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submitted 2 years ago by tree@lemmy.ml to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

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[-] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 52 points 2 years ago

intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible

yep three very similar things

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 41 points 2 years ago

It's like being bit by a liberal and getting an overwhelming urge to read Harry Potter.

[-] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago

"Oh god I wanna get brunch with bottomless mimosas and then VOETTTTTTTTTTT"

[-] axont@hexbear.net 50 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What is going on? Why are demons attacking in my sleep and why are they making me gay? The Democratic party is sending gay demons to snuggle with you and satitate your scratching kink

confusion

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Honestly would not be surprised if a gay sex tape is about to drop and this is how he tries to pretend it's not that

[-] GiorgioBoymoder@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago

yeah this happened to me too, but at least i busted

[-] roux@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago
[-] kristina@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Normal people call this a cat biblically-accurate-kitty

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 26 points 2 years ago

Definitely wasn't an animal. Demon is the most reasonable explanation.

[-] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Definitely wasn't rough play in an affair that left scratches that were clearly from human nails.

[-] Pavlichenko_Fan_Club@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Next time I won't miss

anarchist-occult

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

live-kissinger-reaction It was Kissinger trying to possess a body of the living to escape his eternal torment.

[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

He should post nudes. We need to see the claw marks.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago
[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

What is going on? There's naked pictures of me... all over the internet? Like what you see? Hope you do. Because there's plenty more where that came from.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

This is 100% he got caught cheating after some kinky shit and covered for it by "OMG I WAS ATTACKED BY A REAL ACTUAL DEMON!"

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

I, too, have a pet cat

[-] porcupine@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 2 years ago

Tucker being unusually self-aware about self-harming in his sleep

[-] HumongousChungus@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

can't even sleep anymore, because of woke

[-] nicklewound@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Demon's aren't like they used to be, folks. Sadly, you can no longer rely on demon's to finish the fucking job.

[-] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Critical support.

[-] Hotspur@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago

Sounds like he got some of Alex Jones’ supplements.

[-] Poogona@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

I hate that things are the way that they are now, I can't even have a good laugh at Tucker getting attacked by demons in his sleep like I would have a decade ago

[-] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

He's entering his omegaverse phase

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Tucker Calrson's Sleep Apnea Demon is a thing now.

live-kissinger-reaction victim-of-communism

[-] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

He's been going on the religious wacko thing for awhile since fox news. Idk what he's doing, he doesn't sound earnest at all but apparently he thinks this is the move.

Might be trying to get his followers to be more willing to listen to the crazier conspiracy stuff by comparison. Like oh well if tucker is saying this maybe there is something to it kind of thing

Start innocuous ish and start slipping in more protocols of the elders of Zion tier stuff with it

[-] Spongebobsquarejuche@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

That's just a preview of your eternal reward Tucky.

[-] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

I too have a vivid imagination. imaginator

this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
87 points (100.0% liked)

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