My favorite one is this.
I think there was only one that suggests pressing the lock door button. But apparently that’s not a universal feature because most of the suggestions tell him to press a button on the touch screen console
I am reminded of the tech joke about how actual sysadmins have no technology in their home more recent than a mimeograph machine and they carry a loaded gun in case the mimeograph starts behaving in an unexpected manner.
It's true. I've been telling people recently that I'm not looking forward to whenever I end up buying a new car. My car has a key that unlocks the doors, and sticks into the steering column to turn the car on. I can pull that key out and kill the car in the process, and that process is all mechanical (to my knowledge, anyway). It doesn't even have that "OnStar" shit in it. So no GPS connections, no satellite link-ups. The most advanced thing it has is a tiny backup camera and BT in the radio.
The next car I buy might as well come with 
as the copilot.
Every modern car is just this, but for real:
edit: and one more thing! The amount of lawsuits Tesla has been subject to where they pull out the data logs for the victim's car and weaponize it against them is fucking insane. The fact that we know that it was shown that Teslas deactivate Autopilot seconds before a crash, and as far as I know nothing was done about it, doesn't make me interested in a fucking 7 ton computer that drives at highway speeds. They have used that "data" to say that people killed while using FSD had "Disabled Autopilot" which means their software wasn't at fault. Or they'll just say that the logs were lost but it definitely wasn't FSD that was at fault.
Edit again! I'm fired up here!
THIS WILL BE MY NEXT CAR, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!
are the logs not available on the car itself??? At this point there should be a law mandating something about the integrity and authenticity of the logs.
We can’t even get cops to keep their body cameras on despite laws about it, joke country.
your car most likely has a black box of sorts if it's new enough to have OEM backup camera and bluetooth. https://rislone.com/blog/general/does-my-car-have-a-black-box/
However it's not remotely operated and not going to kill you, but it could rat on you to the police/your insurance. Its just as likely to exonerate you though I guess. Far less scummy overall
My solution to this was to stop driving lol. Newest car I ever owned was a 2003, now I have an ebike that's about as dumb as a box of rocks. Most sophisticated thing in it is the motor controller.
The nearby carshare system is even worse though when I do have to get a car, they have a lot of the new whiz bang tracking features, in addition to literally being lojacked and having cameras with video and audio facing front and back.
Oh shit. You can't rent a car to do crimes anymore can you.
mixed bag but it probably hasn't been a great idea for ages. I haven't actually seen cameras in regular rental cars yet but I'm certain they gps track them at least. Same with rental trucks from the hardware store. Seems like fleet vehicles were the first to get the cameras (and attendant machine learning monitoring your driving), but it's spreading. And its all 4G streaming video too (probably with some significant limits for bandwidth purposes, maybe it only streams a low res by default or slow stream of thumbnails)
I know where the cellular transceiver is in my car. I had to really root around to find where it was. I haven't removed it because you have to take the whole console apart and even then disabling it involves some iffy wiring fuckery, and I've just never had the gumption to actually do it (depression sucks for opsec).
But it's there. I figured out that it was there when I got e-mails containing information that could only have come from someone with remote access to the car. I have no idea what other capabilities are hidden in the software but at the very least it can tattle on me to unknown third parties. I hate it so much.
predictably, when I was asking around on forums to find out how to disable it, everyone on the forums though I was a quack. : p
This is a FACT. I have computers (running linux and usually powered off when not in use), and a TV that I never connect to the internet and disable anything smart on it (if it ever breaks I'll either not replace it or go for one that's fully dumb since literally all it offers me are security vulnerabilities). What little use the TV gets is via a raspberry pi using mostly software that I wrote myself or is FOSS. Besides that the smartest thing in here is a damn toaster.
I like technology, sometimes anyhow, but corpo shit is simply not trustworthy nor well designed. If I can't rewire it or put my own software on it I'm not interested. A modded espresso machine with FOSS firmware and sensors and stuff? cool, sure, love it. A smart soldering iron with USB PD and temperature control? dope. But once you start getting into wifi and bluetooth and locked down software territory, it's a no from me. I begrudgingly tolerate my printer and my TV, but the printer predates the web and has a hard on/off switch, and the TV is on a switched outlet
I keep my old dumb TV because (a) it doesn't gossip about me, and (b) has every legacy connection under the sun, a godsend for my ancient consoles.
I'll likely never buy a TV again, and I'm starting to feel like I should stockpile some monitors with all this "AI" bs getting stuffed in to them. You will own nothing but all your stuff will spy on you and you will be happy or else.
I know a guy who gets upset when anyone calls him by name or posts his picture on the internet, but has a ring camera on his front door and an echo in his house. I don't understand it at all.
I would like to have a super-locked down home network but I don't have the technical skill or mental wherewithal (depression is bad for opsec) for it. Even then, I've done a huge amount of customization to my windows PC, gutted as much of the bloatware and spyware as I can, run firefox with a bunch of privacy features, I do what I can within the scope of my limited abilities and my friends tend to think I'm a nut for caring so much about it.
It's very frustrating. The amount of invasive surveillance is truly incredible, but even people who do see the danger aren't nearly as upset about it as they need to be.
If I can't flash the firmware, it doesnt connect to my wifi. Once, I was seduced into connecting a smart tv to my WiFi by its really cool remote that acted as a mouse pointer. I really wanted to control jellyfin with it instead of a wireless mouse and keyboard. Bad idea. After constant updates it eventually rejected my computer's HDMI connection to it. Must've been some stupid DRM anti feature. If I had a gun I would've shot the tv for such insolence. Luckily I dont and I calmly did a factory reset and learned my lesson.
Finding out that HDMI cables have built in IP censorship systems was a bad day for me. : | What the fuck kind of data cable evaluates and locks out "unacceptable" data?!
Wait. They have inbuilt what now?
The spec is designed to allow enforcement of DRM but i think its up to the devices on either end to enforce that not the cable itself.
Its to prevent people from ripping movies by playing it to a computer thats recording the input instead of a display. But it can also be used by TVs to say "fuck your laptop".
I'm afraid I don't really know the details.
This is extremely true, I had to get an IoT device for a niche task and I have wireshark set up to make sure its not doing anything sus. I keep it unplugged at all times I'm not using it just in case. I hate these things, all they do is let people turn them into botnets.
I'm on this bandwagon myself. The only smart devices I'm interested in owning are my PC, phone, and work laptop - everything else needs to be dumb enough for me to fix on my own if it breaks, or I'm not buying it.
"she can't think of two things at once (one thing at once is a struggle half the time)"
i cant fucking IMAGINE being able to talk about your own child like that. hope she kills him
I couldn't stop laughing at the irony. "my child is an absolute smooth brained parasite, do you think my magic car with wizard driving alchemy will keep her stupid female brain from killing herself?
Right! The first thing that stood out to me, what trash
Yeah I hope this fucker dies a painful death
I don't think the description itself is inherently problematic - some of us really do have problems like this. But considering his post starts off with citing her IQ points and quoting his condescending mother (that no one asked for) and just being an overall annoying piece of shit, I imagine he said that in bad faith.
idk, i'm disabled in such a way that i will likely never be able to drive, but i'm lucky enough to be able to know that my family would fuckign never speak about me that. theres a difference between "lerios can't drive, yeah no hy has some trouble with motor control" vs "my low IQ faildaughter is confident and qualified but will definitely explode my car and is too stupid to realise it" - and there is a massive fucking difference between saying that sort of shit to like family friends vs saying it to some random freaks on reddit.
the one guy actually wishing for 
If he's anything like the randoms I've played with in Forza he'll go full speed into a turn and bounce the car off a barrier.
I saw a tiktok of a woman who was locked in her Tesla while it was updating for over half an hour. The car had an internal temp of 38 celcius (idk, something like 100+ farhenheit) aircon off due to update and the doors wouldn't open until it finished. Bazingas Dies In Hot Cars.
Edit: oh and she ended the tiktok with 'and my chik fil a has been ready for thirty minutes'
38°C
Exactly 100°F, according to Google.
She wasn't "locked" in her car. She had every opportunity to use the door's emergency release to exit the car, but she chose not to because she was afraid of the possibility of damaging the car (and so that she could film a TikTok.)
It is however a design error that the car doesn't require all occupants to exit the vehicle before starting the update.
https://jalopnik.com/a-tiktoker-got-trapped-inside-her-115-degree-tesla-mode-1851404777
It shouldn't even force people to go outside, the entire door/locking firmware should be running on a separate microcontroller and entirely independant from the state of the main computer. An actual firmware update of a microcontroller takes a 1-2 minutes at most and should be done when the user is least likely to use the car (e.g. midnight). This is such absolute garbage engineering it is unbelievable.
Imagine your baby is in the car and you are trapped outside in Arizona summer because the car's operating system just shit the bed. I am an engineer and and I always design for the absolute worst case scenario within the system's paremeters. This takes time and money and it makes me furious that these SV companies just pump out crap that can and will affect real people beyond a buggy app. This isn't a fucking party planner app update.
You couldn't pay me to drive a Tesla. Those things are fucking dumb, hate having to rely on touchscreens or janky software to control a car. It's all kinds of dangerous.
Also good lord, I feel bad for that guys daughter
Right? I'm still upset that cars don't have a backup option to manually roll down the windows
Man, that final one is soo condescending.
...and that guy who clearly cheats on his wife...
Teslas have killed about twice as many people as the Ford Pinto did at a roughly similar level of sales
I would love to have a source for this, because this is too hilarious to leave to anecdote. 
Google is your friend, but yeah, this was probably true not long ago. From a very cursory search: the pinto sold 3 million units and killed at a bare minimum 27 people. tesla is now creeping up on 5 million total vehicles and 95 deaths from battery fires or autopilot crashes: https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-deaths
Same ballpark
The difference between a company that's multiple generations separated from its fascist founder vs. a company that's currently run by its fascist """founder""""
Turbo-American car brain (Americar?): wearing a t-shirt and shorts to go out in 24°F weather, because you'll rely on the car to do all the heating for you.
The car will erase the sensation of seasons, on its way to the full erasure of Gaia herself.
Teslas are like a high budget version of the challenge cars they used to make on Top Gear
With roughly the same quality control.
Oh no! The Tesla unlocked its doors and windows overnight again and played "Let's Get It On", a song I never listen to! The car smelled kinda weird when I got in it, and the only people in my house were me and my incredibly loyal wife. Any other Tesla owners deal with something similar?
To not format links as old.reddit.com, this is the nineteenth type of liberalism
I kid. I appreciate the thread, I think. I'm upset and nauseous but that was one hell of a read
Forgive me comrade! I've fixed my liberalism.
Tesla could really learn from octopuses, whose tentacles freely continue their purposes without pause as the core receives new orders from the locker.
Do these people think cars should work like some indie pc game? Because it reads like it.
the next update will let you collect tesla parts* and craft a new car in your garage
*must be activated with credit card
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
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