Hold me closer, Tony Danza...

Not me personally, but I worked with a guy that always thought Secret Agent Man was Secret Asian Man.

Pearl Jam; Daughter

Center of a Rhododendron = Center of he own attention.

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

When I was a kid, I swear the lyrics sounded like "later we'll have some fucking pie", but it's "later we'll have some pumpkin pie".

I know I'm not the only one but I always thought the line was "dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief". Still think Thunder Chief is a cool name.

Same band, I thought the line was "let loose, vamanoose" like a funny way of saying vamonos - or "lets go".

No dogs orgasm in the classroom

Another Brick in the Wall (part 2)

Blinded By the Light

~~Roll up like a douche~~ Rev up like a deuce

"'Scuse me while I kiss this guy..."

If you want a big list of these check out https://www.kissthisguy.com/

Here's one from there

Like a virgin touched for the thirty-first time. Artist: Madonna Song: Like a Virgin Real Lyric: Like a virgin touched for the very first time.

Crimean River

Taylor Swift - Blank Space

"Got a long list of ex lovers"

As

"Gotta love those Starbucks lovers"

I thought it was supposed to be a self aware "white girl" joke.

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIZZAS

I remember the subtitles for Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun said "It's like kitty fat, it retracts before impact" which was nuts, I had the CD, and it was "any fad". They didn't use to vet subtitles on MTV. There were orders, but that's all I remember.

Who, from time to time, has not been revved up like a douche?

Had a friend who's little bro thought "Liberate my madness" from Liberate by Slipknot was "Never eat bananas".

José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad.

Sounds like he is saying 'release mum and dad.' interlace with him singing 'I want to wish you a merry christmas'

I was in stitches at the dinner table when I heard it. Trying to tell my brother while crying and hyperventilating with laughter made it even better.

If you like peeing on koalas and getting caught in the rain

Is it the reebok or nike

It's in our nature to destroy ourselves

It's in our nature to kill ourselves

It's in our nature to kill each other

It's in our nature to kill, kill, kill

That's the actual lyrics of Blood Brothers from Papa Roach, some people hear "Human Nature" instead of our nature, which is still the same meaning. However I once read someone misshearing of that lyrics and I can never unheard it, this is what I hear now (and so will you if you read):

Send the ninjas to destroy ourselves

Send the ninjas to kill ourselves

Send the ninjas to kill each other

Send the ninjas to kill, kill, kill

Selena Gomez - Good For You - "~~I'm 14 carats. I'm 14 carets~~ I'm farting carrots. I'm farting carrots."

I used to work with this guy who swore the lyrics to Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones were, “Don’t wanna be, your pizza’s burnin’”.

"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift

~~Got a long list of ex-lovers~~

"Lonely Starbucks lovers"

She's got electric boobs... Something something... B-b-b-benny and the jetsssss

Back nearly 20 years ago Disney California Adventure (Anaheim, Cali) had this interactive exhibit where you did various things in line with the Disney animated kids movies. One was playing the Seven Dwarfs "Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work we go..."

In a little alcove in front of a group of friends was another group of cute mid-teen little Latino girls. They were dressed somewhat provocatively for the average Disney guest and all were wearing bold makeup, (not judging, but they stood out). The typical Spanish accent was prevalent with the silent "h". Their innocent rendition as they sang along was hilarious. Happy as they could be they were singing, "I hoe, I hoe, it's off to work we go..."

"Hey now, you're a rockstar, get laaaiid!"

Oh, it's actually get PAID.

Head Automatica - I Shot William H. Macy

What my friends and I heard when the album dropped: "Yeah, yeah... I put a sausage in your little hand!"

What the actual line says: "Yeah yeah, I'll put assassins in your little head."

Although my all-time favorite is and will forever be:

"Excuse me, while I kiss this guy" - Jimmy Hendrix

Uptown funky butt

The bridge to The Four Horsemen by Metallica

🎶Time has taken a stool on you!🎶

Hamster. A dentist!

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Casserole, casserole, on the wall.

Who'll stop Lorraine?

I thought it was about a lady who fell down a hill.

Hemorrhage by Fuel

~~Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again~~ We all livin' in my pants, in my pants oh yeah

The Toadies "Possum Kingdom"

I'm not gonna lie
I'll not be a gentleman
Behind the boathouse
I'll show you my ~~dark secret~~ dashiki

I want to break trees

Acting funny, but I don't know why... 'Scuse me while I ~~kiss the sky~~ kiss this guy

Hendrix. Purple Haze

Simon & Garfunkel; Mrs. Robinson

Jesus loves you more than you will know

=

She’s a slut more than you could know—whoa, who, whoa!

From high school until two or three weeks ago, I thought the lyrics for Limp Bizkit's "Just Like This" were concerned about John Goodman's weight.

"...and we make sure that John Goodman beats fat"

The song randomly popped into my head a few weeks ago, and I was like "wait, that can't be right". So I looked up the correct lyrics which are "And we made sure that John kept them beats phat"