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Saying "it's a yes or no question" is not always fair. (discuss.online)
submitted 2 months ago by lriv724@discuss.online to c/unpopularopinion@lemmy.world
33 comments fedilink hide all child comments

In some ways it seems manipulative. Sometimes it is indeed a yes or no question, but most people know that certain answers require further explanation. It gives off the impression that you don’t wanna hear someone’s side of the story/debate. Sometimes “yes, but” or “no, but” is warranted.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 21 points 2 months ago

I've only used and heard this phrase used when it's a simple matter of yes or no and no other input is warranted at all.

"Are you hungry?" "Are you cold?" "Do you wanna go home?" "Am I lined up?" "Did they win?" "Is it ready?"

None of these need more than a yes or a no as a response. Nobody needs to hear your whole life story just because they asked if you were comfortable in the chair you're sitting in. It was a yes or no question.

[-] dsilverz@thelemmy.club 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Do you wanna go home?

This is one example of a question that does not necessarily fits the dichotomy of yes/no. I'll give some hypothetical scenarios below:

Scenario 1: Alice is at her workplace, but she's feeling sick, a strong headache and palpitation. Bob, his boss, asks "Hey Alice, you seem to not be feeling well. Do you wanna go home?". If she simply replies "No", it'd imply that she wants to continue to be at work. If she replies "yes", it'd imply that she'll go straight to her home, without seeking a hospital. Her correct answer here would be "Actually I wanna go to the hospital".

Scenario 2: Charlie and Dean, are buying groceries at the supermarket. At the check-out, Charlie, who'll pay their purchase, realizes he forgot his card at his home (they don't use payment apps, neither cash). Dean asks "Do you wanna go home?". If "yes", it'd imply the abandonment of the purchase. If "no", Charlie have no way of paying the purchase. Charlie is thinking of going to an ATM where his biometrics are alternative to access his bank account via the ATM so he can withdraw some cash. His correct answer here would be "Actually I'm going to an ATM"

I know the scenarios aren't great scenarios, I'm out of examples here. Also, I dunno if I'm too much of a detail-oriented person, but I cannot see a fitting place for a simple yes or no here.

[-] illi@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

"Are you hungry?"

You can not be hungry and still want to eat something. Or not be hungry now, but you know you probably soon will be.

"Are you cold?"

It happens you are not cold enough to say you are cold, but not entirely comfortable either

[-] lriv724@discuss.online -4 points 2 months ago

Did you miss the part where I said “story/debate?” None of the questions you put fit that description. I even mentioned that there are some questions that do indeed only need a yes or no.

[-] lriv724@discuss.online -5 points 2 months ago

And I like how when I keep the same energy as you do I get downvoted. How soft lmao.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

this is in no way an unpopular opinion.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Well that's just like, your unpopular opinion, man

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

bruh! bruhhh....

[-] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago

“It’s a yes or no question” = “I want a yes or no answer”

[-] lriv724@discuss.online 4 points 2 months ago

But not everything will be just a yes or no answer.

[-] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

The question was presented as yes or no. It's your prerogative to want to provide additional information, it is the prerogative of the asker to want a simple answer. It's inconsistent to champion the desires of the responder while disregarding the desires of the asker. Unless there's some kind of power imbalance (e.g. employer/employee), every party is entitled to engage with others as they see fit.

[-] lriv724@discuss.online 2 points 2 months ago

Horrible way of thinking but go off I guess

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Depends on the context, but 9/10 times when someone busts it out they're interrogating someone and trying to paint them as attempting to squirm out of a solid answer.

You'll see this a lot in congressional hearings, it's a great way to look like you're really pinning the bad guy of the week industrialist to whatever angle you're pushing.

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 9 points 2 months ago

Or when the question is a rhetorical trap

Did you stop beating your wife?

[-] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Everybody thinks differently.

When talking to someone like that, just explain that for you to view it like that, first all the context needs spelled out.

Like:

Should you ever burn your house down?

Treat it like a straight yes/no question and the answer is "no". 99.99999% that's the answer.

But what if there's like, a really big spider? Or the thing from The Thing and you're in Antarctica?

Don't frame it as an excuse for why someone did something, ask for or provide the context. Be empathetic and think like the person you're talking to, don't argue with them treat it as as small independent steps that led or leads to what they're asking about.

[-] Zatore@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

This is definitely true, but not an unpopular opinion.

[-] Sundial@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

The correct time to use this statement is when providing backstory or explanations is not relevant. Some actions can be excused or explained, others cannot. Sometimes people like to overcomplicate things for the sake of justifying something that isn't or shouldn't be justifiable. Stating that a questions is a yes or no question is essentially saying "the reasons don't matter, did this happen or not?"

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I used to get this from my mom a lot. She always used it to shut down bringing nuance to a discussion.

[-] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Yes

[-] bear@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 months ago

Just a fact. When you're getting bullied and this time you're not into it.

[-] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

No.

[-] haroldfinch@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago

It’s known as false dilemma, a logical fallacy.

[-] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world -3 points 2 months ago

"Yes or no" is male logic.

Female logic goes like "no or yes or maybe or I don't know or leave me alone I got a headache..."

/s

this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
15 points (64.2% liked)

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