1034
submitted 2 years ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
all 43 comments
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[-] hakase@lemm.ee 118 points 2 years ago

They need to hurry up and tow that windmill outside of the environment.

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 years ago

That's it. From now on no more making turbines out of cardboard.

[-] Plopp@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago

How about cardboard derivatives?

[-] kibiz0r@midwest.social 19 points 2 years ago

Cardboard derivative operations are extremely dangerous. They increase the risk of wind spills by 2008%.

Search “CDOs 2008 disaster” for more info.

[-] msage@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago

How in the hell did you get this much genious into one comment?

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago
[-] Plopp@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

That's a great idea. We can just funnel the wind through the straws straight to the equipment that needs power.

[-] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 2 years ago

A SERIES Of TUBES!

[-] Senseless@feddit.de 10 points 2 years ago

But where would they tow that windmill to, if it's not in the environment?

[-] friendly_ghost@beehaw.org 17 points 2 years ago

It"s not in the environment, it's beyond the environment

[-] hakase@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

But there's got to be something out there!?

[-] Tja@programming.dev 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There's nothing out there! Just sea, and fish. And the part of the ~~ship~~ windmill where the front fell off. And a fire.

[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 64 points 2 years ago

I’d feel so much better if that field was covered in oil and set on fire. America has lost its values.

[-] ExpiredSalad@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

A little extreme but I get it

[-] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 57 points 2 years ago

This has happened before and they did nothing about it. It will happen again. When are people gonna realize these things are not our friends?

[-] tsonfeir@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

[-] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 31 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Can't they just spin it backwards to get the wind back in the wind turbine?

[-] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

That will just leak wind upwards instead of downwards.

[-] Tronn4@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago

Someone take an assload of Dawn Liquid Soap and let's scrub all the wildlife clean!

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

I was there and got some of the wind on me. Most of it is in my butt crack. Chop chop, get scrubbing.

[-] Tronn4@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

You're first... smacks lips

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

You know what they say: first is the worst, but second is the best. Your turn! applies minty lip balm

[-] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

It's nature's pocket. Also make sure Tronn4 doesn't pick your pocket.

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Eh, he's earned the 3 Werther's Originals I carry in my pocket

[-] Today@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

We have to save the duckies!

[-] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 29 points 2 years ago

Imagine an alternate world where this was real. Where using too much solar power caused the earth to cool, and wind spills were a real issue that everybody feared, but oil was a truly renewable resource given to us by mother Earth herself.

People would tout the virtues of solar panels, saying that there's no evidence they actually make the Earth colder, secretly scheming for their free power. More and more wind turbines would be built, slowly reducing the winds of the Earth, except for periodic wind spills flattening Farmers Fields.

Hydroelectric dams would be built, but the level of the world's oceans would slowly drop, causing cities on the coast to no longer be on the coast after a couple centuries.

Honestly, I would absolutely read this story/watch this movie.

[-] asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago
[-] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 2 years ago

Oil would be this amazing renewable resource. All we had to do was dump our waste in the mariana trench and within a few years, it would spring up everywhere as oil.

[-] bestusername@aussie.zone 16 points 2 years ago
[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Is she crying or did Morbo give her a black eye?

NM. Zooming in I can see the streaks

[-] bestusername@aussie.zone 2 points 2 years ago

It's makeup running because of sweat.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Wholly believable

[-] CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Here's just one example, the government reversed the video of this tornado which clearly spilled out of a collapsing wind machine. Joking, but I would wager someone believes that.

[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

That water is gonna STAIN!

[-] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago

Ok that's a good one.

[-] moody@lemmings.world 3 points 2 years ago
[-] Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

The only tragedy here is that there are people bumb enough to believe this.

[-] ColdWater@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

So you don't believe wind spill all over the farmer's field?

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I know right? Those bumb people.

this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
1034 points (99.3% liked)

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