Yes.
The anticipation, and the undue dread from visualizing what would happen if I for some reason forgot or neglected those obligations, can be draining.
It especially sucks when it's things I can't do now even if I wanted to, where the waiting is part of the anticipation.
What really sucks is my org knows I'm autistic, they've been understanding of my difficulties in the past, but I can't just unlearn the lessons of a lifetime of being belittled and dismissed any time I tried to assert needs that neurotypical people decided didn't count.
Relatable.
I used to lead my tiny little old org but I took it so full-time seriously that I had no time or energy for anything else yet at the same time I was afraid it'd all fall apart without me if I so much as looked away for too long.
When I finally appointed someone to replace me and I couldn't get my old position back even if I wanted to, that was a massive relief.
The worst is having an end of day appointment. I'm thinking about it all day so I don't miss it and can't get anything done.
I suffer from this as well. Why isn't there a word to describe this condition? I bet the Germans have a precise term for it.
I feel like this concept would be incomprehensible for a German.
Why isn't there a word to describe this condition?
"Dread"
always heard it referred to as "appointment mode"
With the addition of a new member that has a wife and kids, the band has been starting practices at like 930 or 10PM from time to time. I hate it when we do that, feels like it throws off the WHOLE day.
If I make plans in advance, they feel like obligations and I immediately want to flake. If I don't make plans in advance, I get anxious and say no because I don't have time to prepare mentally. The only way to get me to do anything is to hit the sweet spot right around 24 hours in advance, which gives me just the right amount of time to not feel either pressured or unprepared.
I don't do a lot of things.
This feels sane to me. I'll maybe adopt the 24 hour thing, where applicable.
My brain works very similarly.
I don't normally identify as ND but this rings so true to me.
buddy you have no idea
Yes constantly. It's the worst feeling.
yes, having one obligation in the evening can completely sap me for the entire day as i fixate on that one thing i have to do later. then i get irritable about how i never have any time and basically turn into gradgrind's wife from 'hard times' "Upon my word and honour I seem to be fated, and destined, and ordained, to live in the midst of things that I am never to hear the last of. It really is a most extraordinary circumstance that it appears as if I never was to hear the last of anything!'"
I'm supposed to help an amazingly kind person who has helped me out a ton with a minor errand and i'm supposed to spend time with her and I wanna tell her nah i'm not up for it just out of existential dread and pre-emptive anxiety
yup. i call it 'pretired'. i really struggle to do anything i want to do toward the end of the weekend because of it.
Yes, and having more than 3-4 things happening in a week wears out my social battery like no other. Can't do things like doctor or dentist in the same week because they're all I can think about. It can be kinda frustrating.
Oh yeah, that’s me.
I’m fine with obligations as long as it’s far enough ahead so I can plan down time before hand.
Usually, if i have something important to do the next day, i can't sleep. Usually it's something where being rested would be good. also, yes, i hate having things on the calendar.
Depends what and how long.
I'm one of the few people that deeply enjoy org meetings, but if I have 2 jobs that eat up 90% of waking hours in a 48-hour span, the beginning of that feels dreadful.
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them
2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence
2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals
3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.
3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith
4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!
Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input
RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed