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[-] CorrodedCranium@leminal.space 134 points 1 year ago

"Damn girl you shit with that ass?"

Has to be up there

[-] hutchmcnugget@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago

Are you from Mississippi? Because you're the only Miss whose piss I'd like to sippee.

[-] malamignasanmig@group.lt 27 points 1 year ago

congratulations. i thought that the comment above yours was the worst but you beat it by a mile.

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 year ago

I don't even know what to say. You win?

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[-] ZagamTheVile@lemmy.world 68 points 1 year ago

Not a pick up line but- "I don’t think I can do better than you and I know you can't do better than me, so I guess we should just get married." She sighed and said "yeah, you're probably right".

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 47 points 1 year ago

I dont wanna shit on you, but the "I cant do better than you" is sweet and I used it with my BF, but the "You can't do better than me" is many times used by abusive partners as a way to diminish their self-esteem and make sure that they dont leave them, because they really think they cant do better than their current abusive partner.

I believe you said it with the best intentions, but is something that people does.

[-] ZagamTheVile@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I hear you but context is important. She's good and safe, so am I. We have 2 kids together, been together for 20 years, have ducks, a rabbit, share all expenses and income exactly 50/50 and have had each others back through the worst of other people.

[-] Syndic@feddit.de 31 points 1 year ago

I'm not shitting on you, but "we have ducks" has to be the funniest justification why the relationship isn't abusive I've seen yet.

[-] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[-] ZagamTheVile@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

Yeah. Been together for like 20 years now.

[-] Mewtwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 year ago

You both sound like a solid 5

[-] ZagamTheVile@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Hey now. On a good day and if you squint, I could pass as a 6. Maybe 6.5.

[-] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Hell yeah. Nice.

[-] rikudou@lemmings.world 56 points 1 year ago

I once tried the most cliche of them all - did it hurt when you fell from heaven. She actually found it funny. In the sense that it's so stupid that it flips around and becomes funny. Nothing ever came of it but we had a nice chat on the otherwise empty train.

[-] Duchess@yiffit.net 8 points 1 year ago

imo the purpose of those cheesy lines is more to break the ice and get your prospective partner to laugh and loosen up rather than to swoon them, sounds like it worked to me.

[-] Thavron@lemmy.ca 48 points 1 year ago

At a club, I just asked her "Wanna make out?" and we did. Very weird that worked.

[-] Maven@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

I use this a lot and people seem to appreciate the honesty.

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago

Bingus bongus I want your shlongus

(It still worked)

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 32 points 1 year ago

"Did you know you can save 15% or more by switching to Geico?"

[-] Pratai@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 year ago

Me: Have you ever had your bellybutton kissed?

Her: Yes, of course I have.

Me: From the inside?

It didn’t work, but she laughed.

[-] peter@feddit.uk 15 points 1 year ago

My immediate thought was pregnancy

[-] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

yeah what is this supposed to imply?

[-] rikudou@lemmings.world 6 points 1 year ago

That he wanted to crawl into her vagina and bite his way through to the belly button? IDK, I'm not a belly-button fetishist.

[-] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 2 points 1 year ago

Maybe we just found the account of an alien chestburster.

[-] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

They're a cunning limguist.

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[-] mar_k@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In high school, I dm'd a guy in my class "you're handsome bro"

His response was something like, "you too man I appreciate it!"

We both assumed each other were straight after that, but like a week before graduation, he randomly tells me he had a crush on me. And when I tell him I felt the same, he was like "damn I assumed that DM was probably only a compliment"

[-] gamer@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Lost opportunity for love because he ignored the “no homo” rule. Tragic.

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[-] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

Not a line per say but my friend and I were shooting pool against 2 dudes randomly. One serenaded us with Bruno Mars “Just the Way You Are.” A short while after he randomly proceeded to guess both of our weights very incorrectly. lol I guess we made him a nervous.

[-] homoludens@feddit.de 11 points 1 year ago
[-] infamousbelgian@waste-of.space 20 points 1 year ago

In a man vie theater: STFU to a girl a row behind me. It worked.

[-] siewyuk 11 points 1 year ago

I don't get it. He told her to STFU? And she liked it and was "picked up"?

[-] infamousbelgian@waste-of.space 17 points 1 year ago

Sorry, lots of typos in previous message.

So yes, I was in a cinema and told a girl to stfu. Next day she saw me in a bar, recognized me and was like: “fuck that, you told me to stfu. It was you.” We dated for a month or so.

[-] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

"Hey, you like Rob Zombie movies?" (We have been together for 7 years now.)

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 16 points 1 year ago

I feel like we need to add the extra constraint to the question, and worked. What's the worst pick up line you ever used that worked.

[-] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Naw, I think this is better. I've seen the "... and worked" version of this question lots of times, but I want the actual bottom of the barrel this time.

Don't get me wrong; "... and worked" still yields funny answers every time, but this is more interesting to me.

[-] Helix@feddit.de 16 points 1 year ago

"I shat in my bed, can I sleep in yours?"

[-] siewyuk 10 points 1 year ago

Amber Heard, is that you?

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

When I was an edgy and cynical generic college liberal, I once said "Hello. How would you like to join me for a predictable 'eat or drink something' ritual that implies politely that I am sexually attracted to you?" very-intelligent

It worked for a brief relationship, but still. Not exactly strong foundations were laid with that. cringe

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

That's such a Bazinga type pickup line lmao

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Yes, it was. soypoint-1

Watching team America at the movies, leaned over to my date and said "I promise I will never die"

Worked a treat!

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this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
130 points (97.1% liked)

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