See also as related:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen

A mondegreen (/ˈmɒndɪˌɡriːn/ ⓘ) is a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase in a way that gives it a new meaning.[1] Mondegreens are most often created by a person listening to a poem or a song; the listener, being unable to hear a lyric clearly, substitutes words that sound similar and make some kind of sense.[2][3] The American writer Sylvia Wright coined the term in 1954, recalling a childhood memory of her mother reading the Scottish ballad "The Bonnie Earl o' Moray", and mishearing the words "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen".

and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism

A malapropism (/ˈmæləprɒpɪzəm/; also called a malaprop, acyrologia, or Dogberryism) is the incorrect use of a word in place of a word with a similar sound, either unintentionally or for comedic effect, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. An example is the statement attributed to baseball player Yogi Berra, regarding switch hitters, "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious",[1] with the accidental use of amphibious rather than the intended ambidextrous. Malapropisms often occur as errors in natural speech and are sometimes the subject of media attention, especially when made by politicians or other prominent individuals.

Good pull. Malapropism has always been one of my favorite words and comedic devices, so this is good info. Bravo!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go read an article about the Women's Lubrication movement and eat my hot astronomy on rye.

Maybe also egg corn?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F12LSAbos7A&t=467s&pp=ygULTWFsYXByb3Bpc20%3D

I usually go with “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”

I can't believe you got such a simple saying wrong. It's not rocket surgery.

I like "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

“Well isn’t that the horse calling the kettle black”

I love this.

“Welp, I’m going to get hard at work”

Umm... Yeah, that TOTALLY never actually happens to me either.

Im stealing these.

moo point.

you know, the kind of thing a cow would say.

You know, a cow's opinion

I'm a rocket sturgeon

Arguably, a mechanic who is literally performing maintenance on exceptionally mechanically dense and complex parts of a rocket, say the rocket engine plumbing or wiring harnesses... is figuratively performing rocket surgery.

You could and you should!

Nothing holds a bar to this as being my favorites, but I generally don’t pay much mind to idioms—they’re all water under a duck’s back.

I'm personally a fan of "it's not rocket appliances"

I like, "get two birds stoned with one bush" as some bastard amalgamation of "kill two birds with one stone" and "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

My mom was fond of "Not the brightest egg in the drawer".

I used to say not the sharpest cookie in the jar

That is a common urban myth.

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/is-the-alleged-original-meaning-of-the-phrase-blood-is-thicker-than-water-real

In a similar vein, "not the sharpest spoon in the drawer"