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[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 80 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

There's a whole group of unreconstructed 2017 liberals who have been holding out like those Japanese soldiers on the Pacific islands after WWII

They are reading the Steele Dossier and talking about Carter Page. They have memorized every Tweet that Louise Mensch ever posted. They know that Putin is gearing up to steal another election. They are breathlessly sharing EPIC CLAPBACKS by Nancy Pelosi. They are replying to r/politics posts by u/PoppinKREAM. They are analyzing the attire of world leaders in obsessive detail in case there might be a snarky broach. They are awaiting this verdict with bated breath. The fate of democracy, no, the world is literally at stake

These people are as detached from reality as the most Q-pilled uncle, but they are at least much less likely to own a gun, and plunking them down in front of CNN or NPR can have a soothing effect if they get too agitated and start thinking about doing anything that might have an actual impact on the world

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 44 points 5 months ago

For me the funniest thing is that this trial is by far the least important one and it probably ends up being unimportant. If he's found guilty on most of the charges - he's not exactly going to jail. I bet he'll get ~6 months of probation. If New York State law stipulates that Trump must meet with this probation officer in person - I'm sure the judge will create a special situation. The officer will to go to Trump which - of course - is the polar opposite of how to works for 99.99+% of people.

With a guilty verdict - Trump might lose some independents but he's the cult leader of the republican party. Libs will be shocked (Shocked!) that "MAGA republicans" and "republicans" mean pretty much the same thing.

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 39 points 5 months ago

I said when they first charged him that if Trump spends even a single day in prison I will eat my own dick and I stand by it

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 33 points 5 months ago
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[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Huh, is /u/poppinKREAM still around? Figured somebody paying that close attention would have radicalized at some point in the last 7 years.

Edit: jesus christ they still are, how pathetic

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[-] flan@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

Tick, Tock Drumpf.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 70 points 5 months ago

Can someone write and shoot a porno where this trial was about the Stormy Daniels thing, and they make a big show about how her description of his penis is so distinct and unique that it must really be true, then juror number 8 slams down a dildo on the table that fits the description perfectly?

IDK just putting it out there.

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 40 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Donald Train: smirks “Your honor… if my dick does not fit, you must acquit.” unzips pants

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 35 points 5 months ago

With music and lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda

[-] Jew@hexbear.net 59 points 5 months ago

Dominos made a tracker for libs? A cracker tracker, have you cracker

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 46 points 5 months ago

Start - Prep - Cook - GET HIS ASS - Out For Delivery

[-] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 58 points 5 months ago

Is that the fucking Domino's delivery app UI

[-] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

if they dont deliver a verdict in 30 minutes its free

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

Domino's® Trump Tracker™

[-] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 23 points 5 months ago

It does look a lot like that. It would be hilarious if Domino's sued CNN for using a similar UX to their patented pizza tracker.

[-] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 51 points 5 months ago

I caught a bit of some ghouls on MSNBC who were really digging into what they imagine the perception is of the trial among the average American

I laughed out loud and said "normal americans do not give a shit about this" and made the MSNBC watcher angry

[-] TrudeauCastroson@hexbear.net 35 points 5 months ago

When John Edwards ran in 2008 and paid hush money to prevent word of him cheating on his wife who had cancer, he was able to get away with not calling that an illegal campaign expense because he argued it would hurt his reputation regardless of if he was running or not.

I saw a poll that there are non-maga republicans who would not vote for Trump if he is found guilty. Who fucking cares about campaign finance law when it comes to the candidate paying for an NDA instead of getting bribed by lobbyists, and who cares about hiding it as a business expense (which it kind-of is because Trump businesses heavily rely on his personal branding).

All these prosecutors clearly want to be the first to get Trump's ass for their later political careers, Trump does what everyone else does but less competently with worse lawyers.

[-] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I honestly forgot that about Edwards lmao

Makes it even funnier

[-] MaxOS@hexbear.net 48 points 5 months ago
[-] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 35 points 5 months ago

I’ve heard the walls are closing in on him

[-] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 32 points 5 months ago

Step 13: ah, well, nevertheless

[-] goose@hexbear.net 38 points 5 months ago

I need a needle in order to understand this

[-] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 37 points 5 months ago

I wonder if they actually expect anything to come of this.

[-] VILenin@hexbear.net 44 points 5 months ago

It comes from the aggressive cracker privilege of being able to treat the empire as a great spectacle where the most horrifying thing to ever happen is how Donald J. Trump used a butter knife the wrong way as he ordered the murder of non-whites across the globe. Once this attempt falls through, they’ll try going after him for not being fascist enough and daring to pretend to be nice to the ~~inscrutable orientals~~ North Koreans and Russians, which, to be fair, is the one angle that has a non-zero of actually succeeding (though, obviously, the difference is so small that it is practically zero.)

[-] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

Even if Trump actually gets sentenced and put behind bars, that will only further empower him

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

cheeto-man emerges from the plastic magneto prison while a bunch of technicians in white jumpsuits freak out

[-] MinekPo1@lemmy.ml 32 points 5 months ago

bruh jury deliberation can take days , no need to check up on them every few minutes

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago

LITERALLY the dumbest shit, omg

[-] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago

I refuse to learn who Lev Parnas is.

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

He's responsible for the huge lies about the Bidens' business interests in Ukraine that nobody should believe because we have lying eyes that lie to us.

There's nothing remotely suspicious about Hunter Biden getting a do nothing job at an oil corporation in a political hotbed, just as said oil company was being investigated for corruption charges that mysteriously went away after pressure from the US government. Those are all coincidences. You conspiracy theorist. The fact that the state department admitted the US pressured Ukraine to fire the prosecutor to make the corruption investigations go away is irrelevant, they were doing that because he wasn't doing enough about corruption.

[-] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

I refuse to learn what a Jamie Raskin is. It sounds like a disease.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

It's a rare skin condition, you can tell because it has the word "skin" in it.

[-] VILenin@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago

Gonna be funny when they quietly remove the “Sentencing (if guilty verdict)” box

[-] chungusamonugs@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

This is really his first criminal trial? Dudes been doing illegal shit since birth.

Tax fraud, housing discrimination, wage theft, collaborating with jefferey fucking epstien. You can really get away with anything if you're born rich in this country.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

Epstein was assassinated and the libs entirely forgot all about him within so many weeks or so - I don't remember exactly. And the Qanon people had already been ignoring Epstein so they didn't care. And least the Qanon people have an excuse for their delusions and myopia. They're crazy.

You can really get away with anything if you're born rich in this country.

That's the most important thing but - of course - the libs will entirely ignore it. 99.99999+% of Americans would have gone immediately to jail (in pre-trail detention) if they had 1/100th of the files Trump kept in Mar-a-Lago. And then they would have been convicted and sentenced to decades in jail. But Trump's handpicked judge will make sure his case don't go to trial before the election. And if he loses the election - she'll surely kill it.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

They've slow walked the entire thing so as to cross every t and dot every i and preserve faith in our institutions and all its done is make the case that the institutions are fucking broken as all hell and the powerful do not face consequences.

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago
[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 20 points 5 months ago

It was Juror #5 in the Billiard Room with the Candlestick!

[-] rubpoll@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

So what's funnier... he gets exonerated and becomes President again? Or he gets convicted and becomes President again? I imagine the latter would fry the brains of liberals significantly harder.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

Or he gets convicted and becomes President again.

That - by far - is worse for the lib psyche. The conviction will prove to be utterly meaningless. Also Trump can then use his presidency to end the two federal trials and I assume it will be fairly easy for him to kill the Georgia trial too. And that will be that!

[-] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

meh, tell me when the Alec Baldwin trial happens. now that's one I wanna see

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 5 months ago

Even US courts have that delivery thing where you can see the progress of your package? This is just really unsettling to me.

[-] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

They'll vote for him and he can win even if he murdered someone on live tv

There's no winners, but the damage won't hit the US no matter the votes

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this post was submitted on 29 May 2024
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