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[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 4 months ago

Funny answer: their dog won't let them leave the room if they smell too much.

Slightly serious answer: bidets are magic.

If there were bidets everywhere, I'd be willing to leave my cave more often.

[-] JeSuisUnHombre@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago

Using a public bidet sounds like an awful idea.

It's easier than waddling over to the sink and fitting my ass in there.

[-] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

This is why I'm banned from Sea World.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

But you don't make as many friends.

[-] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Have you seen Perfect Days?

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Go live in Japan. Literally bidets everywhere even in public places. My butt had never been so consistently clean.

I did for a year. Squat toilets in public places.

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

I only saw the squat toilets in more remote places but anywhere in the cities had bidets.

I saw them in schools, train stations, parks, etc., all over Hiroshima city.

[-] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago
[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

That's like evil Skittles

[-] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

The lick test.

[-] invisiblegorilla@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

There's an app where you can have a seeing person help you. I think its meant for shopping and navigating places but I don't see why they couldn't be used as paper checkers

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Are you thinking of Zoom/Teams?

[-] invisiblegorilla@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

Bemyeyes.com

[-] ShunkW@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

How can you not tell by feel?

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 13 points 4 months ago

They smell the paper.

Ever since I learned this I started doing it too, because it’s more effective than visual inspection alone.

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

If the shit tickets don’t stick to the wall the asshole isn’t poopy anymore.

[-] Birch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 months ago

Is this the answer to the mystery of the state of public bathrooms?

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Yes, it's all blind people's fault.

[-] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 months ago

I got this far down the thread before stifling a laugh at work. Well done.

[-] Summzashi@lemmy.one 11 points 4 months ago

This whole thread is nothing but jokes. The real answer is they wipe their butthole with their finger and then press their fingers together to feel if it's at all sticky.

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 4 months ago

Get yourself a travel bidet <$20 on Amazon, and start with that. You use warm tap water from your commode.

No installation, but a bit of practice.

My proctologist ranted about general bad wiping habits in the US that damage the hemorrhoid tissue over time. Don't spend your life in sin and misery as I have in the House of the Rising Sun, and stick to only dabbing with bathroom tissue, and use bidets to do the heavy cleaning.

[-] morphballganon@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Even people with functioning eyes miss some sometimes.

[-] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 4 months ago

I personally don't ever have to look and I'm glad I don't have to

[-] HereIAm@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

You sound more confident than you maybe should :P

[-] sc2pirate@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Lot of jokes here, my brother repeatedly has told me he is disgusted by the fact that we look at toilet paper to tell if we are clean. Granted he would have to get the TP very close to his face to be able to see anything. He says he just wipes until he is clean. Not an exciting answer, but that's what I got.

[-] kyle@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

Years ago, I saw this question and someone commented on Reddit that they bring wet wipes with them when they go out.

[-] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago
[-] NoSpotOfGround@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

That video never really answers the question...

[-] MP3Martin@programming.dev 2 points 4 months ago
[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Bidet no need to look or wipe.

[-] Tramort@programming.dev 1 points 4 months ago

How often do you visually check your butthole when wiping?

We are all blind in the bathroom, my friend.

[-] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 42 points 4 months ago
[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

This. Who doesn't?

[-] Firoaren@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 months ago

??? Wtf people, check yo ass, jesus

Fuckin christ, dude. Get some hygiene.

[-] PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 4 months ago

I have a live feed camera in my toilet. Every time I take a shit, I get out my phone and watch the footage so I can inspect both the turd and my asshole and plan my wiping strategy accordingly.

[-] brb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

You check the paper, not your butthole

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Please speak for yourself.

[-] brb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

Huh? How do you check it if not with the paper?

[-] FmbyMF@lemmy.world -2 points 4 months ago

They insert a finger to see if there's any more mush.

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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
64 points (84.0% liked)

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