociopaths, there was this tingle in the back of my head that there was something off about this guy.
During your shift you have to keep copies of all receipts and separate trucks from regular cars. At the end, you comb through them and make sure none of the truck receipts slipped into the regular pile, wrap a paper around them and put date and your signature on it.
One day a bit of work piled up and I was stuck with other duties before finishing my shift. As I was finally about to finish, I noticed my reciepts were gone. I asked them whether he placed them somewhere else. He said he already did my receipts for me (wasn't uncommon and like I said super nice guy).
I go to the breakroom and see the pile of receipts with paper wrapped around and my signature on them???
I ask him if he signed it with my signature. He casually responds with, "Yeah, I know how to do all the signatures from all the coworkers here.", and I think to myself "Yep, there it is". I coumbed through the receipts again, clocked out and went home. And coincidentally never worked a shift with the guy again. And a few weeks later he got fired. He got caught refunding customer money to his own bank account (he had experience with registers).

At an inspection for a rental property the agent, mid small talk, said "and I'm glad it's people like you (white, cishet couple) checking this place out, the owner is not keen to lease the place to people who aren't white".

Anytime I'm talking to my music teacher and he brings up Donald Trump. Happens at least 3x a week during the school year.

Talking to a former coworker who was a bit older, but always pretty friendly and cool in a refreshing way. He brings up the new young girl they just hired, and her “perky little tits and tight ass”. I guess it’s not crazy to say you find a girl attractive, but it just felt particularly creepy how he said it. I also just hate when I start becoming friends with a new person and I find out they’re a little pervy, and then they feel like they can start making pervy comments around me because now we’re bros.

Edit: wanted to add the inevitable “she hot?” that appears whenever any female ever comes up in discussion about anything. I can’t fucking stand that question.

A lady I went on a date with said that she thought that The Joe Rogan Experience was funny

Yeah, as some people have mentioned, when you get people doing the nudge nudge testing the racist/sexist/homophobic waters.

Was talking to a guy at work about upcoming holidays off, and he launches into: "Why do we have a Martin Luther King day anyways?!". Nope.

Fart humor. I'm out once that starts.