They need to hurry up and tow that windmill outside of the environment.
That's it. From now on no more making turbines out of cardboard.
How about cardboard derivatives?
Cardboard derivative operations are extremely dangerous. They increase the risk of wind spills by 2008%.
Search “CDOs 2008 disaster” for more info.
How in the hell did you get this much genious into one comment?
Like drink straws?
That's a great idea. We can just funnel the wind through the straws straight to the equipment that needs power.
A SERIES Of TUBES!
But where would they tow that windmill to, if it's not in the environment?
It"s not in the environment, it's beyond the environment
But there's got to be something out there!?
There's nothing out there! Just sea, and fish. And the part of the ~~ship~~ windmill where the front fell off. And a fire.
I’d feel so much better if that field was covered in oil and set on fire. America has lost its values.
A little extreme but I get it
This has happened before and they did nothing about it. It will happen again. When are people gonna realize these things are not our friends?
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Can't they just spin it backwards to get the wind back in the wind turbine?
That will just leak wind upwards instead of downwards.
Someone take an assload of Dawn Liquid Soap and let's scrub all the wildlife clean!
I was there and got some of the wind on me. Most of it is in my butt crack. Chop chop, get scrubbing.
You're first... smacks lips
You know what they say: first is the worst, but second is the best. Your turn! applies minty lip balm
It's nature's pocket. Also make sure Tronn4 doesn't pick your pocket.
Eh, he's earned the 3 Werther's Originals I carry in my pocket
We have to save the duckies!
Imagine an alternate world where this was real. Where using too much solar power caused the earth to cool, and wind spills were a real issue that everybody feared, but oil was a truly renewable resource given to us by mother Earth herself.
People would tout the virtues of solar panels, saying that there's no evidence they actually make the Earth colder, secretly scheming for their free power. More and more wind turbines would be built, slowly reducing the winds of the Earth, except for periodic wind spills flattening Farmers Fields.
Hydroelectric dams would be built, but the level of the world's oceans would slowly drop, causing cities on the coast to no longer be on the coast after a couple centuries.
Honestly, I would absolutely read this story/watch this movie.
Me too
Oil would be this amazing renewable resource. All we had to do was dump our waste in the mariana trench and within a few years, it would spring up everywhere as oil.
Is she crying or did Morbo give her a black eye?
NM. Zooming in I can see the streaks
It's makeup running because of sweat.
Wholly believable
Here's just one example, the government reversed the video of this tornado which clearly spilled out of a collapsing wind machine. Joking, but I would wager someone believes that.
That water is gonna STAIN!
Ok that's a good one.
The only tragedy here is that there are people bumb enough to believe this.
So you don't believe wind spill all over the farmer's field?
I know right? Those bumb people.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
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