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I am straight (lemmy.world)
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[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 56 points 9 months ago

TIL therapists diagnose your sexuality.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 63 points 9 months ago

*guy walks in the room*

Therapist: *writes GAY in their notebook, underlines it*

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 19 points 9 months ago

"I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it!"

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 12 points 9 months ago

Mine diagnosed me as being sexually attracted to therapists. I told them that's not a sexuality and to continue analyzing me...

[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago

So are you still seeing them?

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago

Yes, but nothing's official

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

Are they brunette and wear glasses?

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[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 34 points 9 months ago

I mean yeah, he likes to have dudes suck his dick, but that doesn't make him gay, the guys sucking him are gay, duh.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 19 points 9 months ago

Beat the guy afterwards for being a dirty homo. That way nobody will think you're gay.

[-] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

it's okay if you suck a little dick, as long as you don't kiss him on the lips it's fine.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 points 9 months ago

Or if it's just a prank between bros

[-] rikudou@lemmings.world 30 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I think he's the straightest of them all. He's straight. He. Is. Straight.

Straight.

spoiler

Straight.

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 16 points 9 months ago

He's so straight (how straight is he?) - why he's so straight that he manages to like women, even though... oh uh I mean yeah he's straight! :-P

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 14 points 9 months ago

He's so straight he doesn't like anything with curves! Boobies? Nope. Pussy, not straight enough!

Booty? Dudes got straight, flat booty, not bad not bad. Dick? Straight as an arrow, my kinda body part!

Not gay just OCD for straight things and he just for some reason can't shake the need to put them in his mouth.

[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Around here, in less politically correct times there was once a comical sketch on TV of a guy who was so straight and liked women so much that he had a sex change operation to become a woman, and thus became a lesbian woman.

That's the ultimate straight guy right there!

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago
[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 24 points 9 months ago

Lol unrelated to this dude's issue, I wish I could just go to a therapist and vent, because I can't express myself like that to anyone in my life, I'm expected to be a supporter. But there's nothing clinically wrong with me

[-] matthewmercury@reddthat.com 48 points 9 months ago

My friend, you can just go to a therapist and vent, you do not need a clinical issue or diagnosis.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

And therefore pay out of pocket?

[-] sharkwellington@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I didn't realize it made a difference. I've had a few different insurances and it's always been covered to some extent if it's in-network. Never been asked to prove it was necessary.

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 4 points 9 months ago

Or make a meme about it and share with the entire internet, that works too. For instance, I once heard about this guy who was SUPER straight... (Pro-Tip: he ain't straight:-P).

[-] bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago

$100 per session maybe, go once a quarter

That's around the rate in my town anyway.

[-] johnlobo@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

go vent to some hooker or prostitute, it is cheaper.

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[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Get a cat.

Vent to the cat.

Therapists are professionally supposed to keep themselves distanced from the emotional state of the subject, but that comes naturally for cats because they couldn't care less about your feelings.

On the other hand, if you want some empathysing with what you're feeling, get a dog (ideally mid-sized or larger) instead.

PS: I'm only semi-kidding.

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[-] archomrade@midwest.social 9 points 9 months ago

One of those "if you're on time you're late" situations. The best time to go is before you need it

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

You just defined therapy. It's one kind of therapy, and it's expensive to use it for this purpose, but it's therapy.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

Obviously? I'm saying I'm in a band of people who don't have access to it without paying out of pocket, and taking a spot from someone with actual clinical issues

[-] doylio@lemmy.ca 8 points 9 months ago

You don't need a reason to see a therapist. And just because you don't have any easily diagnosable label for your mental state doesn't mean therapy couldn't improve your life. There is probably <1% of the world that are enlightened enough that they genuinely wouldn't benefit from the experience

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

If it isn't covered by insurance, I'm paying out of pocket to vent. No way.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 5 points 9 months ago

Try making a WordPress blog that no one will see.

I never thought to do this until I decided to make one to cover my attemp at learning the development "trade" but it devolved into me just ranting about my issues with myself lol

[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Feel you there. I need someone I can just talk to for like... 4 hours. Just dump everything out and get all the shit I went through outloud and try and process it that way. No one really knows what I went through. I tell bits and pieces to people but it's just way too much for most people and makes them feel weird or uncomfortable. I just need someone to listen and then tell me that I'm going to be okay or alright.

I need Data from Star Trek as a counsellor.

[-] criitz@reddthat.com 4 points 9 months ago

Just tell it all to ChatGPT 😁

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

Why pay a therapist to vent to when you have us :3

[-] KuroeNekoDemon@sh.itjust.works 14 points 9 months ago

Sure you are man. Sure you are. You know I thought I also experienced sexual attraction until I realized my own mother was correct that I am asexual. Welcome to the alphabet mafia (LGBTQ+ community)

[-] Cihta@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago
[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 7 points 9 months ago

And I can stop anytime I want to, I'm telling you! (bawls: I'm straight, I promise you I'm so straight...)

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

Reminds me of that old post about how someone hated weed because it made them want to suck their friend's dick

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 1 points 9 months ago
[-] joshoff@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 9 months ago

Find me this post please :D

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

I tried, got some interesting results but didn't find the post anywhere :(

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 months ago

Bruh, you gay as hell.

[-] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

That man is a gay homosexual.

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this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
416 points (97.3% liked)

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