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[-] Gork@lemm.ee 163 points 3 days ago
[-] stoi@lemm.ee 71 points 3 days ago
[-] whostosay@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Holy shit are crabs imitating eyes on the base of their claws? Biology people please chime in and confirm the rad.

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

I got the entire flashlight in the picture for you.

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

VICE CROPPING,
ᶜHITLORD

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 110 points 3 days ago

So, fun story:

I used to work security at a factory. Main part of the job is doing rounds every 2 hours (walking throughout the factory and grounds, touching a small metal wand to NFC chips mounted various places to prove you're doing it), and unlocking the gate and signing people in during shift change.

In orientation, we are informed of shift change times. 2pm, 11pm, 6am. Shift change last approx. 30 minutes to get everyone in and everyone out.

So, this newbie gets hired. Bear in mind, this is the most basic ass rent a cop gig. Even calling it rent a cop is an exaggeration. It is mostly watching Netflix on your phone. Nothing has ever happened or likely will, and if it does, we aren't even allowed to do anything. Sit in the shack, call the cops. That's the whole ass job.

Newbie is 19, gung ho wannabe cop. First day on the job, training shift, he brings pepper spray and handcuffs. Immediately told no, he cannot have that.

Second day, training shift, he brings a giant ass mag light and a baton. Nope. Can't have either.

Third day, solo shift, he brings the mag light again, and decided to do his round as shift change begins.

He's just started his round, cars at the gate, honking to be let in. Someone calls the front desk, they radio him, let him know he missed the mark on timing, and to let the people in.

He tells them he's on his round, he'll be back in about 30 minutes. They can wait. They can just sit there, and be late for their shifts, and get write ups, and fuck up their paychecks and be late.

He returns from his round to find the manager of the factory, one of the most genuinely nice people you've ever met (haven't worked there in 10 years, still see him sometimes. He's just a kind, wonderful person) has showed up, and as a kindness has unlocked the gate and is signing people in for the guard. Took it upon himself, and made sure everyone got scanned and the log was filled out so that the guard wouldn't get in trouble (guard company is a separate company).

Dude starts shouting at him, tells him he has no right, yada yada. Goes over and locks the gate, tells manager he's going to go over the logs first (making these people wait) and then when he's done he'll let everyone in. Manager tells him he can't do that, he can do it himself, or the manager can do it. But they're already a full 30 minutes behind schedule for a factory that runs like clockwork.

Guard refuses, manager unlocks the gate.

GUARD HITS MANAGER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE MAG LIGHT

guard ends up fired, but not before one of the employees waiting to get out tackles him and another calls the cops.

We almost lost the contract.

[-] BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 92 points 3 days ago

He will fit right in as a cop

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 27 points 3 days ago

Pretty much, yeah. I loved that job, such a great fuck all job where I got to do whatever I wanted, but I hated being that closely associated with law enforcement.

[-] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 days ago

Idk, has potential but I'm pretty sure cops are very hierarchical and not supposed to beat up their bosses

[-] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip -4 points 3 days ago

"american cop" please. There are civilised nations with educated, carefully selected and friendly, helpful cops.

[-] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 days ago
[-] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

Every country I've visited so far. But most experience in germany. In all those decades i haven't met an arsehole-cop. Despite their not-so-greatly-adequate pay. Probably because all the trigger-happy ego-tripping arsewipes don't survive the first selection-day and end up in other career-choices.

I'm no cop btw, but had many interactions. Got robbed a lot 😁

[-] optissima@possumpat.io 3 points 2 days ago
[-] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip -1 points 2 days ago

Lol. Cool, you found anecdotal "proof" they're all bad. On an islamist news-source. ACAB 😁

[-] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 2 days ago

islamist news-source

lmao, though I've got a better article for you here

[-] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Wow. Great argument. Watch out you don't get beaten by cops in that frightening place you seem to have to live in.

[-] Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 days ago

That's wild how someone can be so obviously in the wrong and act like that. Dude must have been power tripping hard

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 20 points 3 days ago

Yeah, you occasionally get that type in security. They suck. Mainly you get older people who can't retire and young people who need a second or third and need night shift job.

[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago

They're not iron, they're magnesium. Hence "Maglite".

[-] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago

They are 6061 aluminium alloy. The name comes from its founder, Maglica.

[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Man, I sure have had that one wrong my whole life. Damn.

[-] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

May this be your biggest mistake in life.

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

This is the all new irheavy.

[-] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Itd be Feavy. Iron is Fe.

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 35 points 3 days ago

Fun fact: you can get lithium battery and LED conversion kits for these.

[-] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

My dad is one of those "worryingly concerned about self-defense" boomers and I got an LED/lithium ion maglite-ish flashlight last year for Christmas.

It still doubles as a bludgeon and it's rechargeable and puts out like 5k lumens, so while I didn't think I needed anything like it, it's quite handy if you live in the mountains like I do. Nothing scares off a couple coyotes or a bear like just blasting them in the retina with a high-end LED photon cannon (short of an actual shotgun with bean bag rounds like my neighbor uses)

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 days ago

I had a couple of maglites around the house for years. Never thought of getting batteries because they only last about two or three months sitting and then only about a few hours of actual use as lights. So they sat empty of batteries for years.

Heard of the led conversion and now my lights last forever and double as a security bat. Never thought of getting lithium batteries for them ... once I do that they'll be flashlights for life.

And to think I was just going to throw them away because I had given up on them ever being useful.

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I've got a 4D Mag but just can't justify the expense of the conversion kit. Got one for an old gf's light and they are DOPE! But for the $70 price tag I can get a couple of super nice handhelds that weigh nothing.

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

I agree. That's why I haven't converted mine. Maybe at some point for fun but i have other, brighter flashlights.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

Does that make them more or less effective for beating in a face?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

They're already more or less effective.

[-] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Added chance of fire damage!

[-] FellowEnt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

You will need the tactical bezel add on for that

[-] Baggins@feddit.uk 13 points 3 days ago

The lads used to carry these when on patrol in Northern Ireland in the 80s and 90s.

[-] Zron@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Some mad lad bolted one of these to the hand guard of an L85 and called it a weapon light.

This was, of course, really to add mass to the rifle for when it was used as a bludgeon, because it is so British that it spontaneously ejected its own magazines as a form of silent protest against violence.

[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

Can also be used as a M120 mortar tube if the need for field artillery arises

[-] M137@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

I've seen this without the shitty crop several times in the past few days. I don't remember if there was a source or something in the normal version, but the cropping being done to remove that is the only thing I can think of. Shitty people.

[-] Maven@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 3 days ago

Nope! It just inexplicably sucks

[-] houstoneulers@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Mag(num)lite

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Only one of those is adjacent to the reason why I keep mine by the door.

[-] Sternburgexport@feddit.org 3 points 3 days ago

I have a MagLite 3D and this is so accurate

[-] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Barely more light than nightswitch.

[-] JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee 2 points 3 days ago
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
433 points (96.4% liked)

Memes

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