my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn't be able to pee
It's difficult but not impossible
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
Aloud.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
The fuck is with these influx of censored memes? Is it to avoid some tik tok filter or some shit? I am just assuming since so many of this crap is recycled tik tok memes.
I will down vote each and every one of them, I know it won't do anything but fuck it
Can't even say dingle anymore without being banned from Insta. Ducks sake.
I like how they censor the "C" in dick so it's just "DIK"
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
aloud
That's quite the sound
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting...
You're free to repost to pisspost this shitpost
A great shitpost about pee ... beautifully done ... now I gotta go pee ... by myself ... with no one holding my pee pee .. so they don't do a helicopter while I pee
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Tried this once, wife's aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
And she's only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn't know how strong of a stream you're giving her and you can't adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
You're quite the piss scientist I see!
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby...
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you're being, it's not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!!! You don't fuck with hippos, you don't fuck with moose, and you don't fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it's it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
"If it's a hippo, fuck you!"
My wife asked for this. Lol
I've definitely let my wife write her name.
I'm going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
Preschool Memes need to die, you can say 'dick' on the internet for fuck's sake!
Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker