Ah, incentive to not treat patients properly for better ratings this cannot go wrong

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE IT SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR AMERIKKKAN "HEALTH CARE" AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR IT. HATE. HATE.

They should make a Doctor Judy reality TV show where poor people go to a studio set that looks like a real hospital, but the doctor who examines them is actually a chiropractor who got their PhD from the University of American Samoa

A guy is in his hospital bed suffering. Things are about to get worse.

A woman comes in. She's wearing a lab coat and she has a clipboard. She's jaunty. "And how are we today?"

"I don't know how we feel. I feel awful. How do you feel? And who are you?"

"Good-good-good. She turns her clipboard around for a moment to show him "See these highlighted parts?" She turns it back around to face her. She points - "That's your prognosis. "And these..." She points quickly and flips the page. She ends up pointing nine times. "Are the components of your bill."

"Who are you?"

"Do ya know how you can possibly greatly reduce your bill by removing some components? I see here I see here without component deduction that your bill's gonna come to more than one point one mil. That's significant."

"Who are you?"

"You can also possibly get a better prognosis too. If you become eligible - we got a world-renown specialist who can fly in from the Mayo Clinic. No charge to you."

"Who are you?"

"I'm rep for the entertainment division of the hospital."

"The what?"

"The entertainment division of the hospital. I guess I was misinformed and you didn't already know about your opportunity to become part of the reality tv series we are going to be filming..."

american ninja warrior: cancer edition

They saw Mr. Beast medical explotation video and tought to themselves they could make money with that too.

"We've discovered a way to bolster our faltering profit margins that we have been maintaining by cutting staff. We'll just film everything instead!"

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