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Trump Admits Relationship With Epstein Severed After Dispute Over Dibs On Ivanka (theonion.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 95 points 3 weeks ago

Alright. At what point do we admit that The Onion is just serving out legitimate factual stories?

This absolutely happened, right?

[-] drdiddlybadger@pawb.social 40 points 3 weeks ago

It took me quite the moment to realize this was the onion so likely yes.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

I straight up ate the onion this time.

[-] Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Yes it sounds plausible but the timeline does not add up. When Ivanka was 14 they were still friends.

[-] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 55 points 3 weeks ago

Damn, got me. Didn't see the community this was for a sec and it had me going.

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 20 points 3 weeks ago

Yup. I bit too. When the Onion is this fast it's hard to catch them. The Carlson Tucker one almost got me too.

[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

This one too plausible for satire.

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 7 points 3 weeks ago

It'd be hilarious if Trump publicly denied it, turning the onion into an actual news outlet.

[-] apocalypticat@lemmy.world 43 points 3 weeks ago

You can tell this is from The Onion, because their sick relationship probably never soured.

[-] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 3 weeks ago

... Because they absolutely would have just taken turns

[-] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 weeks ago

Eiffel Tower or Devil’s?

[-] coyootje@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

I mean, there was that post earlier today about someone having about 100 hours of voice recordings of interviews with Epstein about shit Trump told him, about the white house and otherwise.

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Supposedly it did, but because Trump kept saying the quite part loud.

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago

Hmm, seems about right...

glances at url

ah

[-] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago

Well I ate that one.

[-] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 weeks ago

DAMNIT. I really ate the onion here. Good job.

[-] coaxil@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago

Was literally you comment that made me realise what was going on. Lord everything is cooked ATM

[-] Gerudo@lemm.ee 17 points 3 weeks ago

Hot damn this one got me.

[-] maurice@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Trump aint sharing

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

"If I can't have her, no one can have democracy."

[-] ZC3rr0r@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago

I recently mused that it has got to be hard for the Onion to come up with something these days given how reality keeps catching up to satire, but this headline proves it's not just hard, it's downright impossible to satirize Trump.

[-] naonintendois@programming.dev 6 points 3 weeks ago

Wow I almost fell for this. Sounds so believable in today's atmosphere.

[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 weeks ago

Imagine doing that every day for the next four years. Please vote.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

For Kamala, specifically.

[-] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago

*Not-the-Onion

[-] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 weeks ago

Guys, why are y'all just topping the least funny Onion articles? It's mostly political stuff ☹️

this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
524 points (98.5% liked)

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