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submitted 1 day ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] kameecoding@lemmy.world 49 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

This reminds me of the Heard v Depp case, on the two X chromosomes subreddit there was this long ass comment from someone who experienced abuse and said she wasn't the "perfect victim" because she fought back and hurt her abuser back and how because of this it was harder to get away from her abuser.

And when I asked how does she know that in Heard v Depp case it isn't Depp who is the imperfect victim? Because he had multiple partners testifying to his character of being a kind man etc, while Heard had the opposite (AFAIK).

All I got was silence and downvotes.

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 13 points 11 hours ago

And the men's lib sub is the best we will get when it comes to men's issues and that one sucks too.

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 23 points 11 hours ago

The mens rights sub originally was a good place for dudes who were getting taken to the cleaners in divorce court, losing full custody of the kids just because the mom wanted em, and even an instance iirc of the wife taking the dog only to have em put down later.

Then it slowly mutated into a watered down version of incels

[-] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 hours ago

I mean that's bound to happen. If the main thing that draws you to a space is that you're all being abused by women in one way or another, then it's probably going to end up being a place to hate on women and therefore attract women haters like incels.

Men's lib should be a space where we fight the injustices imposed on men by the dominant hierarchy. Like the fact that we're assumed to be worse at caring for our kids than their mothers and that this assumption disadvantages us in court. Or the fact we're assumed to be abusers and that being a victim somehow makes us be seen as lesser men and automatically deserving of the abuse we get (like in this comic). Or the fact that we're assumed to BE/BE PART OF the dominant hierarchy and therefore can't be victims of it, even though we can lose our "manlyness" through something as simple or human as crying when we're sad.

Only with this mindset can we channel our victimisation into positive action rather than towards hatred of women.

[-] Aurora_TheFirstLight@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 12 hours ago

Hive minds are strong remember to not rate your opinion based on how many up votes it gets

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[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 11 points 11 hours ago

This will keep happening as long as the left treats any acknowledgement of mens issues as a moral failing

[-] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 14 points 11 hours ago

What left is doing that?

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

How? By refusing to accept that female on male abuse is a thing. Go find a mainstream leftist place and bring it up. See what happens

[-] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 11 hours ago

We’re in one right now and that isn’t happening.

[-] gerbler@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago

Whew that was quick https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/comment/14541652

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Lemmy isn't mainstream. Most people, even the terminally online don't know it exists

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[-] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 93 points 18 hours ago

Woah stop making men feel safe and seen. Next thing they'll become feminists, or worse, empathetic and caring humans!

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[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Thanks, Mr. Blobfish! That's funny, I don't recall taking Ambien...

[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 190 points 22 hours ago

I was once seeing a girl for a couple weeks that FUCKING ROOFIED MY DRINK so she could look through my phone while I was lying there watching her unable to move. It was absolutely fucked.

[-] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 15 hours ago

Terrifying. I've had other reasons to only use a passcode, but now I have another.

[-] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 29 points 18 hours ago

Good thing you managed to stay conscious, holy shit!
Didn't even know that was possible

[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 4 points 11 hours ago

Depends on the type of drug, not all date rapes do the same thing. I think this one was GHB but I don’t actually know.

[-] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 hours ago

Thats horrible! Now it exist some kind of drug testing straw that color themselves if it detect something. But just to think that its a possibility is horrible.

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[-] qaz@lemmy.world 60 points 21 hours ago

That's horrible, I hope you're doing better now

[-] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 92 points 21 hours ago

I’m married now, and this was over a decade ago. As soon as I was able to function again I kicked her out of my house and never spoke to her again.

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[-] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 66 points 19 hours ago

abusers are trash, no matter what their gender. May they all rot.

[-] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 123 points 22 hours ago

Really applies to most things. I'm not a dude, trans woman, but I've gotten sexually harassed a lot both pre and post transition and the response I got pre and post transition is night and day. Pretransition people treated me like I was crazy for feeling unsafe and like I was supposed to enjoy it.
Honestly, men should be allowed to feel unsafe around women, or really allowed to feel unsafe in general, and be taken seriously for it.

[-] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

I'm a guy and I have a cnc/rape kink (want to be ) but if a girl try to do it for real I would kick her ass no matter how pretty she would be. If you start thinking with your brain I don't understand how a guy could enjoy someone that toxic and disgusting.

[-] BluesF@lemmy.world 64 points 20 hours ago

One downfall of what I only hesitantly refer to as modern feminism (although really I'm talking about terfs and the terf-adjacent) is that it has painted men as dangerous by default. I'm also a trans woman so I've seen both sides of the coin, too... I do feel less safe now, this is true. Many things were easier when I was living as a man. But I was never dangerous or an abuser.

Nonetheless, a former partner used accusations of abuse against me and turned so many people on me. The only ones that stuck by me were former romantic partners, who knew the accusations couldn't have been true. For everyone else, it was so easy to accept that a man - even a clearly gentle one - would be an abuser.

In reality I've been a victim of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual... All long before I transitioned.

[-] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

Im so sorry for you,hope you are better now ❤️

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[-] LongboardingLad@lemmy.world 132 points 23 hours ago

Thanks for posting this! Being male and being abused is a very isolating experience on many levels. I wish good things upon you, friend.

[-] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

Hope you are better now 🫂🫂

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[-] Willie@lemmy.world 137 points 1 day ago

But the only place men have to go to is an imaginary fish thing.

[-] Schmeckinger@lemmy.world 82 points 23 hours ago

You leave blobby alone. He is trying his best.

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[-] Catpurple@lemmy.blahaj.zone 66 points 22 hours ago

An abusive partner accusing the other of cheating is very often a projection of the fact they themselves had been cheating. Since they know they would cheat, and were/are, they either assume the other person is the same way, or simply don't want to draw attention to their affair. It's an awful thing.

[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 16 points 16 hours ago

It can also be a sign of past trauma. I.E. they were chested on before, and are projecting the behaviors of the past onto you. Also awful, but in a much more sad way.

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