Uuuggg. MDC, not even once. Believe it or not absolutely no one here was surprised by this story.

Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?

This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.

Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.

Getting a child in prison.

What could go wrong?

And they say romance is dead

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

Who says romance is dead?

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

So that's how God did it, huh?

Still a better love story than Twilight?

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

That headline just got wilder with every word

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.

Life uh, finds a way.